003 | VOICE

[queenofseers]

[ Cassandra's voice sounds nearly gone. And it sounds close- this is on the mental link, not her communicator. The communicator's smashed. (Many things are smashed, but this is voice, not video, thankfully.) She hasn't bothered to get a new one yet. ]

So if you were one of those shitheads who kept whining about how "oh, those Gods, they ruin everything", you're in fucking luck, because now three of them are gone. So if you had some sort of hang-up on Baphomet setting shit on fire, or Persephone and that flooding issue which, by the way, was her saving your asses, or with Dionysus- I, I don't know-

[ There's a brief pause. This hurts. She shouldn't be talking about it, and not in public. But she's already too far in. ]

You can just keep it all to your fucking self. It doesn't matter anymore. What a great time it is for you.

And- if you had some sort of problem with Rex, who knows what the hell that would be, and he doesn't come back- then you'd better keep that to yourself, too. Before I fucking rip your fucking mouth off.

[ There's quiet, for just a bit too long. Then, softly: ] What am I doing.

[ The feed cuts off. ]

Comments

[queenofseers]

[ Hange is always so calm about these things. Balanced. At this point, in this situation, Cassandra doesn't think she likes it. Especially knowing what Hange is capable of. ]

Are you going to give me tips on how not to lose my mind?

[aberrant_type]

Would you like some?

[it's unsettling, isn't it?]

[queenofseers]

[ She's beginning to think this is a terrible route to go down.

But she's always liked getting answers. ]

I'm...curious, I'll say that.

[aberrant_type]

Indulge yourself, abuse your liver and the surroundings for a week, or maybe two. And then remember that your friends aren't best served by your dissolution, pull it together, and carry on with your work.

[was that as unpleasant as expected?]

[queenofseers]

[ She's certainly already abused her surroundings; Hange can't see it, but her apartment's in tatters. She sighs, looking around at what she's done. She already knows people who need her right now, Martin and Andy especially, and she really shouldn't have wasted her time pulling this shit. ]

So what's your alternative for when you don't have a week to fuck off on?

[aberrant_type]

Skip the first part and move immediately onto the second.

[queenofseers]

[ She sucks in one of her cheeks. She should prefer that answer. She doesn't, completely. ]

I'm going to guess you had to do that pretty often. [ The question is implicit: how do you handle that? ]

[aberrant_type]

You get used to it. It's like flexing a muscle. It gets stronger with practice. You can outrun tendencies to collapse, indefinitely if you have to.

[queenofseers]

That's...grim.

[ It's what she wants, selfishly. But when Hange puts it that way, it just sounds horrifying. ]

You haven't had to do it here? No particularly horrifying things to deal with?

[aberrant_type]

[it's pretty horrifying. But it gets the job done. What's more important, protecting the greater body or indulging a personal impulse? For Hange, the choice is easy.]

That is private!

[she's pretty sure she ate some people, during the Shimmer. Her stomach still lurches when she thinks of it.]

The people who love you need you, Cass.

[queenofseers]

That's-

[ The people who love you. She never really thinks of her friends that way. Too personal, too close. And she just lost some of the few people she was certain truly cared for her.

But more do exist, don't they? People who love her. Hell. ]

Yeah. I get it. God, I look like a fucking mess, don't I.

[aberrant_type]

[affable.] You sure do. It happens sometimes.

[queenofseers]

Is that your way of saying I, specifically, look like that sometimes? Or people in general?

[ You never know with Hange. ]

[aberrant_type]

You, specifically, look like that right now. It happens to people in general, sometimes.

[queenofseers]

Just making sure.

[ She huffs a sigh and, though Hange can't see it, tries to relax herself a bit. ] I'm hoping your life since we last spoke hasn't been this particular brand of miserable? And you've kept your, you know, more obscure hobbies to a minimum?

[ She means growing bioweapons. ]

[aberrant_type]

It hasn't been miserable at all, actually!

[she's ... sounding absolutely impenetrable. oh, Cass, she's been up to shit, but the bioweapons have taken a backseat for the nonce.]

[queenofseers]

Well. That's nice for you.

[ But she sees what Hange is avoiding. ] And you hobbies, again? How's gardening going?

[aberrant_type]

[Hange swerved off of her biological projects to demand Ronan Lynch help her dream a spaceship, per Cass' suggestion about Hange helping them live in space... but... she can't say that, can she?]

Oh, very well, thanks for asking!