sixth quarto. | video; id: cassandra wayne

[cassassin]

[ the camera is on cass in what looks like some kind of crazy rich person home gym, with high ceilings and a wide open space. the place is kind of trashed, though. sparring dummies lie broken on the floor behind her, along with a heavy punching bag broken off of its chain. its side is split open, stuffing spilling out. and that is... definitely a sword stuck in the wall. the damage goes on and on, the place isn't... quite destroyed, but a lot of the equipment is wrecked.

faintly, in the background, music from the nutcracker can be heard.

she's alone, looking... not great. like a barely-contained mess of anger, sadness, exhaustion--she's keeping her expression more or less neutral, but it's clearly a struggle. her knuckles are bruised, cracked and bleeding, and she would have done this over audio but frankly she doesn't care right now, this is as much about venting as letting people know. cassandra's been hitting things for hours, screaming, crying, doing anything to let out the feeling of loss and regret and it's not helping, nothing is working--

she's not thinking clearly, and this is ill-advised on a lot of levels, but fuck it. finally the words come, forced out quickly, as she rests a hand over her eyes. her voice is angry, cracked around the edges--not crying, but she sounds like she might start. ]

Barbara Gordon's gone home. If you knew her. I'm...

[ cassandra pauses, trying to figure out how to finish that sentence, before settling on: ]

Tired. Of losing people. Of... of being the one left standing. [ the anger drains from her tone on the last part of that. there's another pause, before she shakes her head, voice barely above a whisper. ]

Fuck. [ and it ends there. ]

Comments

[video|private]

[batburgers]

[He's not surprised this is her reaction. He and Cass didn't do much talking about the their pasts and the deep shit that happened in them, but he knows how she felt about Babs. It was obvious. But the fact that she made a very public viewing of her reaction...that he's a little surprised about. That kind of display doesn't usually run in this family, outside of him. And his displays end in people blown up or dead.]

Cass...

[He doesn't even really know what he should be saying right now, except that he needs to do something. He's already on his way to the house, but who knows if she'll let him in?]

private voice.

[cassassin]

[ her mother is gone, that's what it keeps coming back to in her head. the only person in her family who truly understood her and took her as she was, who accepted and cared for her without judgement or reservation. bruce going home had hurt. but losing barbara--she doesn't know what to do.

the video is off, this time. it's staying off, if she can help it. ]

No.

private voice.

[batburgers]

[He's fine with that. He's usually the one removing the video.]

No, you don't want to talk, or no the punching things until it breaks isn't helping? Because, yeah, I know how that works. Never really does.

private voice.

[cassassin]

I--

[ it usually does, she thinks. at least for a little while. but it's done nothing, just left her spiraling further. ]

Both.

voice

[queenofseers]

[ She hadn't met the person Cassandra was referring to, but this hits...a bit too close to home. She sounds a bit awkward as she speaks. ]

So...listen- [ She sighs. She'd like to seem better than this. ] Look, I get the feeling. Clearly. Do you need anything?

[ Her tone isn't exactly gentle, but she's trying. ]

private voice.

[cassassin]

[ cass has enough presence of mind to flip this to private, at least. ]

Don't... don't know. Maybe. I--

[ she's stumbling over this more than usual. ]

private voice

[queenofseers]

[ Oof. This is starting to hurt a bit, and she hardly knows the other Cassandra very well. She sighs. ]

I can't say I'd be the best company or anything. But if you need anything, or...whatever. You know what I mean.

private voice

[cassassin]

[ a shaky-ish breath. ]

I'm... not great company either, right now, it's... yeah. Thanks.

[ a pause. ]

So, I don't... Myths aren't... What's Urðr? Her story.

[ wrapping yourself up in myth, the act of embodying, of Becoming--that much she understands. on multiple levels, at this point. ]

[ video ] »

[divaricate]

I didn't know her, but I know the feeling. This place -- it can really go fuck itself a lot of the time.

[ SHE KNOWS THE FEELING, CASSANDRA. ]

A lot.

private voice.

[cassassin]

Felt like this at home, too.

Can't win. Can we?

video;

[fridgeflower]

You'll go home at some point, too, won't you? It's not-- [ Actually, she doesn't know if it's all bad. The circumstance could easily negate any potential reunions. ]

I was going to do takeout, if you're interested.

private voice.

