maskormenace | 002; VIDEO

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002; VIDEO

[ Finn waves at the video and immediately gets down to business. ]

So, Archie and I have been talking and we’re wanting to get the, uh- Heal Squad? [ He glances off screen then looks back. ] We want to get the Heal Squad together again. Basically, we want it to be a group of imPorts with healing abilities that can get together in case there’s a crisis. So, if you have an ability like that or if you have any medical knowledge at all, we’d be interested in… getting together?

[ He looks off camera again. ] Archie, I have no idea what I’m doing.

[do you think there will be some actual advice, from archie’s end? oh, no. he’s still slightly off camera, and a party horn suddenly blows, hitting finn lightly in the face. archie leans in, still blowing it, big grin on his face.]

That makes two of us, ha! Right, so, some of you might remember when our dearly exPorted Magnus Chase had the idea to gather the imPorts who can actually and are willing to use their healing powers. Be they Porter given or otherwise. Finn an’ I figured that it would probably be an idea to throw that back together, given the constantly rotating nature of this shitshow.

[he gives a big cheesy thumbs up at the camera.] So the plan is the same as before, sound off if you have a power and you’re willing to help, keep this broadcast bookmarked for the names that’ll be noted down that you know you can call if you want ‘em for any reason rather than using the medical services here, and sign a legal document acknowledging none of us are actually doctors! Foggy, that one’s for you!

[ Finn, after jumping and scrubbing at his eyes because of the sudden party horn, now smiles at the camera almost like he’s holding back a laugh. He waves again. ] If there’s any more legal stuff we should look into, feel free to let us know. Thanks, everyone.

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I’m not— [ He breaks off mid sentence because a) yeah he is kind of torturing himself and b) he is a sucker for open displays of affection. So instead he mutters: ] Yeah, you’re one of my best friends too.

[ Reciprocated affection out of the way, he makes a face. ] I don’t know. Okay? I don’t know what good it would do other than put it to rest, because it’s not like not knowing is doing me any fucking favours.

I’m not deflecting, I’m point out that you’re being a fucking hypocrite. I didn’t want one either. Okay? I swore I wouldn’t put myself through it again. And you just fucking fell off my roof, if you want to talk about watching one of your best friends hurt themselves.

It won't put it to rest. All it'll do is make you move onto the next minute detail you want to scrutinize constantly. Do you think Finn notices you doing this? You could be guilt tripping him without even realising you are!

[his hand stays on his face as he pinches his nose.]

That was an accident. Like you and 622 falling for each other, right? You didn't do it out of spite for Finn or to hurt anyone. It just happened.

[ For the first time, Poe looked actively pained. He sucked in a breath and looked away. ]

I know I’m hurting him. I know. Okay? I know. I’m not trying to guilt him, Arch, not a single shred of this is his fault, but he keeps trying to fix it like he—[ He cut off, swallowing. ]

It wasn’t an accident, though. With 622. Was it. The writing was on the wall for months, and if I’d really wanted to stop it, I could have. He wouldn’t have even known that there was anything to miss. I could have just distanced myself and he’d have been none the wiser. But I couldn’t.

You’re just as reckless as I am. The only difference is that you think you can shut it off and just - push people away - as if that makes anything any better. You even push me away, and you know it. Throwing yourself off buildings —

I know I’m not handling things well but neither are you.

Of course you're not. Why would anyone want to do something like that on purpose? Is there a reason why he thinks he has to fix it?

[it's not asked in an accusatory tone.]

And you didn't. Why? You did it because being with him made you happy, right? Why anyone would enter a relationship. You didn't do it thinking that you specifically wanted to spite Finn.

[at least... he figures not! if that was the case then jeez he got poe wrong!!]

I'm not asking you to handle it like someone who's emotionally healthy. I'm asking you to stop purposefully making it worse. I'm asking you to realise that you doing these things to yourself doesn't just affect you and it doesn't just make you miserable.

I don’t know. He blames himself, I think, but- I told him to stop and he just... he wants to fix it, he wants to fix me and I don’t have the heart to keep telling him he can’t.

[ He scrubbed his face. ] Of course I didn’t. I never really believed he’d ever come back. Six months- I thought he was just gone. But six months is barely anything. I could have waited. If... [ He sighed. ]

I don’t even know that I’m doing it when I’m doing it, Arch, I don’t know how I’m supposed to promise that I’ll stop.

You have to. Even though it will hurt both of you. When you both finally come to terms with that, then you can properly start to move on and deal with this new problem.

[he shakes his head.]

No. There's no use spiraling like this. I'm not gonna bother to be the one-hundredth person to tell you to go to therapy that you ignore, but that's the thing! You just gotta be ridiculous about it. If you say something and he looks sad, ask him if you said something that hurt. If he presses on a sore topic too hard, tell him that it's too much for you.

Do you what happened with me and Matt back home? Communication like this was neglected, and we ended up breaking each other. He'll likely never be the same again because of what happened. Don't let it get to that level.

I’ve been trying, but I swear actually talking about it hurts him more. I can see it literally every time.

