maskormenace | 003

[ Cassandra's voice sounds nearly gone. And it sounds close- this is on the mental link, not her communicator. The communicator's smashed. (Many things are smashed, but this is voice, not video, thankfully.) She hasn't bothered to get a new one yet. ]

So if you were one of those shitheads who kept whining about how "oh, those Gods, they ruin everything", you're in fucking luck, because now three of them are gone. So if you had some sort of hang-up on Baphomet setting shit on fire, or Persephone and that flooding issue which, by the way, was her saving your asses, or with Dionysus- I, I don't know-

[ There's a brief pause. This hurts. She shouldn't be talking about it, and not in public. But she's already too far in. ]

You can just keep it all to your fucking self. It doesn't matter anymore. What a great time it is for you.

And- if you had some sort of problem with Rex, who knows what the hell that would be, and he doesn't come back- then you'd better keep that to yourself, too. Before I fucking rip your fucking mouth off.

[ There's quiet, for just a bit too long. Then, softly: ] What am I doing.

[ The feed cuts off. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You asked, and it's the truth.

Most of us do it, we ignore it. Maybe mention on the network someone left, but we go back to our daily lives, because there is absolutely nothing else we can do, and we know that.

[ a pause ] Or maybe you build a memorial, for the imPorts who have left. Jaime has. [ but Jaime is healthy ]

Jaime's been here about as long as you, right? You've both just...focused on different things.

[ Kaneki with his apocalypse research and outer space trips, Jaime with his down-to-earth, low key support. ]

What I mean is, you have all these feelings about this shit and- look, we don't know each other that well. Why tell me?

I know. He is a good guy. [ Kaneki respects him a lot, specially how together he seems to be even though he has an alien attached to his spine. ]

And I told you because you asked. [ so few people ever asked Kaneki how he deals with things.

Also, they aren't exactly friends; if they were, Kaneki would probably try to be positive and supportive and try to give Cassandra hope of her friends maybe coming back instead of focusing on things that would upset her. Because Kaneki wants his friends to feel good and not be upset. Of course he doesn't want Cass to feel like that either, but he can be a lot more honest with her since he doesn't have to focus 100% on trying to make her be okay.

But, well - since she seems that shocked ]

I realize I might have been blunt, I apologize. [ he can, naturally, apply the same with her and instead just try to make her feel better. To focus on others comes very naturally to Kaneki ]

...I'd rather you be blunt than not. I'd rather most people do that.

[ This isn't what she expected from tonight- her own grief transferring into worry for someone else. To some extent, it feels good for her, like she can focus on something else for awhile without really avoiding her own pain.

But she is avoiding it, staying on this topic. Even if she's not saying it. ]

Isn't there like an imPort support group or something? Besides the Network. Because you can't be the only person who feels that way, if all of this- [ She's referring to her own emotional blow-up. ] -is any indication.

ImPorts don't like to deal with their own shit. [ a pause. He realizes he cursed ]

Issues.

I think this group of current imPorts is actually very mezsed up compared to the past. [ there are SO MANY screwed up people here ] So it feels like it's harder.

Kaneki, I am literally the last person in the world you need to stop yourself from cursing around. Seriously.

[ If she'd been in a better mood, she might be amused. ]

What, did we have a group of perfectly well-adjusted imPorts before? Because that's a bit hard to believe, considering I don't know how being here doesn't fuck you up. We're facing down an apocalypse and being tossed around like dolls. Anybody who doesn't lose their mind a little is being oblivious.

Once upon a time. [ he smiles a little, though she cant see ]

We weren't all well adjusted. But... they were extraordinary. And some of them were just children. [ he sure misses them SO MUCH ]

I think it says a lot.

Edited 2018-10-25 22:31 (UTC)

A lot about how massively traumatized everyone around here has gotten, you mean?

[ She takes a deep breath. ] Sounds nice. But that's certainly not what we're dealing with these days.

no, it's not. It's as if the Porter has a type.

You'd think she'd want people who weren't depressed to help her save the world, yeah?

[ She's both venting and questioning. But she knows how bad Kaneki can be mentally, and pauses. ]

That...may be too far, huh.

It's true, though. [ kaneki knows very well what kind of person he is ]

[ He really can take anything in stride. She sighs a bit. ]

I'm too fucking tired to pick apart the Porter's habits right now. Thanks for the condolences, I guess. [ A pause. ] And the honesty.

[ She can also appreciate that. ]

You are welcome.

And good luck, Cassandra.

I'm hearing plenty of that tonight...

[ Everyone wishing her luck. At what? Not mourning? But Kaneki isn't someone she's going to snip at over it. ]

You take care of yourself. Okay?

Always. [ he absolutely does not ]

And you too.

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