maskormenace | THE MAJORITY REPORT: FEBRUARY 10TH, 2020

THE MAJORITY REPORT: FEBRUARY 10TH, 2019open your heart

IMPORTS & EXPORTS
As seen in major news outlets:

Following the mass disappearance of imPorts and their subsequent return and reports of visiting another dimension, government officials have invited anyone who is willing to visit a porter city military base and take part in a formal interview and accounting of their experience. Officials report that the Porter itself has not shown any changes before, during or after the disappearance, and they do not currently have an explanation for its cause.

HEART ATTACKED
As seen in porter city news outlets:

Just as the missing heroes have returned, multiple native residents have reported attacks by unknown creatures, taking place at malls, parks, and other population centers. Descriptions vary on the creatures' appearance, but several witnesses claimed they were assaulted by living shadows.

Speculation has arisen as to whether this could be a resurgence of last year's cryptids, but whether they're a returning phenomenon or something new, police are cautioning citizens to be careful, as the creatures are dangerous. Some victims were taken to the hospital to have claw-like injuries attended to; additionally, several missing persons reports were filed in the wake of the attacks. A police spokesman assured reporters that there have as of yet been no casualties, as no bodies were found on the scene following any of the attacks.

WHATCHA GONNA DO
As seen going viral on Bwitter and BlueTube.:
As demonstrated by the trending hashtag #skullbait, it seems that even princesses aren't immune to bad boys. With the incriminating video of a heartfelt reunion that resulted in a loving embrace and locking of lips between Aegis' own Lucina and Maurtia Falls' resident ganglord Guzma, one might say their union is a modern day Romeo and Juliet. However, it would seem that not everyone is on board with these proclaimed "star-crossed lovers," and have taken it to social media to vent their outcries, while others seem more excited than ever over the couple.

There had been speculation over the past couple months, as the two had been seen in public quite often together, but there hadn't been anything substantial enough to confirm their relationship. Seems that's come to an end with this candid video of the two getting leaked online by an anonymous poster. Which has resulted in countless video edits either in support of the couple or in opposition, some edits even included putting the clip into compilation videos of soldiers coming home and reuniting with their overexcited dogs.

WHEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE
As seen on social media and pop-up media promotions:

It's the month of love! Be sure to show your best friends and that special someone just how much you care with the new app, Love Has A-Rose-en! This hot new app is endorsed by popular imPort Tina Belcher and is sure to make your Valentine's Day preparation easy as 1-2-3!

JUST GIVE ME A SIGN
As seen on fan blogs and Bumblr:

The temporary disappearance of many imPorts stirred fears that such a thing could happen again, and for good. As a result, imPort fans have challenged each other to obtain as many imPort autographs and photos as possible, many of which are appearing in online auctions.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from MORALLY GRAY to PINKEST PINK because love is in the air.

The Majority Report comes out the 10th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Yeah, he's going to ignore the stuff about the heartless, because that's not what's important.]

aint got no faith in big bad guzma HUH?

[of course he doesn't say anything about those creatures, when has he known Guzma to ever be helpful in that regard?]

Tell me where I said that? I'm just surprised, that's all. Is she anything like Plumeria?

[Helpful? Yeah, that's not Guzma.]

w/e kid & she aint like plum not rly

[A beat, and then:]

well she can kick ur ass just as good
also u implying somethin w/ that line of questioning?

[Did Gladion think himself and Plumeria were a thing, or?]

So she's strong and can put up a fight against you is what you're saying then?
And why would I have to imply or assume something that everyone thought was quite obvious between you two?

[Although in hindsight, he was doing just that, assuming. Not like he was going to admit to that fault, least of all to Guzma of all people, especially when he had in fact thought the two were a couple. Or at the very least, close enough to be one.]

[Guzma's a little surprised by Gladion's admission. Mainly because him and Plumeria were just close friends, as far as he was concerned. Partners, but not in a romantic sense. After all, his eyes were on the boy's mother...which adds its own complicated equation to this whole romantic entanglement.

This idiot has no idea of the very obvious feelings his admin harbors for him. who can be surprised, though? When he can't even see the value and love his own grunts have for him.]

yeah thats what im sayin
& yall were seein shit that aint there
me & plum r homies nothin more

[Had Gladion known that Guzma had eyes on his mother, he never would have joined up with Skull and he certainly wouldn't have taken the job he had as an Enforcer. He would have stayed miles away from them, his mother is why he left in the first place.

It was painfully obvious with how Plumeria stared at Guzma and how often she was at his side. He's seen those looks before. Before her change...]

Well. She sounds like someone who I wouldn't want to make angry.
You two were sure close for "homies", can you really blame others for seeing that?
Now. Are you going to be helpful or not about these creatures?

[he doubts it, but one can only hope]

[That's what we call sweet sweet delicious irony!

But as we know, Guzma's a fucking idiot and unappreciates the wrong people. Had he been able to correctly prioritize himself, and appreciate those that loved him, well...]

look kid just cuz u aint knoin how 2 make friends dont mean we all suck @ it
& y should i? aint my problem

[a shame that he doesn't see it when it's right in front of him, the idiot.]

You're one to talk about making friends.
I should have expected as much with you being helpful...

[He could too make friends, if he wasn't such a short-tempered kid with those priorities of his. Or that sharp tongue.]

THE MAJORITY REPORT: FEBRUARY 10TH, 2020

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