For the record? I am going to therapy. I’ve been seeing Dr Chilton. I just don’t fucking advertise it, okay?

[ He sighed, scrubbing his face. ] But that’s it, Arch. We’re basically exes who never actually broke up.

... and neither of us wanted to.

Arceus, I can almost hear the vindicated cries of Magnus and Alex beyond the veil.

[and owain, but he knows better than to mention him.]

No-one wants to lose anyone to the Porter. That's just how it is. Sometimes you gotta hurt to clear the air. What's the alternative? Both of you just awkwardly muddling through it and bumping into each other in the fog constantly? Also, remind me why polyamory isn't an option, here?

[ Poe felt his face heat up with a flush. ]

One, because Finn was the one who — the first time we got together he said I had to be all in. And 622...

[ He deflated, a little. ]

He’s never had a relationship before, Arch. He deserves to be able to figure out what he wants, wirhout me steamrolling him intothings he doesn’t. And I can barely manage to keep one person happy.(

No offense, but you've already kinda fucked that one up. That Finn isn't even here anymore! What good is keeping a promise to a man who doesn't even remember he asked you to?

[he makes a face, taking the glass to fiddle with it.]

He's inexperienced, not stupid. I can't imagine he would let you do that, anyway. I've talked to the guy! His will is incredible! [he grunts.] You realise it's not all down to you to keep people happy in a relationship? It's a two-way street?

[ He tried not to look as hurt as he felt, after the first part, piercing his lips. ]

I didn’t say he was stupid.

I said he needs time to figure out what he wants. And most people don’t want the person they’re seeing to be with other people at the same time. So until he tells me otherwise, I don’t want to do something that might hurt him.

Fine, fair enough.

[he narrows his eyes at poe.]

So what about this all in business?

[ Poe sighed, rubbed his eyes. ]

It was all that stuff around Owain. Finn - the other Finn - said that the only way we could - well, you know - was if I was all in. Make a choice, stick to it. Odin or him. No veering off course.

So, I promised I’d be all in. And obviously I fucking failed.

Owain is gone. Finn is gone. It's been almost over a year.

[with more hesitation than anything else in this conversation:] Maybe... it's time to let go of that promise and move on. Instead of using it to self-flagellate.

[ Poe deflated, utterly defeated and not meeting Archie’s eyes. ]

... Yeah.

... He’s gone forever. I know.

Except that he isn’t.

[ He looked back at Archie. ]

If they’re different, then Finn- my Finn - He’s gone. The promise and everything that went wirh it, gone. Erased. Deleted. Whatever you want to call it. Written over.

If he is the same, then I’m- I’m betraying him and he doesn’t even know it. Doesn’t remember making me promise not to.

I don’t know which is worse.

You frame it so negatively. It's like you're trying to move on but holding yourself back and chaining yourself down! You're stuck on this-- it's over. What's so wrong with taking this second chance you've been given?

[he shakes his head.]

I don't see betrayal. I see you behaving in the confines of a dimension that barely exists. As long as you're hung up on this promise, it's going to be a vicious cycle of hating yourself for even having feelings for anyone.

It's hard, Poe. I know it is. But if you could move on and be with 622, then you can move on from that promise.

[ He felt queasy, and it was a long pause before he replied, his voice too quiet: ]

I’m just tired, Arch.

I wanted something to last, for once.

Wanted someone to outlive me.

I know.

[he sighs.]

But if it's causing you this much pain, it's not worth it.

[ That earned Archie a look. ]

If I decided not to do things because I got hurt, I’d never do anything.

But you... you’re right. That it’s hurting other people, too. That, I can’t do.

No-one can suffer alone. No matter how hard you try.

[he cocks his head.]

If this promise makes you hurt and makes people around you hurt and it's not even relevant anymore...

[ He held up a hand. ]

I know. I know, okay?

I’ll let it go.

[ He’d been trying already. ]

[archie closes his eyes lightly for a moment-- he feels some amount of guilt doing this. for the entire conversation. he might've put on a face of having self-righteous anger and desire to help, but he can't help feeling like he's terrible insulting the past finn by doing this, even if he doesn't mean to. it's certainly not out of any desire to have an i told you so over poe, either.

this is awful. it's anxiety-inducing and it's hurting poe so much, especially after what he's been through at home, but he hopes... maybe it'll have something of a good outcome. maybe.

cautiously, archie takes a step towards poe and takes his hand in both of his. gives it a squeeze.]

I'm not doing this because I want something out of it, alright?

Uh huh, I know the truth. Just an elaborate rouse to finally get to jump my bones.

[ It was a weak joke, and Poe sighed, squeezing Archie’s hands. ]

I know, Arch. I know you’re just looking out for me.

Trying.

[he lets go.]

You know you can smack me if I overstep. I won't hit you back. Despite the fact I am very strong and could OHKO you in one hit.

Nah.

[ He takes a steadying breath, and there is a few seconds of silence, before Poe moves again and pulls Archie into a warm, right hug. ]

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h2no - 2019-03-22 22:57 (UTC) - Expand

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