Anonymous

[loyal_soldier]

[Posted at about 3 AM]

What do you do to fix yourself when your brain might be broken?

Especially if you're not from Earth. Their standards for proper behavior don't apply.

Comments

action

[flightforfreedom]

[ He hasn't been sleeping well. Of course he hasn't. His body has become almost hyper aware of every movement 622 makes during the night, pulling him out of whatever sleep he was managing to get whenever he instinctively noticed that 622 was awake. It didn't take much. The subtle shift of the man's breathing, a stillness... Whatever it was that had woken him, Poe knew it was because 622 was awake, too.

He didn't really do anything at first, though. He waited, pretending he was asleep, to see if 622 would get up, or if he would try to keep sleeping, instead. When he found the minutes dragging on, but 622 still awake and unmoving, Poe resigned himself to being awake for a while.

The fact that he used the neural link to mentally check the network was less out of any bright idea and more out of something to do while he lay there.

The anon post was the last thing posted - only a couple of minutes before hand - and it was...

Well. It really, really wasn't anon.

His heart wrenched as he lay there, but he didn't know how to answer. It was something he'd been trying to solve for weeks, to no avail. What could he possibly say now?

He lay there in silence for several long seconds, turning it over uselessly in his mind, trying to figure out something to say that would help. But he couldn't think of a damn thing. So he gave up.

Instead, he quietly rolled over, as if moving in his sleep, and wrapped his arms around 622's waist, pressing his face against the man's side, hugging him tightly. ]

Re: action

[loyal_soldier]

[It took a few moments before he realized why things didn't feel right anymore: Poe's breathing had changed. They weren't really touching, but he could still feel it through the mattress, the blankets, and he was wired to pay attention to these small signs.

He lay there for a while, trying to decide if he should pretend to be asleep, or engage.

Then Poe moved, still quiet, turning over to hug him.

He wrapped his arms around Poe, careful and slow. He knew Poe was awake, but...

He tapped Poe lightly on the back with a finger, just once. If he wanted to engage, then they would. But otherwise he'd stay silent.]

[hatestrashcans]

Depends on how it's broken.

text, anonymous;

[loyal_soldier]

Complicated. Some things happened, brain might be reacting badly. Combat stress isn't going away like normal.

[mysterioisthetruth]

If you mean emotionally, I may have an answer for you.

text, anonymous;

[loyal_soldier]

Maybe. Any techniques might help.

text: un: usuk

[mofi]

wat r u going to do?
tell them to get over it

text; UN:Oracle

[codeoracle]

What do you mean by broken?

For me, it was a change in cognition--the way I thought about the world, what I saw as truth. It can be a conscious change or one brought on you. That is the job of the Phantom Thieves. A Change of Heart.

private text; anonymous

[loyal_soldier]

I had brain surgery to remove a foreign object from my head. I've been unable to function properly since then.

[But that's not entirely true.]

There were some symptoms I'd managed to overcome before, but the surgery brought them back.

[Most of what this Oracle's saying sounds like untrustworthy nonsense, but he's willing to hear out nearly anything at this point.]

Phantom Thieves?

text; username renders as 🌙︎︎

[dragony]

Are you human?

text; anonymous

[loyal_soldier]

Technically.

[Text]

[sleight_of_hand]

Therapy.
Lots of therapy.

Also booze, but therapy is healthier.

Re: [Text]

[loyal_soldier]

Therapy isn't an option. Especially from Earth natives, their goals aren't compatible.

[ID: Anonymous] TEXT▸

[catlady]

Booze.
Lots of booze.

The guy up there's right, therapy is healthier but booze is cheaper.

Re: [ID: Anonymous] TEXT▸ [ maskormenace - 1150371

[loyal_soldier]

I don't drink. And Earth therapy isn't an option.

text: un: usuk

[mofi]

theirs no fixing that kind of shit

[ No, he really can't tell the difference between their, there and they're. Murphy's a little bit illiterate. ]

text, anonymous;

[loyal_soldier]

There are approved techniques. They worked before.

[aberrant_type]

Start learning lots of new skills! Learning enough new things makes you into a different person and gives you more ideas of how to approach things and more ways to cope. It can't be beat!!!

[loyal_soldier]

I can adapt to a new situation, but I can't become a different person. That's not an option.


But I appreciate your enthusiasm

[psychophilia]

whose to say whats broke

text, anonymous;

[loyal_soldier]

Me. Also my job. I've been taken off normal duties.

text

[knaval]

depends on if u really wanna get better or stick with the same old familiar pain m8
sometimes it means doin somethin new n scary

text, anonymous;

[loyal_soldier]

I want to get better. But I don't want to become what Earth people think is a healthy human.

[hadthehighground]

I suppose it depends on how it's broken.

For me, meditation has always been the means for settling the mind.

[loyal_soldier]

[...No. He's not responding to the Jedi. Not when none of them bothered to tell Rex or him about the control chips. Their presence was the whole reason he'd been scared enough to get brain surgery, and now he's worried it might've permanently damaged him in the process.

And if he responded as angrily as he feels, it'd be clear who he is. So he doesn't, taking a deep, unsteady breath and setting the comm unit down.]

text

[stlg13bomber]

You should go to a doctor, maybe. They have real good ones here. I have a friend who might be having some trouble with it but I'm not sure...hard to tell when people are from other planets, you know?

text; anonymous

[loyal_soldier]

[Oh.

Not owning up who he is immediately doesn't come naturally, but... he has to ask.]

Why do you think your friend might be in trouble?

text

[onlydoubts]

Take up a hobby. Don't be afraid to ask for help from your friends.

Get a dog.

[ he's not joking about that last bit... ]

[text]

[topmeup]

Find someone you can trust to take what you're saying seriously. Just because Earth is different doesn't mean everyone around here will ignore it.

Make sure you write out what's different to you about yourself and why. Mental health is big on self-reporting. If you aren't being honest, there's not much they can do for you.

text, anonymous;

[loyal_soldier]

[It doesn't sound like advice he can necessarily take, but it's presented earnestly enough that he should respond anyway.]

Thank you for the advice, but I'm not sure how far I can go with it. There are certain assumptions that always hold true for Earth natives in my situation which don't apply to me. I've encountered resistance to normal parts of what I am, and I don't want those things 'cured'.

I will attempt to document things, however. [That he can do without running into the egregious disconnect between his upbringing and natural-born humans.]

[plentystrong]

how do you break your brain

i get limbs but brains?

[loyal_soldier]

Something may be physically or chemically wrong in my brain. I don't know how to make it stop.

[am_i_a_monster]

I can help fix other people that are broken. Not myself.

I did have a therapist that helped once. That only worked because he was the right therapist. Others were bad.

First, you need to figure out if your brain is broken or if you're just different.

text, anonymous;

[loyal_soldier]

How can you do that?

Therapists aren't appropriate for me. There are a number of reasons, but most of all I don't have a compatible background with Earth human expectations. The local idea of 'normal' is very different than it is for me.

text.

[goldtoxicity]

I meditate.
If you can take a trip away from everything then do that.