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[5055034455]

[Good morning, Heropa. Greeting you today is a man with a bright smile and an even brighter shirt — aqua, with a tie that seems to match only in theory — and a look in his eye that twinkles with confidence and certainty. Yes, here is a man who is not at all questioning this place and its motives; here is a man who is totally okay with the situation in which he's found himself; here is a man who is a very good, very convincing faker.]

Greetings and salutations, fellow ImPorts! Allow me to introduce myself: Saul Goodman, attorney at law and soon-to-be judge. I want you all to be able to think of me as a resource — as someone whose purpose here is to assist where and when I can, at least as far as legal issues are concerned. For consultation purposes only, though; I won't... uh, really have the time to open my own practice here, unfortunately.

[And that does seem like something that upsets him, but he allows that emotion in for all of two seconds before dismissing it and focusing back on sounding genuine and honest. Which he is, to some degree. It's just... kind of rare, is all. But this is what happens when you don't want to upset your kidnappers: You do what you think you have to.]

Anyway, I'm gonna have to spend some time catching up on what's actually going on in this place, legally and politically speaking. There are other lawyers and legal professional-types around, right? We should chat. Oh, and for all you daytime TV-watchers —

[THERE THEY ARE. THE FINGERGUNS.]

Get used to seeing this face.

Comments

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[5055034455]

Like Judge Judy, but prettier.

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[screenplays]

If you say so.

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[5055034455]

Interested in watching?

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[screenplays]

I watch everything eventually. Interest doesn't really have anything to do with it.



Unless it's a medical drama.

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[5055034455]

Does boredom?

And oh man does that mean you watched ER? Tell me you watched ER.

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[screenplays]

No, I just watch everything.

Of course I've watched ER. But Nurse Whitney is my favorite.

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[5055034455]

Literally everything?

Also: ?

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[screenplays]

Yeah. That's why I've got more than one screen.

Guess you don't have that where you're from.

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[5055034455]

Wait, you're serious?

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[screenplays]

Yeah?

[5055034455]

Don't you have a job? A life?

[screenplays]

I'm a screenwriter. But there's nothing wrong with watching TV.

[ Most people don't watch as much TV as Thundercracker does, however. ]

[5055034455]

Ohhhh OK. That makes sense. What kinds of things do you write?

[screenplays]

Medical dramas. I'm currently working on one about a woman named Susan Journeyer who's just starting her first day at a new hospital.

[5055034455]

Ah. Are these things that generally get picked up by networks, or are we talking more of a hobby?

[screenplays]

I almost have an agent.

[5055034455]

That's pretty cool. You ever consider moving to LA? If that's still where the movie magic happens. IDK how different this version of America is from mine, so

[What a weird thought.]

[screenplays]

Television screenplays. So I'd have to go to Vancouver, that's where people make TV now. And movies.

[5055034455]

No kidding? What happened to Hollywood?

[screenplays]

Too expensive. Why pay more for the same quality?

[5055034455]

Huh. Fair point. So what's Hollywood now?

[screenplays]

Action movies. Things that don't have heart and meaning.

[5055034455]

Excuse me, have you never seen Die Hard?