maskormenace | 💣 015

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💣 015 | text

WANTED: 1 courageous soul willing to run weekly shopping errands for this week and the next. Buyer will be compensated for purchased goods and for time spent. Must be able to follow a list. Must have more patience than I do for the modern American custom of swarming the shops en fucking masse during the week before Christmas. Thank you.

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Quite all right, Miss Spellman. Alfie Solomons.

well mr. solomons if you still need someone to go do some shopping for you I wouldn't mind at all

Then I may keep you as a backup. Send you out for candles if I run out.

how long do you plan on hiding out till?

Six months into the New Year.

and no cabin fever? I'm impressed

I'm a city man, we're used to being cooped up by default.

I'm from a mining town so a lot of men there are sort of used to that as well
but it's nice to get out to the countryside every now and then right?

Do you know, two years here and I haven't been very often. I rode out in a mate's car once.

maybe now is the time!

Have you got any suggestions of places to visit?

maybe montana? lots of mountains and meadows
it's supposed to be peaceful

Fucking hell, Montana? That's clear across the country, isn't it?

[Alfie is not very up on American geography.]

I'm guessing you don't want to go anywhere far

[ Oops. ]

but that depends... where are you?

Maurtia Falls. Pennsylvania.

I think there's some fancy cabin resort in lancaster somewhere there?
I've never been out of greendale so I've only heard or read about places

And where is Greendale?

new york state

[ But this is subject to change because... canon doesn't confirm it 100%. ]

Ah, New York. Near the city?

[The question that's the bane of every upstater.]

I'd say a few hours drive?
I've never been though so don't quote me on it

Now, that's a shame. I've heard good things. If only it were a Porter city, eh?

it would be nice but I'm in no rush right now
but you haven't been to the city yet?

Never in my life, not now and not in 1922.

new york is a pretty busy place
if you hate black friday and christmas shoppers it's kind of always hectic over there

That's all right. I'm used to the general hectic energy of a city.

[This post is 100% grumpiness about longer lines than usual at the grocery store.]