video;

[fursleuth]

[For those of you who haven't seen the cute electric mouse-thing in the deerstalker hat, this message is gonna be a shock to you, and Pikachu knows it.]

Yeah, hi. Let's get this out of the way before I get to the serious stuff. Yes, I am adorable. No, you may not pet me or smother me in affection until after the apocalypse is over. I got massive amounts of crap to do, gang. I can't have these distractions. Bad enough there's super crazy, super-powerful Pokemon running around. And zombies... But like seriously? The Ultra Beasts thing? Is that still a problem? Never mind. Not important right now. Bigger things.

[He seems to be broadcasting from on top of a table and as he moves, you can see a whiteboard behind him with a lot of hastily scrawled notes like SPIDER CHURCH??? and TWINS= NOT LITERAL??? as well as a copy of the completed code that everyone received right in the middle in the worst handwriting you've ever seen. LOOK HAVE YOU SEEN HIS TINY HANDS???

Pikachu, meanwhile, is picking up a coffee cup and once he has it, he returns to the frame.] So we all know the whistleblower is probably not blowing smoke up our asses. That's a thing we know we can believe. As far as anything else... We're on our own. I got the same notes nearly everyone else has and a lovely dane has already offered to spill those deets, so I'm not gonna steal her thunder. [He snorts like that's some big pun.

Because it is.] But seriously... I think the answer to our problems is in this. [He gestures to the whiteboard, indicating the full code.] This is the big deal right here, and those of us who ain't big on giving the big one-two punch to the bad guys are gonna need to focus up on it. I need my people on this- yeah, I'm talking to you, detective crew. Y'all were great. We had some good times solving this, but now we're in the big leagues.

[He drains the coffee cup, tosses it aside and picks up another from offscreen.] And we need some people to look into this spider church thing. Do some reconnaissance. Maybe do the whole wig-and-disguise thing and pretend to be cultists. I dunno. I'm not a spy, but I'm sure some of you are. I'm just tossing ideas out here... Wait. Is this line secure? Forget I said any of that.

[He coughs.] The point is, we gotta take our big brains and throw down, 'cause I'm pretty sure our only hope is getting all these gods together. [He slurps his coffee, weirdly nonchalant.] Trust me... This is like normal in my world. Bringing gods together to save the world? Always works... Except when it's actually what causes the end of the world, but I'm at least 89% sure that's not the case here.

Comments

[continuousgroaning]

[Tina has nothing useful to add, but around 30 minutes after this post, Pikachu will get a delivery of some more coffee and filters from Tacksy Gourmet and a note: "Brain fuel. Love, Tina."]

[fursleuth]

[TINA, YOU BEAUTIFUL ANGEL.]

[made_up_names]

[ That’s a real live Pikachu isn’t it. He sort of skips over the part where this Pikachu is trying to figure out how to stave off the end of the world and gets stuck on the Pokémon are real part. Never mind he’s totally met some Pokémon trainers. This is 100% different. ]

I - Uh -

[ Don’t be rude, people hate having that fictional thing pointed out - ]

Should you be drinking that much coffee?

[fursleuth]

It's brain fuel. Take it up with my secretary. [Tina is now his secretary.] I need to stay sharp, kid.

[Video]

[detectivedwloki]

We made progress and I'm gathering all the information I can about these Fates, but we're definitely not out of the woods yet. I'll do what I can.

[fursleuth]

Anything not in the big hunkin' casefiles? I've got notes upon notes, but they're mostly Greek to me- like... Literally Greek. This is not mythology I'm used to.

[hatestrashcans]

I'm a fantastic spy.

[fursleuth]

Excellent. Tangentially related, do you know any twins? Or, even better, two Imports with the exact same power set? 'Cause I'm thinkin' maybe this twin thing? Not so literal.

audio;

[dragony]

[ ... ]

... If you're serious about sending someone to pretend to be a cultist, I have some robes you can borrow.

[fursleuth]

Because that's amazing, I'm not gonna ask you how you got those. Molly seems like he's totally into the whole recon thing.

/threadjacks hello

[viciousmaukery]

Have they got room for horns in those hoods?

[justaddh2o]

But after it's over, we can pet you?

