maskormenace | THE MAJORITY REPORT: MARCH 10TH, 2020

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THE MAJORITY REPORT: MARCH 10TH, 2020

THE MAJORITY REPORT: MARCH 10TH, 2020

MISTER HISTORY
As seen on TV and social media ads:

The Historical Channel launched a new campaign for its upcoming imPort-starring series, "The Untold History of Antiques." David Alleyne will serve as host and use his psychometric powers to tell the full and complex histories of antiques. The show is set to premier on April 2nd following a full promotional bliz.

WHAT IS A SPECIAL ELECTION?
As seen in local news in Jeopardy:

Those tuned into politics or really hard up for gossip have been whispering that something is afoot in Jeopardy City Hall. Two top aides to Mayor Alec Bertek resigned in recent weeks, and on Monday, March 9, the longtime mayor announced his impending retirement. In a press release, Mayor Bertek stated that he looked forward to spending more time with his family and getting in touch with his spirituality at the Church of the Ancient Web Mistress. Representatives for the mayor's office did not respond to requests for comment.

BABY DON'T HURT ME
As seen on Bwitter:

It seems Team Skull's boss Guzma has been pretty popular on social media recently, since this is the second month in a row he's been trending! but it's not with his controversial Juliet—instead, it seems that the bad boy has swapped teams and has gone for his own Romeo. Who might this Romeo be? None other than Aegis's own Darin Altway. Images of the two having what appears to be a heartfelt embrace started flooding Bwitter with the trending tag #SkullForge, and with it a deluge of mixed opinions.

The rumor mill has been churning with speculation over the well-known rivalry between the two, and if the fires of adversity have since turned into a mutual flame of passion. Others have expressed dismay, while some have wondered what this means for Lucina, mourning for the princess with the hashtag #2good4him; where they have shared similar stories and experiences of being left heartbroken in the face of their lovers "swapping teams". There's no confirmation on whether this is the end of the Princess' relationship with the gang boss, but only time will tell. Whatever the case may be, it seems that the self proclaimed "hated boss" of Team Skull has a knack for blue-haired heroes, and perhaps they in kind have a thing for bad boys!

DON'T TURN GREEN
As seen on social media:

ImPorts of legal drinking age are invited to a livestreamed green beer drinking contest in De Chima's favorite establishment, the Bad Idea Bar! Whose powers make them best able to hold their beer? Who can turn puking into a super-offensive ability? Prizes include $500 cash, free beer for a year and bragging rights.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from PINKEST PINK to FOOL'S GOLD YELLOW.

The Majority Report comes out the 10th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Don't even bother entering the beer drinking contest. Those bragging rights are mine.

[ Five hundred dollars, shmive shmundred shmollars. She wants to show off. ]