THE MAJORITY REPORT: FEBRUARY 20TH, 2019

[maskormods]

THE MAJORITY REPORT: FEBRUARY 20TH, 2019A new sense of H.O.P.E. is rising with imPorts are pulling themselves up by their bootstraps in an inspiring communal effort.

SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS
As seen in local Jeopardy news:
Cybertronian imPort Knock Out was fined under the Misdemeanor Act after he left Jeopardy native Joshua Atkinson clinging to the top of a school flagpole on Saturday night. Mr Atkinson was trapped there for several hours before his cries for help were heard early Sunday morning, and he was safely retrieved and checked over by Jeopardy Fire and Rescue.

Upon being reached for comment, Knock Out was apologetic. "The whole thing is merely a cultural misunderstanding," he stated. "On Cybertron, placing another at a greater height than oneself is a significant mark of respect. I most sincerely regret any accidental trauma inflicted on Joshua."

Mr Atkinson has elected not to press any charges.

AEGAD! AN UPDATE!
As seen on the official press release circulating throughout the Porter Cities and on Aegis Force Bwitter:
PRESS RELEASE FROM AEGIS FORCE: The operation to apprehend the arms dealer Franklin Duquesne, alias Master-at-Arms, has been successfully concluded. Aegis agents, in cooperation with local police and other heroes, have arrested Duquesne and several of his accomplices and customers, and taken dozens of deadly weapons off the streets of Maurtia Falls. Agents Ashley Williams, Psychopomp, and Lucina assisted in this dangerous investigation, and Agent Cayde-6 disabled the fugitive’s combat exoskeleton by shooting the power suit’s arms off with his ‘Golden Gun’ ability, before announcing that the hostile had been ‘disarmed.’

Meanwhile, the pursuit of imPort super-criminal ARMITAGE HUX continues. The charges against Hux now include attempted murder of an Aegis agent, coercing others into committing crimes on his behalf, causing a car accident through reckless driving, and littering. Hux is now believed to operate under the alias of REGULUS, an identity tied to the imPort criminal organization known as 'Constellation.' He has also demonstrated the ability to control the minds of others, and is wanted for questioning in connection with the death of BODHI ROOK earlier this month. He was last spotted fleeing a crime scene in Maurtia Falls, driving a silver Lexus.

Anyone encountering Hux is urged to exercise caution, as he is believed to be extremely dangerous. Take note of the attached updated file photo and notify the police or contact Aegis Force if you see this man or have any information on his activities that may be helpful to this investigation.

TROUBLE A-SUN-DER
As seen in the newest print of Nonah tabloid THE SUPERNOVA:
Mile high meltdown! Brawl breaks out above Nonah as imPorts clash!
Watch the shocking moment solarpowered sun god Apollo appears to attack stalwart Aegis Force member Archie over Nonah city!

A vicious attack involving two imPorts took place over Nonah this week according to eyewitnesses. Footage of the fight, believed to show longtime imPort favourite Archie and new arrival Apollo, shows the latter releasing a solar flare at the beloved Poké personality, who is seen to be knocked out of the air.

[Embedded in the article is a grainy amateur mobile phone video, capturing what looks like Apollo attacking Archie and Crobat. The video cuts as Apollo dives after them both, but whether it's to save them or attack again is unclear!]

There are rumors that the incident may have been related to reports of Archie's alleged involvement in the previous Apollo's death. Conflicting accounts of the event have been circulating on Bwitter, with fan accounts openly declaring themselves #TeamArchie or #TeamApollo.

An eyewitness report of the event, who wished to only by identified under their online handle of 'apolloswife' was available for comment; "Clearly Apollo was saving that idiot! I mean, he's definitely the forgive and forget type, right? I'm amazed Aegis hasn't written that guy up for unprofessionalism!"

Another Nonah native called in with information, claiming staunchly that Apollo was first to strike. His aggression was uncalled for and clear proof that the new sunshine hero on the block is hiding something far darker behind the bright light he puts out.

SHIP 'N SHACK UP?
As seen on Rumblr, Bwitter, Instascam:
Something must be in the air, indeed. For reason entirely unknown, imPort fandom has practically tripled in output over the past week. Excruciatingly detailed fanart of Max Carson and Tim Drake, purple prose ficlets of Andy and Georgia, actual sonnets of Mitch and Clark Kent have flourished over the usual imPort fandom stomping grounds. A local Nonah couple even cosplayed as Catra and Rapunzel and got engaged!

Needless to say, it didn't take long for an series of infamous ship wars to be declared. Is your name among the drama?

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from A WINK OF PINK to A SQUEEZE OF LIME because everyone knows lime goes best with salt, and there are some unusual saltines in the imPort fandom as of late.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

Comments

[plentystrong]

They did what now?

[bassriff]

Hey, congratulations!

[ sorry catra she thinks this is hilarious ]

text

[knaval]

LMAOOOOOO I BELIEVE THAT CAME UP SEVERAL TIMES IN MY AMBASSADOR CAMPAIGN WHEN I SAID I'D PUT BRUCE WAYNE ON A ROOF

IT WAS A SHOW OF RESPECT AND NONE OF YOU BELIEVED ME!!!

Re: text

[redcosmedic]

Thank you, Riptide.

[ He'll remember that you had his back on this one. ]

[mildmanneredwriter]

Oh, geez. It's not that I'm not flattered by the poetry, but I'm married. Not to him!

vid

[h2no]

[he's not been this angry in a long time:] THEY PUBLISHED WHAT?!

[heliophilic]

[There is not an appropriate facepalm icon.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Soooooooo...

Video, private

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[Concerned yet incredulous:]

What the hell happened?

[cassassin]

Definitely didn't need to see that.

[fridgeflower]

Double-date time, y'think?

But, yeah, that is... Definitely elaborate.

video

[solarcharged]

This is some truly sensationalized bullshit. It was an accident, end of story.

Re: video

[h2no]

[so, like, he doesn't want to touch half of this just yet, buuuut...]

So that ability of yours to set things on fire?

[heliophilic]

[There is not an appropriate facepalm icon.]

video

[crassidy]

The report sounds legit, mate. I remember the time you viciously attacked me during an innocent handshake. You're a public menace.

text;

[heliophilic]

#teamsomeonemakeitstop

#ihatebothofyourightnow

[solarcharged]

Don't you start.

Re: text;

[h2no]

#savem

[redcosmedic]

Like I said, a purely mundane misunderstanding.

[ He definitely didn't threaten dismemberment or anything if Atkinson tried to press charges. ]

[choosetruth]

Bullshit.

text

[choosetruth]

I've been shipped with weirder.

[plentystrong]

okay spill

[ She just wants to feel a little bit better about herself right now. ]

[worthit]

Awwwww! That's so cuuuute! A little strange, but cute!

[plentystrong]

You're taking this pretty well...

[fireandhoney]

Are the locals really that obsessed with imPort romantic lives?

[He's totally not asking because of a recent development in his life.]

[worthit]

Maybe it's a way of living vicariously for some of them? I don't completely understand it, myself. It seems kind of strange to be THAT invested in another person's relationship...

[ Oh if she only knew. ]