video;

[pocketfulof]

[The video opens up on a very unamused looking Will Solace.]

So. Back from camp--definitely different herding a bunch of regular kids instead of demigods. Less stabbiing and limb loss...But I'm back and, apparently, we have a new local chain.

[Cue a camera pan up above Will's head where one can make out a sign that reads 'Tiny Caligula's Italian Pizzeria. ]

I have some concerns.

Comments

video;

[rebelhealer]

What kind of concerns?

[He's not up on his ancient Roman history.]

[pocketfulof]

Caligula was a horrible emperor. Restored treason trials, put people to death...all of that.

[rebelhealer]

I see.

[A bit like Meredith, then.]

Probably not a good name for an eatery, then, no.

[pocketfulof]

Yeah, definitely not. At least it wasn't Nero. He watched Rome burn, allegedly.

[rebelhealer]

He sounds like a charming fellow.

[The snark is strong with this one.]

My world also had some pretty horrible Emperors.

[pocketfulof]

Oh, Rome has a never-ending list of charming emperors.

I mean...there's a reason Praetorian guards and senators have stabbed some in the past.

[So much stabbing.]

So uh...how bad are yours?

[rebelhealer]

They must have been really bad for that to have happened.

In Thedas, there was Emperor Drakon, who is responsible for the Templars and Circles existing, as well as a massive campaign to see all of Thedas under his rule.

[He's sure the current Empress is a piece of work too, but he knows very little about her.]

[pocketfulof]

You don't know the half of it. Fascinating stuff.

But uh...wow on your end. I think when people try to do the whole "rule the world" thing, there tend to be problems.

[rebelhealer]

He's pretty much responsible for all the oppression that goes on in my world, even today, long after he died.

[pocketfulof]

That tends to be how things go with these dictators.

video;

[goodtobebad]

[ Ohhhh that sounds like something Crowley would've come up with. Damn whoever thought of it first! ]

It's not authentic if they don't offer orgies three nights a week.

[pocketfulof]

Uh. Yeah, no thanks on that one.

[goodtobebad]

Not a fan of the Roman way of doing things, then?

Of course, pizza is basically American.

[pocketfulof]

Not always, no. Kind of comes with being a Greek demigod...[Always best to get that one out of the way right out the gate.]

His history doesn't make me keen on the whole idea of doing things his way anyway.

[goodtobebad]

Oh fun, there used to be a lot of those running around, back in the day.

[ Crowley grins a little. ]

Caligula definitely knew how to throw a party, though there were too many horses invited for my taste.

[pocketfulof]

There's a lot of us running around now, where I'm from.


...Parties and murder. Definitely a mix.

[goodtobebad]

That's fascinating. So you've got all those gods - just real, and messing about with humans?

video;

[ambasciatore]

Let me go find the worlds smallest fiddle to play.

Please tell me there's a rival pizza chain involving Nero.

[pocketfulof]

Do we...do we really want to see that?

I guess they could specialize in stone-fired pizza.

Text

[by_candlelight]

If Caligula is so tiny, how does he reach the oven? [ Thinking Emoji. ]

[pocketfulof]

This sounds like the set up to a really bad joke...

[by_candlelight]

Even better. It's a shitpost.

[pocketfulof]

Amazing. You got any other zingers up your sleeve?

[by_candlelight]

That depends. How amenable are you to dick jokes about long dead emperors?

[pocketfulof]

Go for it. Where I'm from he's not exactly uh...dead. Unfortunately.

[by_candlelight]

I am totally not comfortable with making dick jokes about long not-dead emperors.

Gotta ask. How's the dude not dead?

[lesterzeppelin]

[ It takes Apollo a while to reply to this, and when he does, it's with a world-weary sigh- ]

Too soon, sonshine.

[pocketfulof]

I uh...sorry? I didn't exactly put this up myself.

[lesterzeppelin]

I know you didn't. [ The memories of Caligula are still too fresh, even six months later. His expression softens - ] Heck of a 'welcome back' present, huh?

[pocketfulof]

Kind of a rude "welcome back" present.

[lesterzeppelin]

Not the first time mortals got their myths wrong. [ he manages a grin, because he's more relieved to see Will safe than anything, ] Now, I think I owe you more than a few family dinners?

Video

[stlg13bomber]

Isn't that...isn't that the Roman guy who did all that weird stuff? [He remembers some pulp novels that he sorta wished he hadn't read that went into detail about Caligula. And his wives and girlfriends and mistresses and such.]

Video

[pocketfulof]

That's one way to put it. Weird or violent, his two M.O.s

Re: Video

[stlg13bomber]

Which isn't what you want in a pizza.

Video

[pocketfulof]

Definitely not.