video;

[runningstart]

[In costume, ID reads 'Kid Flash.']

Show of hands, show of hands! Who around here knows who Superman is?

...I don't mean like- knows who he is, who he is, I mean knows of the superhero dude. Six foot eight, weighs a freaking ton ♫ I'm kidding, he's not six eight. He's taller.

What about Batman? Wonder Woman? Everybody knows the big three, they're like the holy trinity of punchin' dudes who deserve it. Plus I mean, Wonder Woman, am I right? I'm right. Ultimate justice in a one piece.

Comments

[runningstart]

...okay, does everything you say sound like a come on? Are you doing this on purpose?

[paintjobs]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

[runningstart]

You're definitely doing it on purpose!

[paintjobs]

Are you sure that isn't just wistful thinking? Hmmmm? I wouldn't blame you.

[runningstart]

Y'know, maybe if you were a non-sentient car person who I could take apart and then name something cute like Candy- maybe then. Maybe then I would be okay with it, because I love machines.

But the sentience thing complicates matters a little bit.

[paintjobs]

[ LONG PAUSE, then without any of the previous is-it-flirting-or-is-he-just-in-a-good-mood tone: ] I hope you know how incredibly distasteful that is.

[runningstart]

What-? What? Why, what the heck did I say?! [lets see how far down his throat he can shove his own foot]

[paintjobs]

Here, let me rephrase that for you —

[ in an obviously over the top, lilting voice: ] Oh, fleshies are alright, but I'm not really interested unless I can find a mindless, surgically reconstructible slave to obey my commands.

[runningstart]

Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa- back up- That's not what I meant. I meant regular cars! I like regular cars!

[paintjobs]

Usually I would compliment you on your good taste, but it's a little late for that.

[runningstart]

Oh lord.

Look- Okay. I was not trying to imply that I wanted a- a robot car sex slave incapable of free will. I was trying to say I like cars! I'm sorry.

[paintjobs]

You really have a way with words, Kid Flash.

[runningstart]

God. I'm just gonna stop talking. [He's not seeing a way out of this one.]

[paintjobs]

Good choice. [ but he's drifting back, slowly, from offended into sadistically amused. ] Has anyone ever told you what a good ambassador you would make? You should look into that.

[runningstart]

Hah. Hahahah. You are a hilarious person. [NOT.]