maskormenace | 2nd 💀 Video; Backdated to 7/4

[When the video clicks on, the viewers are greeted with several faces in a shady area—or maybe it's just not particularly sunny despite being mid-afternoon. Either way, two of those faces most will be familiar with, but especially one in particular: Darin's. Though, his is bloodied and bruised, as if someone wailed on him with their fists. Actually, it looks like that's exactly what happened. He's also notably unconscious—his head being held up by Guzma (the other familiar face), whose fist is full of Darin's hair to do so. He also looks pretty damn smug—if not downright delighted—to a degree that's a little worrying.

The others in view are decidedly less human. In fact, they aren't at all—above Darin hangs a red and black spider, staring at the camera with large purple eyes full of interest and curiosity towards it. He seems to be keeping himself up on what looks like thick webbing that's hanging down from somewhere and connects to Darin... because Darin has been wrapped up in web. A partial cocoon covering his torso and arms. Curiously, there's blood on Darin beyond his busted face—soaking through the webbing that's around him. Awesome!

Next is a moth-like Pokémon, who seems fit to hide most of his body behind that arm of Guzma's that's holding Darin's head up. His little face peeking up over it to look into the camera as well. To the right of him is a hulking bug that looks similar to an isopod if it was on roids. He's got weird cross shaped white pupils, and unlike the other two who seem both interested and excited to be on camera, he holds himself far more reserved and stoic. More like a threatening backdrop to the whole thing.

The last member of this shitty sadistic selfie is a brown beetle-like monster the size of a child, who stands directly besides Darin. His eyes are wide and intense, almost hostile, as he stares at the camera. This hostility is only further emphasized by the obvious blood on the spikes of his pincers.

...And then a second later Pinsir fucking dabs, without breaking eye contact with the camera. As if the idiot bug even knows what the gesture means, but he's seen people do it, and they were on camera too! It makes sense to him. Guzma doesn't seem to mind. He doesn't comment on it, he might not have even noticed, honestly.

He's got more important matters to address:]

Listen up, idiots! It's ya boy again, and I'm here with a special message, a PSA, of sorts, yo.

[He glances to Darin, who is still very much so knocked out, before looking back into the feed. That sinister smirk still on his face.]

Just in case any of you rotten upstarts was under the absurd impression that big bad Guzma was a dude to cross, take it from poor Darin here: I ain't. You mess with me, and I'll crush you, just like I did him.

[As Guzma talks, he's swaying Darin's head side to side by the hold he has on his hair.]

This idiot thought he could stand up to me, that he could beat me down. Hell, in some warped sense of heroic idiocy, he even thought he could help me, HA! Some stupid soft shit like that—and where did it get him!? [Guzma lets go of his hair, letting Darin's head fall emphatically into a hanging position.] No where good, I can tell ya that much.

Your boy still stands, but this loser sure ain't, huh?

[Guzma gives Darin a good little spin as he walks away from the scene with the camera still pointed at himself. The spin, and the more Darin comes into view it's clear he's being suspended by that web that's wrapped around him. However, with that little crowd taking up less of the background, viewers can get more of an idea of where this little broadcast is happening: in an alleyway. Somewhere.

Super helpful!]

Consider this fair warning, y'all. I won't be handing out another.

[He lowers the communicator, making the camera view him from below as he's about to cut the feed, his hand hovering as he stares down at it for a moment as something occurs to him:]

—Oh, yeah. Those of you who give a damn and wanna clean that mess up, [he gestures over his shoulder towards Darin with his thumb, even though he's currently blocking the view of him,] he's in Maurtia Falls. Somewhere on the east side. Never been too good at giving directions, but I'm sure you hero-types can figure it out.

Later days, y'all!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Just the kinda guy I am, yo.

[He doesn't seem bothered, in fact, he seems pretty energized by this whole thing.]

I was this well liked back home, too. Some things never change, it seems.

[ Somehow, she's not at all surprised. ]

Sure, Johnny Garlic, that was definitely my first impression: that you were a real charmer.

Props for going all big and public.

...It's Guzma.

[HE... doesn't get it. But it's fine, he moves on quickly enough.]

What can I say? I got a thing for public speakin'. If y'don't do something to keep your audience captive, well. Ya already failed, huh?

Yes, we've established that.

[ Just because she knows his name doesn't mean she's going to be using it anytime soon. Poor kid doesn't have a clue what she's getting at, but hey, that just kind of makes it all the more fun for her. ]

See, I've always been more of a leave a calling card kind of girl, myself -- the myth, the legend, etcetera, etcetera. Yadda, yadda, yadda. I prefer a bit of anonymity.

[That just earns her a narrowed eye stare for a second, but he leaves it well enough alone.]

Definitely not my style, not that it ain't got its purposes, admittedly. I want people to know it's me. Otherwise, what's the point?

[It's for his ego, basically.]

I don't know, it seems like there's quite a few people who want to kick your ass right about now. Local law enforcement probably won't be too thrilled, either, but-- [ She shrugs. ] Hey, you do you, Grocery Games.

[He stares at her for a second. Just pausing as he tries to make sense of the reference, but it doesn't happen. She's just spewing nonsense, and he wonders if it's some attempt to be funny, like some kinda joke he's supposed to be getting, but the punchline isn't there...]

...Anyway, that was my aim. Shit was a little too quiet. Needed a little excitement, and what's a few chucklefucks to beatdown? I ain't bothered.

Mission accomplished.

So what did this guy do to deserve...? [ She squints, trying to get another look at whatever's going on in the background there. ] whatever... that is...

Pissed me off.

[He offers flatly. As if he was stating basic facts.]

Poke a Beedrill nest, y'gonna get stung. Plain and simple.

Uh-huh. [ Makes sense to her! ] But just so we're clear and for future reference? If you ever try that kind of thing on me, I'll cut you into ribbons and leave you dangling off a very tall building. Just so we're clear.

[ And it's said in just about the most polite, charming tone ever, too! Big smile. ]

[That gets an amused huff outta him, he doesn't seem threatened or even bothered at all.]

I can't see you pissin' me off like he did, he's a special kinda stupid.

[a beat]

But, that does make me curious of what all you can do, and how much of that is frontin'.

[Look, he can appreciate a strong lady, alright?]

[ Of course he does, who wouldn't? Only a weak man finds issue with a strong woman and he's an idiot, sure, Selina tends to view most people as idiots, but she can tell he's not that stupid. Selina smiles, catlike, all bright eyed. Playful. ]

Well. Maybe one day you might get lucky enough to see what all I can do.

[Exactly, Guzma's no slouch. He knows strength, and knows that something silly like gender doesn't hinder one's ability to obtain it.]

Oh yeah?

[he huffs with amusement]

Guess here's to hoping luck favors me, huh?

I figure it's only a matter of time until our paths cross. I think you'd just better hope that you'll be able to keep up with me.

[ Not many people can, in her experience, and if they manage to in one respect that rarely carries over. She's a full-on relay race. ]

And maybe try not to get into too much trouble before then.

2nd 💀 Video; Backdated to 7/4

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