maskormenace | 001

[Good morning, Heropa. Greeting you today is a man with a bright smile and an even brighter shirt — aqua, with a tie that seems to match only in theory — and a look in his eye that twinkles with confidence and certainty. Yes, here is a man who is not at all questioning this place and its motives; here is a man who is totally okay with the situation in which he's found himself; here is a man who is a very good, very convincing faker.]

Greetings and salutations, fellow ImPorts! Allow me to introduce myself: Saul Goodman, attorney at law and soon-to-be judge. I want you all to be able to think of me as a resource — as someone whose purpose here is to assist where and when I can, at least as far as legal issues are concerned. For consultation purposes only, though; I won't... uh, really have the time to open my own practice here, unfortunately.

[And that does seem like something that upsets him, but he allows that emotion in for all of two seconds before dismissing it and focusing back on sounding genuine and honest. Which he is, to some degree. It's just... kind of rare, is all. But this is what happens when you don't want to upset your kidnappers: You do what you think you have to.]

Anyway, I'm gonna have to spend some time catching up on what's actually going on in this place, legally and politically speaking. There are other lawyers and legal professional-types around, right? We should chat. Oh, and for all you daytime TV-watchers —

[THERE THEY ARE. THE FINGERGUNS.]

Get used to seeing this face.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Don't mention it. Hopefully, that'll at least get you on the right track.

Here's hoping.

[Isaac doesn't say anything for a moment, but then something occurs to him.]

Hey, this might seem a little weird but...what year is it where you came from?

2010.

[It's a little weird, but it's not something that Saul sounds too puzzled by. He gets the time travel-kidnapping thing. Sort of.]

That seems to be a pretty popular time period. [Or at least close to it with the people Isaac has spoken with since he arrived here.] It's, uh, 2514 where I come from.

2514? Damn.

[Saul leans forward, chin on his hand. Yes, he's interested.]

So what's up in the 26th century?

Nothing good, except we can regrow body parts. I guess that's cool. And we can travel to different star systems.

[It's all common place to him, so it's hard for him to say whether it's amazing or not.]

Whoa.

[Isaac might not be amazed, but Saul is.]

How's that work? Is it just, like, in our DNA now?

What? No...we're not lizards. We can grow replacement parts and have them transplated.

[With no small tinge of disappointment:] Oh.

[He was totally thinking they were like lizards.]

That's still convenient, I guess. Any parts?

No one's been able to regrow a brain, but eyes, fingers, limbs, stuff like that? Yeah.

Huh. Neat. And so I guess traveling to different star systems means we finally made it off Earth?

Billions of people still live there, but we've colonized other planets we've found, terraformed some of them.

Wow. How long did it take us to finally get our act together? And I'm using "us" here loosely, because my guess is that I won't live long enough to see my version of Earth accomplish such a feat. If ever.

[Faith in humanity: Not very high.]

I don't know. A couple hundred years, but that was a couple hundred years ago.

Well, good to know it's possible, at least.

You...haven't landed on the moon where you're from?

Yeah, but that's the moon. I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure that's closer than... everything else.

Well, sure, but...what about Mars?

We've sent, uh, robots. Rovers? Whatever. No people yet, though.

Wow. See, we colonized Mars over a hundred years ago. It's...a pretty booming metropolis at this point.

[Saul makes a bit of a face. Like, gee, how great for YOU guys.]

I guess my version of Earth hasn't seen the necessity for that yet.

No, probably not. Can you still eat the native fish in your world, like here?

[Hesitantly:] Yeah...

[Why does he have the feeling he knows what's coming?]

Yeah. We're not so lucky in the future.

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