URGENT BULLETIN.

[mmnpcs]

[ The following is secured to the network at 9 PM, via an ID that has not been present on it yet, a simple non-interactive bulletin. It will not be responded to, although imPorts are free to engage in discussion amongst themselves. ]

ATTENTION IMPORTS!

It is come to our attention that Unsettled imPorts have been allowed to skirt our regulations regarding what benefits are and aren't received up to this month, which is a dire oversight on the part of your liaisons and supervisors. Upon discovering that the budget for imPort benefits received far exceeded the amount needed for the current amount of Registered imPorts we have on file, further investigation showed that many similar oversights have been provided for non-Registered imPorts off the books that have not been sanctioned by those of us outside of Cape Canaveral.

We are getting to the bottom of this and are making cuts in the budget where they should have been already: Non-Registered imPorts were never meant to be receiving these benefits for as long as they have been. Furthermore, upon questioning your current imPort Affairs Liaison, Captain Parc Holiday, he could not account for every inconsistency we've since discovered and showed some alarming signs of blunted affect and apparent memory gaps; those inconsistencies he claimed he could recall he admitted to committing.

Make no mistake, we in the Federal Government sympathize with the imPort plight, but we cannot afford to let free resources be given out illegally; Captain Holiday does not have the authority to make such decisions. Effective immediately he has been removed from his position as ImPort/Government Affairs Liaison and has been moved into a maximum security psychiatric facility to further study his symptoms. Until we can locate a suitable replacement or Captain Holiday proves himself truly fit to resume his duties, we are promoting Lieutenant Ananke to Captain so she can operate in his stead and will be keeping an eye on the situation as well as her performance to determine what other changes may prove necessary.

- L. Chases
Secretary of Defense

Comments

[acclimatized]

Do you think Nurse Ratched will take good care of him?

[parallels]

Nothing but the highest standard, I'd expect. Make sure he's comfortable.

[acclimatized]

What is going on with this flipping place?

[parallels]

Not to be too obvious but-

Clearly nothing good.

[acclimatized]

Yeah, right.

I can think of a couple of other people who need to be institutionalized. Farage, Cameron, this "L. Chases" but Captain Holiday? Noooo way.

[parallels]

I haven't much contact with him.

Is he a good bloke? Seems like he advocated for us. Hopefully that was altruistic.

[acclimatized]

Yeah, I'd say he was one of the good ones. If you asked him a question, he'd answer it. You don't get many people like that in high positions.

[parallels]

And that's the rub, "was". Short of a prison break or political upheaval, I don't think we're going to get another like him.

[acclimatized]

I didn't mean to use the past tense. Unless we kick up a massive fuss or he starts changing his tune, then who knows? Maybe we can organize a prison break.

[parallels]

Prison break doesn't sound like a bad idea.

[acclimatized]

Great. Can't say I've pulled a prison break before, but it's sort of like a burglary isn't it? On a bigger scale. Huge actually, considering it's a maximum security hospital.

[ a beat ]

If I stop responding suddenly, I think it'll be safe to assume they took this seriously.

[parallels]

Something like that. Put your burglary skills with my prison break skills and we've got a top level team.

[Yes, she did just assume that you've been a burglar before. Sorry John.]

Don't worry. I'll keep watch on you. Ring the alarm if the line goes dead.