maskormenace | [Video]

[ If he knew how to make this private, he would. But alas, he does not. ]

I need to speak with you, regarding some alarming accusations I have heard.

Edited (phone type) 2020-05-25 12:55 (UTC)

[What are brothers for? Meng Yao senses that this should be...

Between them.]

Have you heard the story in full?

[ If Jin Zixuan were a smarter man, a more observant man, he may notice the privacy lock on the conversation.

But he doesn't, and so he will learn nothing. ]

I have heard pieces. I thought I would give you the chance to explain yourself.

[The privacy is so they can speak without interruption. Meng Yao has no problem speaking about his crimes in public. Therapy has...helped. With that.]

There is no explanation I can give that will make you feel better. I desired the affection and attention of our father and when I was denied, I sought to build the world I wanted by force. I even killed my own child to keep one of my many secrets.

[His voice isn't steady, but he is doing his utmost to remain calm.]

I am the reason Father died. I am the reason you perished too.

[ ...This goes deep. Deeper than Jin Zixuan had anticipated. He had heard of his own downfall, of his father's. Of Yanli's. But for Jin Guangyao to kill his own son? That's a bridge too far. ]

And at no point, did you stop and think this was not the right course of action?

[He wants to laugh. Something in him cracks at the pure question. His brother is a better man and that is why he found happiness - no matter how fleeting.]

I saw what I wanted; I tried to protect those dear to me, but it was no use. I went about it the wrong way.

"Protect those dear to you?" Was I not dear to you? Was our father not dear to you?

Was your own son not dear to you??

I hated you for the love Father showed you. I hated him for not loving me.

And my son - [His facade cracks at last and he closes his eyes tightly.] was a product of incest. The signs would have ruined my marriage and caused my wife to despise me.

[ This hole just keeps getting deeper and deeper. ]

Incest? You--! [ He wishes he could say he wasn't surprised. But more and more illegitimate siblings keep coming out of the woodwork. This is all his father's doing. Sure, nothing his father did absolves Jin Guangyao from making the terrible choices he mad, but... If his father had just kept it in his fucking pants... None of this would have happened. ]

I don't know what to say. [ He shakes his head, stunned. ] I don't know what to say to you.

I did not discover our relation until we were already promised to be wed. If I rejected her, I would have caused her unnecessary grief.

[And the truth is - she had adored him. Of course he had wanted that, sister or not. Is he mentally ill? Oh yes. And desperate.

He shakes his head sadly at Zixuan's conclusion, unable to meet his gaze.]

You are a good man and I am not. I am attempting to be better, but my sins cannot be erased.

[ He talks about wanting to spare this poor woman unnecessary grief... But then he murdered their child. Is that not an unnecessary grief? ]

I don't understand how your mind works. I'm not sure I ever will.

[ What does he do now? Where do they go from here? He's the only other person from the Jin clan here, they can't just ignore one another. ]

Tell me. Do you have any intention of harming myself or Jiang Yanli here, in this world?

[Or was it necessary grief to keep her protected? Meng Yao has a strange way of looking at things, that's for sure. But, in some ways, it is oddly...childish. She was his, so he had to make sure she remained his.]

I think that is for the best.

[No, they can't. Though Meng Yao would leave him alone if asked.]

No. I have tried...to make her stay...more comfortable. Jin Ling...

Your son...

Is very dear to me.

Edited 2020-05-28 02:10 (UTC)

[ Whoa. Hold the phone. Or, Zixuan would say that if he really understood the concept of what a phone was. Despite using one currently, he still doesn't really get it. ]

What about my son?

[ Jin Ling was not born yet, from Zixuan's perspective. And Jiang Wanyin has already told him his son would grow up an orphan, thanks to Jin Guangyao's actions. He is instantly on edge, wary of his confession. ]

What do you know about Jin Ling?

