001. text. anonymous.

[bosewicht]

i know some people came here with these powers from their home world.
but some of us didn't. some of us were normal, until we weren't. and i know i can't be the only one who is afraid of what we were given.

why do we have these powers?
to make us useful? to keep us in line?

and is there any way we can shut it off?

( disclaimer )

video;

[glitterateur]

[Oh good, it’s Mabel Pines. This bodes well! What doesn’t bode well is that she’s outside the mess that is Heropa 18, wearing a sweet helmet and with two piles of junk sitting on the front lawn visible in the frame. Piles of junk that might, in a galaxy long ago and far away, be a “pod racer.” Except these definitely have more rockets attached to the sides. Like, an excessive amount of rockets.]

Hey guys! Mabel Pines here-- oh and Dipper! [Who waves distractedly at the camera as he puts the finishing touches on his racer.] We just wanted to remind everybody to save the date. The date being August 31st! ‘Cause it’s our birthday and it’s gonna be a celebonanzapalooza to be remembered. We’ll be celebrating being fourteen-- totally seasoned teenagers!-- in major style. And all of you are invited!

[In the background, the pod racers gently lift off the ground. There's a faint humming noise and a weird glow. This actually looks like it might work?? Dipper gives Mabel a thumbs up and adjusts his helmet, only for one of the racers to make an alarming pinging sound and suddenly list to one side. He smacks something and everything straightens out.]

We really do mean all, even you new people! Every imPort’s a friend of the Pines family, except for that one guy and he knows who he is. Come by, say hi, get cake! Bring presents.

[Dipper nods at Mabel, and the twins snap on some sweet goggles in synch. Several pigs with fire extinguishers in their mouths stand at attention. Mabel makes to turn off the camera before she remembers--]

--and if you’re in Heropa we’re sorry about the noise!

[Mabel gives a jaunty wave and the camera turns off as they hop in their racers. The people of Heropa will get treated to some alarming drag racing noises and some minor explosions in the next few minutes. Everyone else-- hey, you’re invited to a party! If the kids are still alive to host it!]

[Video]

[guywithaplan]

[ Many may remember the cherub face of the man in the purple suit from the previous month's swear-in. He's looking more thoughtful, not grim, but if there's a smile there it's being held back like a punch line. ]

So, ah--

[ He's got a pair of swimming goggles resting in his curly (and notably dry) hair like a headband. A whistle hangs around his neck and over his partially bare chest -- he's also in a tank top bearing the familiar logo of a familiar water park, as well as the word "LIFEGUARD" emblazoned across the front. ]

--Asking questions is important. Even when you're an army guy with a clipboard just trying to shuffle out the latest ImPorts as quickly as possible.

[ He stops like he's flubbed a line, a little smile cracks through then. When he redirects, he gesticulates a lot with his hands. ]

So -- say you're interviewing somebody for a position here. [ He smartly holds up the shirt a little so the logo is more visible. ] What's probably the first question you should ask 'em before their first day on the job?

[ "First day on the job," you might be thinking? Come on, he's been here at least a month; you mean he hasn't reported in, in all that time, until NOW?

He allows for a requisite amount of dead air, eyes glancing to the side as he leans his ear close, like he's listening for an answer. No? Ah, well. ]

Say it with me, kids: "Can you swim?"


(OOC: Important note -- one of the Joker's powers is the ability to manipulate paint, which includes the ability to make his face look normal and unscarred [see the link in the early part of the post], as evidenced in earlier threads. This is how he'll normally appear unless it's otherwise noted in threads!)