( text )

[optikon]

[ he's spent his time since arrival largely in a sort of traumatized fugue, locked in his bedroom in the housing he was provided, probably alarming and upsetting his housemates. if martin were here, he'd have probably already adjusted-- gently bullying jon into cleaning up, feeding him tea, making him sleep. holding him when the nightmares started. .. jon likes to think that he doesn't take martin for granted any longer, and hasn't in months, but.. god, it's so hard not having him here.

still, he'd begun slowly to get himself together, even to make a foray or two onto the network to learn what he could. and now.. now he needs to address the metaphorical elephant in the room. ]

My name is Jonathan Sims. At home, I was the head archivist of an organization called the Magnus Institute, which is an academic institution dedicated to researching the esoteric and paranormal. [ which is.. true, in that he was the archivist.. before the end of the world. ] With that said, the archives took, researched, and filed statements from those that had paranormal experiences they wished to unburden themselves of.

As it appears that I'll be working in a similar capacity here, I'd like to continue my work from home. Therefore, if you're interested in committing your personal experience(s) to paper or to email, I'd be glad to collect them. However, please don't record them in audio or video format.

If you'd like to discuss the details of what that entails, I'll answer any questions I can. Thank you.


[ ooc; anyone in maurtia falls 006 may also find their secretive hobo-gremlin housemate finally out of his room, showered and looking like he's in withdrawal as he attempts to make tea in the kitchen for himself without shaking to pieces. good luck with that. ]

Comments

[aeva]

( he was right, some people were very pushy about it which wasn't the right route to go down, not for everyone )

Whilst I'm certain you mean that in kindness it may be a little difficult in practice.

( particularly when that was such a vague statement )

If there's something you're particularly worried about perhaps I can help?

[optikon]

It's nothing that you can help with, [ he says after a quiet moment, tightening his fingers on one another. ] It's-- [ he can't lie. these people deserve better than that.

he wets his mouth, the hunger just there, clawing at his brain. ] I'm afraid that I'm a-- a kind of monster. [ there are other people that might be considered monsters here, too, he knows. people from out of what jon would consider myth. but.. not like this, he's afraid. ] There's something attached to me, an eldritch being of fear called the Beholding. It-- [ his glance finally lifts, bleak and bruised beneath his glasses. ] It's the fear of being watched, being seen. Being Known. We collect supernatural trauma, Mrs Sheringham. [ faintly: ] Things beyond the human experience. Things that frightened you, things that hurt you. .. And.. I can tell when something's there.

[ he pushes his glasses up on top of his head, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes until it hurts, until he sees stars. ] It's not supposed to be this hungry anymore.

[aeva]

Supernatural trauma.

( it's not really a question, just a repetition of what he says as she slowly nods, trying to understand and slowly parse it. maybe he is a danger to her given what she is-- was. and the trauma she has attached to that )

What uh-- what does this hunger mean?

( she's treading carefully, as neutrally said as she can but she can't deny that there isn't some concern within her. eldritch fears. oh boy )

[optikon]

[ for a few moments, he doesn't respond, feeling exhausted beyond measure at the idea of having to.. explain everything. what he is, what he can do. she's going to be horrified: she has every right and reason to be.

his hands fall from his eyes and he rubs the corner of one with his thumb. ]

I'm-- I have to feed it. You feed your patron, or it feeds on you. Or it forces you to feed it, which has.. been my experience when I attempt to abstain. [ he'll never stop feeling guilty for the statements he's taken from innocent people, and he's going to try very hard not to let it get to that point here. ]

.. Statements of supernatural or paranormal experiences have been enough in the past. Written statements, from those that give them willingly. It's not fully.. satisfying.. but they keep the Watcher passive enough to manage. [ and as his voice falls silent again, the soft whir of a small, analog tape recorder can be heard somewhere in the kitchen. he winces at the sound of it, climbing to his feet again to find it, tucked out of the way behind a container. ] .. It also has, as you might imagine from the name and description, voyeuristic tendencies.

[aeva]

By reading their words you can experience them -- watch them, effectively?

( he had called his patron the watcher, if he confirmed that it made sense that he was able to do such a thing )

How often do you need them?

( this is more a calculated question, wanting to keep the younger members of this house safe. she'd help him where she could, look out for him but she would fiercely protect them )

[optikon]

You had it right the first time, [ he admits wearily. ] I-- I experience what they experienced. [ and he sees those things every night, cycling through them, unable to stop them or interfere or not watch.

the question earns a wary glance, though, scarred fingers going white-knuckled around his mug. ]

I-- Honestly, it depends on the-- the subject matter. The.. depth of trauma. [ that sounds horrific, but it's the simple fact of the matter. ] Once or twice a week would be.. manageable, I think.

[aeva]

( she's quiet for a moment, understanding what he's said, deciding on what to do with it )

Mr Sims-- ( there's a slight pause, making certain that what she's about to do she can live with. but it's a better alternative than what else she assumes could happen ) I have a duty to protect the others in this house.

( a duty she took upon herself, no one asked for it but she's been looking out and caring for them from the moment she arrived. she won't have them in danger )

If it becomes too much you come to me. I won't have anyone hurt.

( she doesn't know whether he physically would or if something else would happen but she'd rather help him than find out, hoping that he understands rather than asks how she could help )

[optikon]

[ the implication that he would hurt the others in the house stings, twisting him up inside, making him curl into himself. it's warranted, he knows; how many people has he hurt? he'd killed peter lukas. yes, the older man had deserved it, but it doesn't change what jon did. ]

I don't intend to be here for long, [ he promises quietly, staring down into his cup, narrow shoulders stiff. ] Once I've saved enough to move out.. perhaps a few months. I-- I apologize that it can't be sooner than that.

[aeva]

I'm not asking you to leave.

( she also doesn't know if that would be better, not with the behaviour that she's already observed in him )

But there's a way to keep everyone safe and that includes you. Your predicament is unfortunate but we can help it. I assume now that's what your initial message was regarding?

[optikon]

You're not, but it's my intention regardless. [ it's not.. safe. and he doesn't have martin or daisy or basira here to keep him from doing something terrible. he just has to keep his distance and-- ]

--Yes. [ he sucks in a breath, releasing it slowly. ] I thought it best to-- to get the request out there as quickly as I could. [ and hope people are interested, and don't demand too much information out of him. ]

[aeva]

Then there is help for you, options.

( she pauses, shifting the focus slightly )

Should I assume that's why you haven't eaten?

( rather than him being ill. to save her being concerned )

[optikon]

It's.. [ he trails off, then lifts his mug to indicate its perfectly normal tea contents. ] .. partially why. I don't really eat much anymore.

[ he doesn't think it does him any good, and it often leaves him feeling nauseous anyway. ]

[aeva]

( she nods, not needing to question it, never offended by him not eating )

As long as what you are doing keeps you safe -- healthy, I suppose. That's all I want for anyone in this house.