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[germhating_hypochondriac]

[Eddie paces as he talks. There's a cast on his arm with the word loser written in black, with a red V written over the s to spell lover.]

Hello? Can you hear me? We're all kidnapping victims here; you guys know that right?

This nanite stuff sucks. There are tiny germ sized robots crawling around inside us! Something's gotta be powering them. They could be hanging out in our stomachs eating our food. Or they could be eating us and making tiny little holes inside our bodies. They could all build up in one place and block off the blood flowing through our arteries and our veins. Or build up in our organs, our lungs and our brains! And, our bodies are mostly water. They could be rusting inside us.

[He stops pacing and starts scratching his face with his cast-free hand]

I think I'm allergic to them! Everything's itchy. I'm gonna break out into hives!

[He starts wheezing and rubs his chest.]

I could be allergic to the tattoo too. I'm just a kid. I shouldn't have one. I think it's starting to swell up. I could have an infection. Or a blood disease. I don't trust these government people to be clean.

[The wheezing continues and his voice becomes strained with each word. He takes his inhaler out of a fanny pack and uses it, only speaking again when he's breathing is back to normal.]

How are we supposed to deal with this shit?

Comments

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[germhating_hypochondriac]

What the fuck?!

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[drivesadesk]

Look, calm down, calm down, it's like...back in my world, alien abductions just happen. Only most people don't know it, because your mind gets wiped after. But then, most of the time when you get abducted, the aliens really just want to see how you interact with some random Earth object, then they put you back without any memory that anything happened. This is like that. It's scary and invasive, but no one's going to hurt you, and when it's all over they just put you back and you don't even remember it.

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[germhating_hypochondriac]

Mind wipes?  Your world sounds scary as fuck.  Most of the time?   What the fuck happens the rest of the time?   What the hell do I tell my mom if I do get put back?   If I'm gone for a long time and I can't remember where I've been, she'll, she'll...I don't know what the fuck she'll do.  Make me get a ton of x-rays and needles and spend the rest of my life in a damn hospital.  I'll never get to go outside again when I get back.  My face is probably on every single milk carton on my world by now too. Every single one!  I'll never live it down.

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[drivesadesk]

It doesn't matter, because this time isn't going to be like those 'rest of the times'.

And I've actually got some great news for you. When we get put back, we're put back the same moment we left, so no one ever knows we were gone.

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[germhating_hypochondriac]

Are you sure?

Wait, what?  I heard people can be here for years. If I go back and I'm taller and older, how's anyone gonna know it's me?  It'll be like I grew up in a second. 

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[drivesadesk]

I'm sure. We've all been here this long and we're okay, aren't we?

And you'll go back to the age you were. It's like all of this is just erased.

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[germhating_hypochondriac]

Yeah, but people thought cigarettes were good for them once and then years later, they all started getting cancer.  Who knows what's gonna happen?

So I might have to be a fragile kid twice?

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[drivesadesk]

You don't know what's going to happen, but I know most of the people here aren't going to let something happen to a kid.

But yeah, you might have to be a kid twice. Hopefully you won't be stuck here long enough to grow up here, though.

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[germhating_hypochondriac]

Really?   Back home, most of the adults didn't give a shit when something happened.  Kids went missing or got hurt and the adults would just forget'em.  Even most of my friends' parents didn't care.

Yeah.

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[drivesadesk]

Really? Where I'm from adults really freak out when kids disappear. Even when they find the kid, there's a lot of fighting and drama over whose fault it was and who was supposed to be watching the kid.

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[germhating_hypochondriac]

Yeah, there'd be so many missing kid posters, they'd be hung up on top of each other.  Betty Ripsom's mother looked for her and my friend looked for his brother, but his parents would tell him to give up. No one else looked for any of the other kids.

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[drivesadesk]

That's...incredibly disturbing and your world sounds terrible. And you're upset about being pulled out of that world?

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[germhating_hypochondriac]

I'm upset about tiny robots in my body and a tattoo and being away from most of my friends and my mom, and all the other weird shit.

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[drivesadesk]

Oh, right. Yeah. I forgot about that part.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

You've got tiny robots and a tattoo too, dude.

[drivesadesk]

Well, yeah, but that kind of thing seems normal to me. I forgot about it being weird in your world.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

It shouldn't be normal in any world! There shouldn't even be other worlds.

[drivesadesk]

Well, that sure is a strong opinion about other worlds.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

It's logic. No one's ever said anything about other Earths before I got here. Not even astronauts. Where have all these other places been hiding?

[drivesadesk]

Well, I'm not surprised. Humans are a very primitive species. I mean, even my species doesn't know about other universes like this, but I'd expect a human to be used to not knowing about that sort of thing. They haven't even noticed they're being invaded yet back in my world.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

So, there could be an invasion going on right now and we wouldn't know shit. Maybe there was an invasion and this is all some hallucination from alien drugs.

[drivesadesk]

Yeah, I guess so. But I don't think that's the case. I have enough experience with these things, I think I'd pick up on that.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

But if it's a hallucination then you're not real and just something I dreamed up.

[drivesadesk]

Oh, I'm definitely real.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

That's what a hallucination would say.