( No, that's not her whole takeaway, but she needs to get the best part out of the way. )

What if they don't want to come together, though? Then what? We have to have a plan B, yeah?

[fursleuth]

If we don't die in the apocalypse, dollface, I will set up a petting booth.

[He paws at his face.] We hope somebody here can tell the crazy goddess not to destroy this world?

[atypically]

What the fuck is this place?

[ Man, he wishes Adam was here, no one is ever going to believe him when he tries to explain this to people when he gets home. Zombies, talking pokemon? What the fuck. ]

[fursleuth]

The word "pre-apocalyptic" springs to mind.

[IS NOW THE TIME, FRIEND??]

anon text;

[pillz]

[oh no. this is deplorable, and kavinsky doesn't even like cute things.]

great minds.

[fursleuth]

oh ho ho. that's twisty.

[He's gonna ignore all that talk about willing baby sacrifice.]

But here's the crazy thing- why just two? There's three goddesses. Is Clotho just the sister nobody likes in this scenario?

[video]

[viciousmaukery]

I can do some recon. If anyone else wants to come along, I won’t say no.

[A beat.]

...how much coffee have you had already?

[fursleuth]

I know a lady with access to cultist robes.

...] Why does no one here trust that I know what I'm doing with my caffeine intake?

[arithmethodical]

[ Jess can't help but smile at his initial declaration. She needs the smile. ]

Narcissist. [ SHE KIDS, SHE KIDS. ] It's nice to see a non-human sentient around here.

[ More to the point: ]

Do you think there's a version of this where we don't have to give two people up to immeasurably powerful beings?

[fursleuth]

Hate the obsession, not the object of the obsession. [He beams. Which does not help make him less cute. Even sounding like Ryan Reynolds doesn't help that.

The smug expression deflates.]

That I don't know. I wanna think there is and that maybe we can find some nice, safer alternatives to the big prophecy nonsense. Also, I'm still a little skeptical about how in none of this I've heard so far seems to mention that there's a third sister.

Voice, private

[by_candlelight]

I can communicate with animals. While they're not going to be able to give me a word for word of conversations, it means I can get into places using them to lead the way and as distractions.

[fursleuth]

...Wow. You know, I never thought about that, and I can do that, too. I really never utilize that the way I oughta. That means we've got twice the informants. Good idea.

Video;

[pidgewidgeon]

I have a robot lion who can shoot lasers and turn invisible. If you need a spy she's pretty good at it.

[fursleuth]

And that guy at Aegis said no one would ever willingly volunteer to be a spy. Do you think she can get into any OTO-affiliated places or is that reaching? We're talkin' about an invisible lion here.

Voice, posted on the 7th

[by_candlelight]

I've been thinking. After going over a bunch of posts on the network I realised something. If they do need the twins to control the goddesses, then maybe that's why there are only the mentions of two of them. If they have Lachesis then they can theoretically move to other worlds, possibly giving themselves whatever powers they want in the process. If they have Atropos they can theoretically kill whoever they want, and not just imPorts.

[fursleuth]

Oh ho ho. You're onto something there, kid. Looks like you got a little detective in you.

Clotho just doesn't have that kind of clout- also? Way harder to find triplets. She's not included, because they don't need her powers.

[drivesadesk]

Oh, I'm good at the whole wig-and-disguise thing. Actually, I've gone to some cult meetings in my skin suit before. I'd blend right in.

[fursleuth]

There's so many things in that sentence that alarm and delight me. You're in, my man.

video;

[bifroster]

I'm not the best at spying, but I can be a distraction while others do their thing. I can be annoying and persistent enough to draw attention from multiple areas.

[And she can lift people up and be a general annoyance if it comes to that.]

I've also been doing my best to gather data and come up with a plan should a portal or the like comes up.

[Like a replication of a machine she used to stop the last apocalypse in her home world. She feels dumb for not making it earlier, but hey, she can now amplify her powers through it. Yay!]

[fursleuth]

I love a person who can turn being persistent and irritating into a superpower- that's a compliment, by the way.

[he breathes a sigh of relief.] Awesome. Because the science side of these shenanigans make zero sense to me. I'm a detective, not a physicist, dammit. That ain't my division.