maskormenace | ONE [Video]

[When the video starts, it just seems like whoever recording it dropped their communicator. It's a still image of slate grey stone.]

Ugh, still feels like I'm gonna break this damn thing. Hey, this on?

[The same twists around to show that, no, that was the palm of someone's hand. Specifically, a tall, bulky rock man frowning down at the device, stone brows furrowed over faintly glowing white eyes.]

Alright, cool. So. Hey! Dropped off in another realty again. Super awesome. I love going to sleep and waking up in freaking Florida. On an army base. Surrounded by humans. With no gate in sight.

[He pauses, presumably for effect, before quickly adding.] That was sarcasm, by the way. This whole thing sucks. Like, it sucked the first time I was here, but now it's a brand new level of suck 'cause now I don't even know if this is a real alternate reality or another trip inside someone else's head. Sure, I remember this happening before, but memory doesn't count for jack when it can be changed, right?

[With the set-up delivered, his grimace suddenly switches into a big smirk.]

Luckily, I'm a genius and I've got a foolproof scientific method to figure out if this place is real or not with just two simple questions.

[He holds up a finger.] One - has anyone seen a Fake White Jesus-looking dude with one-glowing eye running around? If the answer is yes, then this is totally his fault, and I want to punch his stupid face in.

[A second finger goes up.] Two - and I wanna remind you guys, this is just a scientific question - are people allowed to bang in this reality? Don't laugh! It's super important. Just gimme a yes or no answer. Or send some photographic evidence I'm not gonna say no to that.

Okay, got all that? Good. Now while I wait to see if this is all bullshit or not, I'm gonna go run a test by going to the nearest sandwich place and seeing if they'll give me a free hoagie. Y'know. For science.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I could come throw you to check and make sure.

( since he can't really pinch a rock, u kno. )

How about I come throw you instead? That'd be pretty convincing.

Only in your dreams.

Like I don't got better stuff to dream about.

Where you at, anyway? They've got me stuck living over in Martian Falls or whatever. I wasn't paying a ton of attention. [Because he was trying to figure out how his new transformation worked but he's not telling Julian that. Or anyone else. Ever.]

Nonah's where they put me.

( but he's not attached or anything. why would he be? )

Probably faster for me to fly than for you to try and find your way over.

True, true. If you wanna come hang out- [Santo swings the comm over to a street sign.]

Just look for the big grey blob in the middle of the street.

Yeah, you don't really blend into city surroundings well.

( which means he's easy to find. there's a green spark to julian's eyes, before he's. just taking off flying now, he's not doing anything. )

[Santo looks around, noticing the stares coming from passersby for the first time. Some of it's that old suspicious look he's more than used to getting from humans by now, but not all of it. It's a nice change.]

Oh please. I'm a master of camouflage. Just gotta just blow myself up and make a body out of the road!

...Which I won't do, 'cause I like these pants and getting clothes in my size here is gonna be a pain in the ass.

ONE [Video]

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