[cassassin]

It's... complicated.

[ in the life she'd left behind, she had been hiding in europe for the last month, with no intention of going home. there's a pause, as she considers. carefully. laurie's... she doesn't know if whatever's there even is anything. but this girl is fun, nice, and knows how cassandra usually spends her evenings. which frees her from having to make convenient lies and excuses, at least. ]

Don't think I'm... good company. Right now. [ that's not a no. or even an "i don't know if i'm up for it". the subtext is more "i don't know why you think i'm worth that." but. ] What kind?

private voice.

[fridgeflower]

Either burgers or soup dumplings. I hadn't made a final decision. I guess I'm jonesing for salty and savory.

Wanna make the tie-breaker call?

[ This is a much easier subject than Porter-induced foul moods. Literal salt > The Salt of Fate. ]

video;

[mildmanneredwriter]

Friend of yours, I take it?

I'm sorry to hear about that.

voice.

[cassassin]

... Family. And... thanks.

[ .... nope this is still weird. ]

voice.

[mildmanneredwriter]

Oh...sorry. [Well, he kind of stuck his foot in it there, didn't he.] I didn't know that could even happen—I was under the impression it took us from all over, randomly.

[What are the odds of family members getting ported and living here? Pretty low now, apparently. Way to go, Clark.]

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[Uh.

Okay clearly this person is going through something extremely difficult and personal and emotional right now but

Looking at all that damage, the soldier in Jacob is still just going damn with amazement.]

I'm sorry. I ran into her at a Swear-In, once. She seemed like a great person.

private video.

[cassassin]

[ she flips this to private. her camera's on, at least for now. the slight bat edges aren't in her tone, but the clipped diction is still there. ]

She... was. Took me in before, uh. Bruce ever did. Always did her best.

private video.

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

I wish I'd had the chance to get to know her better. But maybe the Porter will give that chance. You never know, right? One way or the other.

[He's trying to look on a potential bright side here, but knows full well that this level of ambiguity- the unknowing of who will come or go month-to-month- is its own darkness.]

video; private

[khajidont]

...for what it's worth, I'm still here.

[ He knows she's not just talking about this place - but it's true regardless. No matter how many people come and go, Jaime seems to be the one constant. He was here when Cassandra first came, and he was here when she left. When she came back, he was right where she left him. ]

You want me to bring some food over? Not for now, necessarily, just to have. I always find getting that kind of thing together hard when, um -- you know.

[ There's not a lot he can do. But when he's down like this, he tends to live off of packaged cereal for a month. At the very least he can make sure Cass isn't doing that. ]

video; private

[cassassin]

[ he's still here. and she could say something about how if he wants to stay that way, or not dead, he's better off as they were, not understanding each other, barely speaking to one another, because for her to know and care means they're going to die or leave, or be there and ripped away while she wasn't even there in the first place--

there wouldn't be any point. so she just closes her eyes, and takes a very deep breath. ]

Have plenty of... frozen stuff. And protein. But... thanks.

video; private

[khajidont]

It's not just for the food.

[ It's a gesture - to show someone else is here, that they care. ]

Company's part of the deal too. If you want it.

[restingstitchface]

[It's Barbara's surname that piques his interest. He doesn't speak for a while; just lets the moment settle, looking for an reason to get involved in conversation. His mind had pulled him a hundred different ways when the important people in his life had left him alone.]

No one ever told C.S. Lewis that grief felt so like fear.

[The grounding nature of a familiar subject. Though he doesn't believe she might interpret it the same.]

What I'm saying is...

[Too hard. He changes tack.]

You should clean your hands. You don't want them getting infected.

[Nailed it.]

private video.

[cassassin]

[ she's giving the video a hard, careful look. like she's trying to make sense of him here. ]

No... gloating, this time?

[ it's been ages, but she hasn't forgotten the message he left when she ported back after her first departure, returning to an empty manor. ]

ditto that

[restingstitchface]

[For the first time in this conversation, he actually looks at her. He has every intention of arguing his point but his usual malice isn't poisoning his tongue. He replies neutrally, using the tone he does in class.]

I don't gloat: I evoke emotional responses that make you think.

[He believes what he says, though his personality flaws are not so easily erased as his tone. Is Professor Crane just a repaired persona?]

Go and clean your hands. Then we can start talking.