maskormenace | 002

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[Max has been taking it easy the last few weeks, especially as the last month marked an entire year he's been living in an alternate universe. It makes you thoughtful and he knows that, even if he's trying to not get to thoughtful in a negative way. So he chooses to focus on something fun and simple and hopefully not leading to anything tragic.]

Can you believe we're three months into 2019? Back home it was still 2015, so adding a year and three more to my life makes me think I should definitely be legal for drinks by now, right? No? Guess waiting another 18 months it is.

[He's smiling with a shrug like he does not really mind that at all.]

But with the big Four-One a hop, skip, and a weekend away, I was thinking about what we all should be thinking. Pranks. Great pranks.

Tell me about all the best pranks you've done, seen or heard of. I miss the days when me and friends would cover the floor of the kitchens with shaving cream to see if our commander would fall on his ass.

Give me something fun to laugh at on a Friday night, I beseech thee all.

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The best prank my regiment ever pulled involved building a fake dragon out of wicker to scare the piss out of a unit of young, hotshot baaz. We even got the wings to move. We waited until they were passed out drunk, put it in their camp, and they were terrified when they woke up to the sight of it the next morning. One even started praying to it!

[He's started laughing just remembering it.]

None of them noticed the damn thing was fake until some prisoners in the camp got loose, one of them climbed inside it and started speaking through it to cause even more chaos, and it got set on fire.

[Max's eyes are wide for a moment.]

I don't know whether to call you a bad ass or ask if anyone died. Because damn, bruh.

Edited 2019-03-30 10:43 (UTC)

Surprisingly, there weren't any deaths, and the prisoners escaped. I have no idea if they ever got out of that swamp alive, though.

Kinda morbid end to an epic prank.

I hope they didn't, because they ended up making it even better. Those baaz never lived it down.

[Hope they didn't make it out alive??? Wow, bruh. Max doesn't really know how to feel about the way this conversation is going.]

Just how bad were these prisoners?

No, no, I hope they lived. I doubt these prisoners even had what everyone was looking for anyways.

Oh, okay, I get ya now. [Phew. That is awesome to hear.] I'm still amazed no one pegged that dragon as fake. You must have some skill in prop making.

We were engineers, so it wasn't too hard to figure out something that would move. Them being hungover probably helped quite a bit, too.

That's what's up. Ever thought of trying something like that here. I think a lot of people would get a kick out of it.

Building a fake dragon? I'm not sure it'd be a very good idea. A lot of humans haven't reacted well to the few dragon imPorts we've had.

Did that shaving cream thing ever actually work?

Almost! We had to catch him by surprise because he controls gravity, but managed to stop himself late minute.

Didn't manage to stop Converse from crashing into him though and that was hilarious.

I just sorta figured it wouldn't, since like...

[She shrugs.] Did you also try painting a door on a wall?

Ha. I tried to get someone from Epsilon to help out once with that, but they wouldn't go for it. She had the power to bring art to life. We could have had a real door for him to fall through.

[Max wishes that she had given in, but most of the other teams stayed out of Omega's prank wars.]

But shaving cream, especially the gel-based kind is ridic slippery on pristine tile flooring. Perfect for sliding. Except when the guy can fly.

Well according to the old cartoons the point was to get people to walk into the painting. If you made the door real wouldn't that just be like, an extra door?

I mean, you could get him to go "who put that door in here"

Him not knowing what is behind would drive him crazy until he had to open it. We could put anything behind it.

I miss messing with him. He made it so easy.

No not my door, not my problem?

Also, can't you kind of put anything behind any door?

No, he denies it, but the guy is a total nosy body. Has to always know what's up.

Using just any door is boring. Any prank can happen with any door. But upping your game means you got to get creative. An unknown surprise door with something unexpected behind it is a next level prank.

Is it? I feel like an unknown door with something unexpected is less surprising than, say, finding something crazy when you think you're walking into the kitchen.

That's pretty boring since shock pranks are less fun than the act of watching him try to ignore it until he can't anymore. It's the same reason a snake in a can is small fry compared to a mystery box.

Edited 2019-04-01 03:34 (UTC)

It was kind of accidental. We were at a school fair, there was a "Russian Roulette" takoyaki set we ordered. Someone we knew came over and asked to try one and just...picked the obviously spicy one.

He doesn't like spicy food.

[ Haru is giggling hard reading this. ]

Maybe not a prank, but that is the best kind of circumstances. Tell me someone got pictures afterward.

I wish. It did clue us in to the distaste for spicy food though so...I sense the need for an actual prank.

RIGHT. You gotta use that knowledge in the only way that kind of information should be used. Bake him a cake and spice it up.

The perfect betrayal. He likes sweets...

Hopefully he's not listening in right now, because I think we just created the best plan.

I'm sure we can keep him distracted enough so he won't be clued in. The question is, what kind of cake?

Nothing too crazy sweet because that might mask the spice. Something low key that he won't expect.

Hi simple and let the kick of the spice get him.

[And then a stroke of brilliance hits.]
What about coffee cake?

Perfect! And you can even throw in a nice cup of tea or water that has a kick to it when he tries to drink away the burn on his tongue. Tabasco sauce is great for that.

Watch it, we might be heading to evil mastermind territory here. But tabasco sauce...noted.

We promise to only use our genius for innocuous evil.

Just make sure you put some milk into the tea to hide the color, or put it in a cup they won't think to look into immediately when trying to save their mouth from being on fire.

...Fair enough. Innocuous evil.

Good tip about the color though. I might not have thought about that. You must be into this whole pranking thing huh?

You could say I have some experience in the art of the prank war.

I appreciate your expertise. Even if it means my brother won't be speaking to me for a few days...

Ain't that what family's for. Pranks are a right of siblinghood.

oh man so let me tell you about living in a house with six other siblings and the prank wars we would get into

one time we made luther puke by convincing him to eat nearly 50 donuts- and we told him it was an endurance test from dad.

then there was this two weeks we kept hiding one of those creepy dolls around the house in weird places? five would always pop into people's rooms and put it right next to their bed so it was the first thing they saw in the morning

and he blamed ME for it!! :(((

Were they regular donuts or donettes? I can't even eat 50 regular donuts without getting sick, damn.

And you know siblings got that priority where they find a way to blame you for everything. My little brother used to do it all the time.

regular! though mind you we are talking about someone i have seen put away 12 hotdogs in one sitting without even blinking
super strength means super metabolism or something i guess

but no, he was all 'we'll i'm clearly too mature for this, klaus obviously did it'
as if!! that thing definitely had a spirit attached to it no way i was touching that thing

Super-sized stomach too, to hold that much food at once. Damn. I'm almost jealous.

But older siblings blaming you so they can pull pranks is priceless. Sorry for the shit he put you through but I wish I had thought of that with my little brother. Not sure either of my parents would have bought it. I'm a terrible liar.

yeah funny thing about that
we're all actually the same age until time travel got involved

wait
that means i'm second oldest now

Are you a set of quintuplets?

technically no, technically the term is
shit okay i think i looked it up once
whatever 43-lets is

i mean there were 7 of us hargreeveses but 43 from around the world
no idea what happened to the other 36
probably led better childhoods than us the lucky bastards

Edited (icon change sorry ;;;) 2019-04-01 15:16 (UTC)

Glued everything on my roommates side of the room to the ceiling. I found it way funnier than he did.

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