video - duck! (not that kind)

[h2no]

Yo! Did you know the world record for most rubber ducks in a section of water is around thirty thousand? They were all gathered up after, not to worry, but there's also a story of a ship that had a shipping container full of 'em that broke and poured them all into the ocean. It helped people track currents all around the world! Apparently they're better at it than buoys, though it was more of a happy coincidence 'cause there's no way you could do somethin' like that ethically. Turns out tracking 350 quintillion gallons of water is pretty hard!

[he claps his hands together then shifts the camera. there is a big pool behind him.]

Anyway! I shan't waste your time with a bunch of oceanography crap-- I have something much better to show those of you laid low by the unlucky port outs of this year. [he turns to look at something off camera.] Crobat! If you will, please!

[those who recognise the noises crobat makes will... well, recognise crobat off-screen. there's some rustling of a tarp, then... rubber ducks. hundreds of them. thousands of them. they stream from somewhere elevated offscreen and into the pool, filling it up relatively quickly. archie keeps the camera focused on it all-- the stream of rubber ducks keeps going for a good minute or so. by the time it finishes, they've completely covered the surface of the pool and some of the area around it.]

That's not even all of them! [archie laughs, off camera.] Wait, there's more!

[a few more rubber ducks roll out, but what's important is archie's wailmer suddenly explodes up from underneath the ducks, settling on top of them with a happy waiiiiiii! bobbing amongst the duckies, she ducks down and blows a huge jet of water up into the air, taking a chunk of the ducks up with it. archie can be heard laughing in the duck rain, then cursing when one of them bounces off his head.]

There she blows! Any'a you people want an armful of ducks? I have over thirteen thousand. Don't ask why!

Comments

[vanto]

I am impressed and horrified at the amount of ducks you have there.

[h2no]

That makes two of us.

[he pans the camera over, showing far, far more ducks.]

This duck rabbit hole only goes ever deeper.

[vanto]

[okay, that's... a lot. eli raises both eyebrows.]

I'm pretty sure you could get lost in there, emerge fifty years later.

video

[continuousgroaning]

[Tina is just watching with her chin in her hands, and- yep- a big smile. She looks happier than she has been, since discovering her mom gone.]

Re: video

[h2no]

[GOOD!!! he made at least one person smile. that made it worth it!

archie doesn't say anything to tina, but he walks closer to wailmer with the camera until her entire face fills up the screen. she snorts happily, recognising tina. facetime with a whale.]

video

[queenofseers]

Archie. You can’t say I can’t ask about the ducks and not expect me to ask about the ducks.

[ What’s up with these ducks? Archie, you gotta tell her about the ducks!! ]

Re: video

[h2no]

It's my secret fourth power. [cass gets the worst smirk out of archie's face.] Duck production. I call it, giving a duck.

video;

[ralltiir]

Wha--

I...

[ No, he has no words. ]

Whose pool did you just infest with duck toys?

Re: video;

[h2no]

That's not important. They won't be home for a while.

[it's just a public pool he rented for the afternoon.]

Unless there's someone sneaking up behind me with a broom?

[hellosirs]

Sir, what... I... how?

[h2no]

Mystery of the ducks!

[he snorts.]

You want some?

video forever

[storyseeker]

Archie, what the hell.

[Honestly, she's impressed, but...what.]

Re: video forever

[h2no]

You don't have to be so upset! It's not like I befouled the pool!

[...

he looks back over to it.]

...Suppose I did in a way...

text;

[kidsmenu]

Are you an adult of your kind? I believe in this world, rubber ducks are regarded as children's toys.

[She is astonished.]

Re: text;

[h2no]

i am, and yet i was left all these ducks by another adult.
sometimes things just work out like this.

permavoice

[earthy]

... What?

[Rubber Duck Guy specifically said not to ask why, but, unless Terra missed it in his daze after seeing so many rubber ducks (and is that a whale??), he put no such restriction on good old what.]

Re: permavoice

[h2no]

[you solved the puzzle, terra! archie just laughs, kicking some of the ducks into the pool for wailmer to enjoy playing with.]

I've been lead to believe by my knowledge of this society and also several BlueTube videos that this would serve as a form of entertainment. I also s'pose if you're taken up by the confusion of what you're seein', you're not thinkin' about your problems. It works on multiple levels. I'm a scientist.

[video]

[cigarbribery]

I think that's another world record. You need to talk to the Guinness people right now, man, you could actually officially set the record for the largest rubber duck collection, if not most rubber ducks in a section of water.

[And then Foggy can gleefully brag to people that he knows the guy who has the world's largest rubber duck collection.]

Also, I want one. I want five.

Re: [video]

[h2no]

I thought about that! But surely the real record collection would go to the person who had those thirty thousand? Ah-- you're welcome to take as many as you want. I'm hardly running out of them.

[THAT SAID: archie is horny for the environment and he's not about to leave a bunch of plastic rubber duckies lying around.]

I was planning to donate them, possibly, amongst several charities and such between the cities. Maybe get some fan and kid-favourite imPorts to pass 'em out or sign 'em or somesuch. Can't really think of anythin' else to do with them, so if you've any suggestions I'm all ears.

Video - OMG, I wonder if there's a rubber duck regata in MoM?

[drivesadesk]

Omg, I want to be in that pool!

possible...........?

[h2no]

With Wailmer or the ducks?

voice;

[dreamprotector]

…I'm not going to ask why. But really, what do you plan to do with all those ducks?

[See, that's not why. But really, Riku isn't sure if he's impressed or just… baffled.]

Re: voice;

[h2no]

Yo again! How's the job?

[ah right the actual question...]

Not sure yet. You want some for the bats?

video;

[consulinchief]

That's... certainly a lot of ducks.

[Way too many ducks, to be precise.]

Re: video;

[h2no]

It's almost... seducktive, is it not?

[hang up on him it's the only way]