maskormenace | 001

[Good morning, Heropa. Greeting you today is a man with a bright smile and an even brighter shirt — aqua, with a tie that seems to match only in theory — and a look in his eye that twinkles with confidence and certainty. Yes, here is a man who is not at all questioning this place and its motives; here is a man who is totally okay with the situation in which he's found himself; here is a man who is a very good, very convincing faker.]

Greetings and salutations, fellow ImPorts! Allow me to introduce myself: Saul Goodman, attorney at law and soon-to-be judge. I want you all to be able to think of me as a resource — as someone whose purpose here is to assist where and when I can, at least as far as legal issues are concerned. For consultation purposes only, though; I won't... uh, really have the time to open my own practice here, unfortunately.

[And that does seem like something that upsets him, but he allows that emotion in for all of two seconds before dismissing it and focusing back on sounding genuine and honest. Which he is, to some degree. It's just... kind of rare, is all. But this is what happens when you don't want to upset your kidnappers: You do what you think you have to.]

Anyway, I'm gonna have to spend some time catching up on what's actually going on in this place, legally and politically speaking. There are other lawyers and legal professional-types around, right? We should chat. Oh, and for all you daytime TV-watchers —

[THERE THEY ARE. THE FINGERGUNS.]

Get used to seeing this face.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[amazing.]

So what's your catch-phrase going t' be?

Well, it used to be "better call Saul," but that won't really work anymore. If I were hosting a radio talk show, maybe, but...

Bu-ut, now we're getting the image and the voice. Shame t' waste that. You didn't really have a radio show before all this, did you?

[Saul laughs.] No, no. I had my own practice back home. I had plenty of ads on the radio and TV —

[and matchbooks and pens and shirts and and and]

So this won't be all that new.

Right.

[sort of a pity that radio shows are a thing of the past, but then again tv is pretty great. so it's just a momentary sad little thought rather than anything greater.]

Seems like whoever's handing out the jobs is either trying t' match old jobs as close as they can, or they try and have a sense of humour about it. Lucky for you that they were going for the match, in your case.

Well...

[He's not so sure about that. It's clear whoever's in charge of this has a sense of humor, but Saul finds it hard to believe there weren't any criminal defense attorney positions open.

Best not to bite the hand that feeds you, though, mm?]

Close enough.

Yeah. Well, beggars, choosers, you know that old line. If you're totally happy, they're doing something wrong.

[the mildest resistance speech ever.]

You could always take a switch, get a new job. But why lose your chance at daytime TV fame?

[That's comforting, except it's not.]

Yeah, that's what I'm thinkin'. Daytime Emmys, here I come!

[Unless they don't exist.]

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