Edited (typo) 2020-05-28 15:44 (UTC)

I helped raise him - side by side with Jiang Wanyin. [As would be expected of Jin Ling's closest family. If things were normal. Clearly they are not.]

I know he is dear to me. He was present for a time in this world. I do not know what I would have done without his support. [His forgiveness, rather.]

[ Jin Ling was here. Not a child, but a grown Jin Ling. This place truly did play with time.

Zixuan doesn't know how to react to this news. ]

Did he know? What you did. What you took from him.

[ This is important. If Jin Guangyao is the reason he and Yanli will die, but then he turns around and raises the soon they left behind...? What kind of message is that? ]

He learned the truth before we arrived. [Horribly, bloodily and Meng Yao is certain the child is scarred for life. But amazingly the love Jin Ling held for him remained intact.]

Like his father... Like his mother... He is brave and good.

[ He knew, and he was able to forgive. He really must be like his mother. Because Jin Zixuan himself is struggling to think of a reason to forgive Jin Guangyao for everything he's heard. Maybe not even forgive him, but excuse him?

If it weren't for the fact that he does seem truly remorseful, this struggle would be a lot easier. He could cut the man from his life entirely, deny any and all relation to him. But... He does seem to want to repent for his actions, somewhat. ]

Do you regret what you have done? All the pain and death you have caused?

[He leaves justice in the hands of his victims. That is where it belongs. Meng Yao has been attending intense counseling sessions since his arrival; he is on medication too. Both have helped to calm him - to give him the proper perspective on what he has done. Repeating those actions nauseates him, frankly, and he has decided, if he goes down that road even a step, he will end his life.

Yes, he is remorseful. More and more every day as he learns the pain he has caused. Glancing up at his brother briefly, hesitantly, he nods.]

I do. I am not worthy of life, but I will not waste this chance.

[ If Zixuan knew about the therapy and medication-- not only that Jin Guangyao is using them, but what they are to begin with-- he would feel more at ease. But the remorse is a start. It will have to do for now. ]

Please know that if it comes down to our family ties versus the safety of lady Jiang, I will choose her over you every time.

[ Harsh words, and perhaps they don't help mend any bridges, but it's important to Zixuan that his half brother knows where he stands. ]

[He was in a poor state when he arrived, bleeding and broken. The hospital had organized counseling for him originally - mandatory for a time - and he has chosen to keep it going. There are names for his mental illnesses, but the important part is he is being treated and monitored closely.]

I would expect no less. I do not even expect you to choose me if she is not involved.

[He has built a life for himself and he hopes, with a new house, he will be able to continue it.]

I am ill, brother. But I will not oblige my illness again.

[ Someday, he will have to learn more about the treatments his brother is putting himself through. This new world has no shortage of things to learn, though, so it frankly isn't among Zixuan's highest priorities. As long as Yanli and himself are safe, that is what matters. ]

I am glad to hear you admit it. Perhaps now there can be some peace.

Edited (phone typo) 2020-06-01 02:22 (UTC)

[The dosage has been adjusted several times, but he is reaping the benefit of the new chemicals/concoctions. While he could trick the hospital staff and his counselor with ease, he has chosen not to and they have been made aware of his sharp mind.]

With me, perhaps. But this world is often chaotic.

Yes, [ he says distastefully. ] That much I have discovered for myself.

[ He turned into a bird, for goodness sakes. If that is not chaos, he does not know what is. ]

How long have you been present in this world, to have witnessed its chaotic nature?

[At least their paths hadn't crossed since Meng Yao was briefly a fox!]

It will be five months for me in two and a half weeks.

[ No, that would have made matters infinitely more complicated. ]

Five months...

[ It is still so strange to Zixuan that they were all pulled here from different times, at different times. ]

And when were you taken, from the perspective of our world? I am aware that I seem to come from an earlier point than most of us. [ Probably because he was already dead at all the later points. ]

How long has it been, for you, since my wedding to lady Jiang?

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