4 ♡ audio

[dragony]

It’s a little late, but happy new year, ImPorts. I hope your gains will be great, and your losses light.

...

And happy anniversary, too. That one’s right on time.

It’s been a pretty rough one, right? I mean, most years are tough, when you go through them, but this one more than most... it’s been a challenge, hasn’t it? I know there’s not too many of us who arrived here last January, but there’s more than that who arrived in February, and March, and each month after that. Your anniversaries are coming up soon, too. The future arrives before you really know it. And the past... it gets further and further away, no matter how much you think about it.

[ It’s a post from Ruka. Did anyone honestly expect it to be cheerful? ]

Maybe it’s that I think too much about this sort of thing, but... not every ImPort gets to celebrate an anniversary. Or, not everyone will. It’s been a year, but we’ve already lost a lot of our comrades along the way. New and old. Even if it’s ExPorts, and even if... some of them will return to their previous lives, it’s still... a loss, for the people that remain here. ... ... It’s hard to find closure, when the gateways to and from this life never seem to close. It’s impossible, almost impossible to know if someone will return—to know if they will be the same person we knew, that they’ll remember us, or hold the same bonds that fastened us together in the first place.

I know there’s a lot of new arrivals. Some are familiar, some aren’t, but I... think it would be good, to take a little bit of time to think about the ones we’ve lost. That have been lost. For you, it might only be one person... or it might be the whole world. To lay them to rest, even if only for a little while. [ Though her speech has been riddled with short pauses, thoughtful breaths for the word to come, this one is more pronounced. Hesitant. ]

I suppose... Well, it’s not much of a confession, when I say I know what it feels like, is it? Going on like this. But... if yours is something you want to talk about, you can talk to me.

I’ll be here.

Comments

[yatagarasu]

[Kay can sympathize, especially after her boyfriend of all people was Ported out. And while she has two people from home keeping her company here, they're...not exactly the versions she knew presently at her point in time. But she wouldn't count that as a loss. At least they were familiar faces.]

I think of them. I've...actually been thinking about them more often. And speaking of anniversaries, mine is already three months away.

[dragony]

[ Boyfriends do that a lot. ]

The people you've left behind? Or the ones that have left you, here.

[ The downside of knowing more about the situations of people than they have any reason to suspect, is that there's no real way to offer sympathy. ]

Or both?

[yatagarasu]

[There is a short pause.]

Both. I think of both of them...but I've thought of the latter more often recently.

[dragony]

What do you think about? About them.

[ Cautiously leading. ]

[yatagarasu]

Well...I always think about the good times we've had together. The good memories. Sometimes the bad, actually. [It's true. Just remembering the good parts didn't seem right. It didn't seem to do them justice, because even the not-so-good experiences were a part of those people.]

I think about how I miss them...but also how they probably belong more in their home worlds than here.

video;

[hoboagogo]

[A decidedly more somber variant of the 'anniversary' spiel. He's quiet for a moment, before shrugging and responding.]

...Yeah, it's been pretty crazy since showing up. [Between the 'kidnapped and forced to fight Annie and rotting her arm through' thing, and the various bombings and attacks. Hornets and politics and so much that's way too big for him to wrap his mind around.]

The leader've the team back home showed up for a few weeks and then got ported back home recently, but he's got some important shit to do there. So it makes sense he couldn't stay. [And yes, he knows he's attributing willfulness where they isn't any, reason and logic when the fact is it's always random and never for any reason that people are chosen to be ported in or out.]

I figure it'd be harder if it wasn't someone I knew back home. [That much is an honest confession.] 'Cause if they come back and don't remember, that's it. Back to square one. And that'll be awkward as hell for them.

Re: video;

[dragony]

There are a lot of bad ways it can go, when someone comes back. [ Agreeing, in soft tones. ] For them and for you.

Is he someone you've known for a long time? The leader of the team.

[hoboagogo]

Yeah, I can imagine. You're one that's been here for a long while, right? That happen often?

[Though he folds his arms casually, glancing down to the top of the table that the comm is resting on.] ....Not really. Maybe a couple weeks. I met him a time or two before that, too.

[But he was still the leader of SEES and had proven himself immensely capable- and had Shinjiro's trust in combat, and had the sheer balls to approach him here and be straight up about how he'd screwed up back home.] I respect the hell out've him, though. And I know Aki was glad to see another familiar face here. He knew Arisato for a while longer than I did.

[dragony]

Yeah, now and then. Different time periods are the worst, I think--when it's someone you know well, but they haven't met you yet, or they're years beyond what you experienced.

Have many of your comrades been like that? People you've known in your own world, for such a short time.

video;

[redhairring]

It depends, [ she muses, small frown on her face. ] There are some people that we've lost that I'm glad are gone. [ that might rhyme with Cannibal Hector. good riddance. ]

I published that article about the end of the world back in the City, by the way. I can shoot you a link if you want to read it.

audio;

[dragony]

Not every loss is a detriment. That's very true. For you, is it people you've known well? Or... the sorts that cause trouble for everyone?

I would like that

audio;

[redhairring]

Both, in his case.

[ and also, attached to this comment, is a link to tattlecrime so Ruka can view the article herself. ]

audio;

[dragony]

[ While skimming: ]

Did anybody tell you where the City was? Geographically, I mean.

voice

[runningstart]

You've been here a while, huh? Not just here-here, but from the City before.

audio;

[dragony]

Yes, that's right. My real anniversary is next month.

[ There's only the slightest edge of evasion: she doesn't like telling people exactly how long unless they ask. (The answer is frequently too depressing to the other person to hear.) ]

audio;

[runningstart]

Oh wow, I was just guessing. I'm awesome.

So like- you've been here for years? Here meaning not home. 'Cause I know someone else who's been here for years, and that's kind of- I mean, it's pretty hard to imagine.

[dragony]

Yes. After a while, you get used to the most unusual parts of it, and everything else follows. Things are actually a little less hectic than they could be.

Video

[motherflocker]

A hefty subject, isn't it? The fact that people leave and stay? That's the problem if you're too attached.

I recommend approaching this with the idea that it's all temporary -- but you delight in playing therapist, don't you?

audio;

[dragony]

I... wouldn't say I delight in it, no. And I definitely wouldn't call it playing therapist...

[ Everyone who works in the mental health field is fucking nuts and probably tries to kill people, duh. ]

But I'm sure even those who don't get attached, like to have someone really listen to them, every now and then.

audio;

[motherflocker]

That's what therapists are for, I assume? After all, you're not being paid for the esteemed honor, why would you bother?

[ The picture of selfishness. ]

Personally, I've found better things to do with my time than bother with the lives of our dearly imported. It's too much of a bother.

[dragony]

Not every reward comes with a check.

[ shrug. ]

It's fine if that's the way you feel. After all, we're hardly the same sort of people, are we? So, it's alright to me, if it seems like a strange choice to you.

[earnedmystripes]

Man, time sure does fly.

[It'll be his turn next month...or in March, if he doesn't count the month he ported out.]

Happy anniversary, Ruka.

[He hopes he can quietly sidestep the issue of lost people, because the only one he's lost here is back but doesn't remember, and that makes him like ten thousand kinds of uncomfortable.]

[dragony]

My real one is next month. This is just when the first of us arrived in this world.

[ It's also the anniversary of a loss -- they both are. But hahaha bringing that up ever. ]

Yours is coming up, too, isn't it?

[earnedmystripes]

Go figure, mine too.

[He grins, mildly.]

Unless you count the month I was ported out, then it's in March.

[dragony]

I usually don't, for a time as short as that.

It gets too difficult to keep track.