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[germhating_hypochondriac]

[Eddie paces as he talks. There's a cast on his arm with the word loser written in black, with a red V written over the s to spell lover.]

Hello? Can you hear me? We're all kidnapping victims here; you guys know that right?

This nanite stuff sucks. There are tiny germ sized robots crawling around inside us! Something's gotta be powering them. They could be hanging out in our stomachs eating our food. Or they could be eating us and making tiny little holes inside our bodies. They could all build up in one place and block off the blood flowing through our arteries and our veins. Or build up in our organs, our lungs and our brains! And, our bodies are mostly water. They could be rusting inside us.

[He stops pacing and starts scratching his face with his cast-free hand]

I think I'm allergic to them! Everything's itchy. I'm gonna break out into hives!

[He starts wheezing and rubs his chest.]

I could be allergic to the tattoo too. I'm just a kid. I shouldn't have one. I think it's starting to swell up. I could have an infection. Or a blood disease. I don't trust these government people to be clean.

[The wheezing continues and his voice becomes strained with each word. He takes his inhaler out of a fanny pack and uses it, only speaking again when he's breathing is back to normal.]

How are we supposed to deal with this shit?

Comments

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Shut up.

You look like you're allergic to scissors.  What the fuck's up with your haircut?  It's worse than a mullet.

[It takes him a long time to get the words out and when he's done, he's using his inhaler again.  He manages to keep the angry look on his face.]

[tricksterofasgard]

I doubt my hair is the true issue here, but to put your mind at ease: It's a choice.

[ One of the actual choices he has made. ]

What's much more curious is how you depend on this little toy in your hand to keep you from suffocating.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

A bad choice.  It looks greasy too.  Your hair must smell like ass.

[Just one more puff and he calms his breathing.]

It's not a toy, dumbass.  It's an inhaler.

[tricksterofasgard]

[ Have one big shrug. Truly though, the last thing Loki needs is for anyone to try smelling his hair. He may be well aware that he isn't blessed with a glorious Asgardian mane, BUT- He simply refuses to let anyone know that it might bother him.

On the other hand... Hair care is a pain and just... No.

Hence he simply drops the matter without comment and keep his attention on the inhaler. ]

Just another pathetic human invention. Will you die without it?

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[Eddie doesn't know the answer to that.  His mother told him he was not just asthmatic, but weak and fragile too.   A girl working at the pharmacy told him it was all bullshit.  He knows his 'asthma' feels real and the inhaler helps.  It feels like he needs it to live.  The inhaler, the pills, his mom to practically cover him in bubble wrap, all of it feels right even if it isn't.]

Will you die if you take a shower?

[tricksterofasgard]

I prefer long, hot baths.

[ Yeah, no one asked that, but... Does he care? ]

But that does not answer my question. What would happen if I turned your little contraption into little more than a handful of dry leaves, I wonder...

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Dunk your head under the water to wash it.  And keep your head under the water for a long time.

[He stares at him in an utter panic.  Could he actually do that?  Why?]

I'd get another one. 

[tricksterofasgard]

Are you certain these exist in a realm that utilizes nanites injected into your body to take care of many medical needs?

[ Just curious. ]

I hear they can regrow entire limbs when they aren't reading your very thoughts.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[Eddie points to a piece of paper.]

Says right here that only we get the nanites, not the people that already live here.  They'll have inhalers.

[Sarcastically.]  Yeah.  'Cause it's so hard to tell what I'm thinking.  If they're reading anyone's brain - it's yours.

[tricksterofasgard]

In that case I hope they adopt some of my ideas. Might make being stuck here much more amusing.

[ Spoiler: No one wants that sort of chaos. ]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[He reaches for his inhaler, then stops and takes a pill instead.]

No, dude, they'll save your ideas for writing scary stories.

[Bill's not here.  Someone has to do it.]

[tricksterofasgard]

[ He gets a short, nasty chuckle for that. ]

Oh no, I am already doing that myself. I might write one about you next.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Why don't you go do that, asshole?   Before the little robots plagiarize it.

[tricksterofasgard]

Would you like to read it when I'm done? And worry not, I will make sure to age you up a decade or two. Your partner as well.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Nope. You can go ahead and age me up to your age, in the story for all I care. That'd be 5 or 6 decades right, old man? And I only found out I had a job today. I don't have a partner.

[Because business partner is the first place his mind went.]

[tricksterofasgard]

I'm actually roughly a millennia older than that.

[ He's saying this quite matter-of-factly. ]

And I like my fanfiction to be realistic. Something tragically romantic seems fitting.

[ Careful, he's building a ship for you. ]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Is that why you're such a jerk?  You're so old, you're brain's all rotted out.

[He rolls his eyes.]

That was a quick shift from horror.  You must have old brain problems.

[tricksterofasgard]

Everyone can do horror. I prefer starting shipping wars.

[ It's better and messier than sowing actual wars. Loki truly enjoys the internet. ]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Whatever the fuck that means.  [Eddie hasn't experienced the internet yet.] You're so old you don't make sense.

[tricksterofasgard]

And you stopped your wheezing.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Yeah. It's just asthma.

[tricksterofasgard]

And it just occurs randomly? Leaving you gasping for air, like a fish out of water and seemingly dying a terrible death of suffocation?

[ Does this seem random? Maybe. And yet there is usually some sort of chaotic logic behind Loki's randomness. ]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[It's not random at all.  When he's nervous or scared, that' when he has 'asthma' attacks.  He's not gonna give the stranger more to use against him.  He shakes his head, trying to look calm.]

It's not like dying.  Stop saying shit like that.

[tricksterofasgard]

Well, it looked and sounded that way. You might think the porter is sadistic for bringing in beings in such a broken state without fixing them...

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[He looks sad for a moment, only because he does see himself as broken - weaker and more fragile than everyone else. The moment passes and he shakes his head.]

No. The porter knew I'd want to be here since Richie's here. That's not sadistic. The people working around the porters need to do a better job of explaining shit when we get here; that's all.