video; 003

[ironbuttmonkey]

[When the feed comes on, there's a kitchen that's looking pretty..."worked in", for lack of a better term(it's a mess). The shot rapidly changes focus, as if he's turned the communicator way too fast(surprise, he did) to Sanageyama.]

Uh. Hi-

[Then he's immediately cut off by the sound of loud groaning in the background like someone's in pain, which very faintly sounds like Inumuta, for anyone who knows the guy. Sanageyama leans off screen briefly, head turning as he does to look at something in the distance, then returns looking a bit apprehensive.]

...yeah, uh, anyone got any idea how to settle an upset stomach?

I don't think it's food poisoning...it came on too quickly for that.

But I dunno he ate some food, threw up a bit, now he's just...I have him lying down on the couch to try and relax, but he's not doing so good.

[Awkward pause, before he adds-]

Uh, thanks.

Comments

[glowsferatu]

Then he'll have to be very committed to the charade, if your hearing is that developed. Is it only that, or are any of the other senses similarly enhanced?

[ironbuttmonkey]

Oh, it's all of them; well, excluding my sense of touch.

I can hear someone's heartbeat, recognize people by scent alone...all sorts of stuff.

[glowsferatu]

And taste? Lick him then, see if anything tastes wrong. That could give us a suitable diagnosis.

[ironbuttmonkey]

[SNORT. Kanaya please.]

Hey, hey, that's a really cruel suggestion. I don't wanna catch anything.

[glowsferatu]

Sure, assuming it's even bacterial in nature. Which it probably isn't.

And if it doesn't work, at least you'll break through his act!

[ironbuttmonkey]

...I wonder though.

[Actually sounding contemplative...]

No, no, forget it. It wouldn't be viable.

[glowsferatu]

Well, the only other alternative I can think of, aside from him faking, is that your sense of taste makes you sensitive to the seasoning and you cooked it accordingly. But that would result in too little garlic, if anything.

[ironbuttmonkey]

Oh no, I didn't try this before I gave it to him; my tongue's way too sensitive. I have to stick to bland foods or else my mouth goes nuts.

If I'm eating my cooking I avoid spices.

[A huff.]

Maybe he'll be able to figure it out once he's feeling better, considering he's the smart one around here. Right now he just thinks I'm cursed, so I'm chalking that up to him feeling unwell.

[glowsferatu]

So. If you're unable to taste anything you might cook for someone else... Is there any chance you might have overcompensated and used too much garlic?

I don't suppose you'd really be able to confirm either way.

[ but it's the same reason she never cooks if she's in her native form, everything tastes bland if it isn't blood. ]

[ironbuttmonkey]

...

[Just...a moment of silence please.]

...only he knows for sure at this point.

[meaning "yeah maybe ur right kan"]

[glowsferatu]

[ she looks back down, frown growing, then back up. she looks down, brows furrowing, then back up. she looks back down again, lips parting into a proper cringe, and finally back up at him. ]

...Maybe you shouldn't be cooking for others to begin with.

[ironbuttmonkey]

Hey, I can cook just fine! ...I mean, I can cook konnyaku just fine.

And if I can do that, there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to cook other stuff.

[glowsferatu]

First of all, that logic doesn't follow in any way. Different foods have different cooking methods, and knowing one doesn't necessarily translate universally.

And second of all, I have no idea what konnyaku even is.

[ironbuttmonkey]

[He'll get back to the cooking issue in a minute. Now that the subject is konnyaku, his full attention has to be given to it. It's like a law or something.]

Sheesh. So many people here don't, I just don't know how any of you live without it.

It's only the greatest food in existence; one of unlimited potential!

[Surely that explains everything.]

[glowsferatu]

I have a specialized diet, I live just fine. And I suspect that none of what you said actually means anything.

[ironbuttmonkey]

Who's ever heard of saying something and meaning nothing? Of course it means something.

It means that as an ingredient it's incredibly versatile; you can make noodles with it, or steaks. I even made a cake with it not too long ago that everyone loved. Even Inumuta. He didn't get sick or anything.

Hell, I bet I could even make it into something you'd like.

[glowsferatu]

Well, "greatest" is subjective. It depends on what you value in a food. Obviously, in your case, that's versatility. I'm guessing this "konnyaku" must require minimal seasoning, if you've had no problem with it.

Still, I really doubt it can be made to fit my tastes.

[ironbuttmonkey]

Look, it doesn't matter what you need. I can throw blood in there if I have to.

It just works with everything. That's the beauty of konnyaku; it welcomes everyone, be they ingredient or person. You could even say it's the kindest of the foods.

[Is she sick of poetic shounen nonsense yet.]

[glowsferatu]

[ she's realizing that anyone he knows him for any extended time must learn pretty quickly when to tune him out. ]

Just adding blood seems like the wrong way to go, not when it's a main dish I'm not entirely sure of from the start. Unless you can make a smoothie or something from it.

But I'm still not sure what konnyaku strictly is.

[ironbuttmonkey]

[Then he'll link her to this

And also;]

Konnyaku's a gel made out of the corm of a plant of the same name. It's kind of like a potato before they make it up into the gel, but it has no taste otherwise; that's why it's great for almost any meal.

[He actually has detailed encyclopedic knowledge of this stupid food.]

[glowsferatu]

So the crux of what you're telling me is that the food item you currently evangelize is, effectively, a flavorless slime.

Where does the line form? I feel the overwhelming urge to fight my way to its head.

[ironbuttmonkey]

Hey, hold on a second here!

You can insult Inumuta. You can insult me. But I won't sit back and let you talk shit about konnyaku.

[#priorities]

[glowsferatu]

Does it have to be an insult when I'm simply rephrasing the same description you gave me?

Still, if it's flavorless, at least I can be assured that I'm missing nothing.

[ironbuttmonkey]

It was the way you said it.

If you ate something you couldn't -- like, not enough blood or whatever -- would you get sick?

[glowsferatu]

[ he's not wrong, the way she said it was way more offensive than she's owning up to. ]

If I didn't eat enough blood, I'd probably go crazy before I grew sick. I've never really gotten to that point before.

[ if she doesn't eat enough real food, well she already does that honestly. she is probably not as hale and hearty as she likes to think. ]