THE MAJORITY REPORT: NOVEMBER 10TH, 2019

[maskormods]

THE MAJORITY REPORT: NOVEMBER 10TH, 2019as we know it

HOLD ON TO YOUR B...REAKING NEWS
As seen in major news outlets and social media:

The National Guard and various other branches of the military have deployed units to help protect people until the recent spate of dimensional distortions resolves. Citizens are advised to keep their devices charged and call 911 in the event of an emergency

Additionally, the mayors of all imPort cities issued a joint statement thanking heroes for their tireless work during this crisis. Despite this, some disgruntled citizens have taken to the net to criticize the imPort population for not doing more or somehow being responsible for the incidents, with imPort-supportive and -critical posts briefly trending on Bwitter.

THE RED WEB MENACE
As seen on BlueTube:

Circulating and gathering attention on BlueTube is a recent video of the imPort known as Spider-Man committing a string of petty thefts. Witnesses confirm that throughout the Porter cities, this menace has been frightening locals with his antics, climbing up walls and leaping down from above on a strange webbing, and snatching purses from old ladies. It has been cited as a factor in the slight uptick of anti-imPort sentiment, withcries from the general public for this red-suited arachnid to be arrested. The video shows these crimes in progress, filmed in various locations by local residents who want this imPort identified and caught before they cause even more harm and progress to worse crimes.

THAT'S MORE AMORE
As seen on social media and imPort fansites:

While it isn't uncommon to see imPorts Nikolai and Ruby spending time together these days -photographs include her walking on a half wall while Niko walks beside her, or lunches at various cafes around the Porter Cities, it would seem they've gone steady, if the following video of a heartfelt rendition of 'a whole new world' in an upmarket karaoke bar can be believed. According to the anonymous source who leaked to major fan shrines and sites, it was filmed at some point during the 'Singing Imports' happenings and the cameraman is thought to be the redhead's Gengar, 'Baku'.

The video clip shows Nikolai and Ruby singing a heartfelt duet, with Nikolai actually getting up on the small table midway through, only to be joined by Ruby soon after. The clip lasts slightly longer than the song. Afterward, barely audible is Nikolai's 'Will you go out with me?' and Ruby's 'yes.'

While it is unclear as to who leaked the video, it has put an end to months of speculations by fans of the pair. While most are happy and congratulatory with the odd argument as to what the ship name should be, others are bitter and have even taken to name-calling over social media. This does include one superfan who has gone on record of saying Ruby deserves better than someone like Nikolai. Neither imPort has commented on the video as of yet.

BAPTISM BY SPIDER
As seen on the weekly community pamphlet from the Church of the Ancient Webmistress:

The Nov. 12 services will feature special guests Layla and Sally Clapp and their parents. Following their baptism, a social mingling hour will feature free cookies and coffee for everyone! All are welcome.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from BLOOD RED to BLOODIER RED because it just felt right.

The Majority Report comes out the 10th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th.

Comments

[usaf]

Who is leaking these Spider-Man videos? They're obviously faked.

private

[made_up_names]

Or I've got a clone. Or - I don't know, but I swear this isn't me.

permaprivate

[usaf]

I know it isn't you. Stealing purses from little old ladies? It's a cliché. Someone's running a very clever smear campaign.

video

[made_up_names]

[ Peter usually scrolls past this nonsense, but. Uh. That. Sure is a relevant announcement in the middle?? ]

Wait. Hold up. Who's stealing purses from old ladies?

Private

[helpdesk_hero]

My money? Quentin.

private until noted otherwise

[made_up_names]

[ That does scan. And David is the smartest person he knows. And yet ... ]

But there's no reason for him to do that. I don't think there's a reason, anyway.

Private

[mysterioisthetruth]

Oh dear, Peter... Are you that hard up for money for more pizza?

Re: video

[by_candlelight]

Do you know the guy, or is his name a surprise what with all of the recent shenanigans?

video

[kid_flash_found]

I wonder who faked those videos. Because that's definitely not the Spider-Man I've met.

[continuousgroaning]

look i'm as big a fan of romance as anyone, but

is this really the time???

[moonlitpath]

Well... yes?

I mean, y-yes we have an apocalypse to stop, but.. w-we should also have fun and take joy in the happier things too, right?

Voice

[by_candlelight]

This video was taken like a month ago. It’s not like Niko and I were shirking our responsibilities. There weren’t even zombies around at the time.

[Does she sound defensive? Yes. Because she is feeling mighty defensive.]

Text

[helpdesk_hero]

Strange, I didn't realize that J Jonah Jameson was here. Who let that guy write news?

text;

[cognitivism]

Bloodier Red is so comforting.

Text

[privatepurchases]

...What is this thing? where do these news pieces come from?

text;

[thecacophony]

What's the matter? Don't they have news bulletins where you're from?

Video

[namesaquestion]

Awww, so what, I have a girlfriend now. What about it?

[Despite the annoyed bluster, he is extremely uncomfortable with having his new relationship status out in the open for everyone to know about.]

Re: Video

[by_candlelight]

That looks like the video Baku took. Do you think one of your devices is insecure?

[she knows he is not down for uploading it himself. He isn’t shy, but he’s aware she was trying to keep a lower profile and she’s pretty sure he’d much rather show her off smugly (silly as that was) than post something where they both clearly had their guards down.]

Re: Video

[h2no]

Congratulations, Niko. Don't treat her like your team.

[sorry, son. while he does trust you, it's not quite enough.]

audio; un: troy.

[photografist]

That's the Spider-Man people think are connected to that church in Jeopardy?

[ Huh. ]

text |

[privatepurchases]

I don't think that's a god.

He doesn't look particularly impressive or godlike.

Voice

[by_candlelight]

A month-old video of two teens having fun and deciding to go out together is news when the very foundations of reality are coming apart? Really?

I hope those kids don’t end up in any extra shit now that their names are out there. If the OTO didn’t know who they were before, I bet they do now.

Voice

[moonlitpath]

I hope they don't either, but the OTO does want to get to our worlds, right? Yet the deadline's looming so close...

Do you think they're in danger?

Video;

[manmeasand]

Hold up, Spidey's doing what now? World ending so he what, switched teams?

Video;

[mysterioisthetruth]

Looks that way, doesn't it? Such desperate times... But are you really surprised?