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[heartlessglitch]

I require an explanation.

[ Danger holds up a little handwritten note, on which a series of ones and zeroes is written out neatly in elegant purple script. The note reads: 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100101 00101110, which may or may not mean anything to anyone besides herself. ]

I have been told that this is what humans call a "valentine."
I assume this is in reference to the commercial holiday, which I find to be both wasteful and beside the point.

[ She finally lowers the note. Even in her metal body, her face is clearly unamused-- possibly borderline suspicious. ]

Perhaps it is simply that my understanding of human courting methods is lacking.
But I fail to see how this is "romantic."
Particularly when the sender remains anonymous.
And I am uncertain how to respond.

Comments

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Mocking, deadpan, and tonally rude:]

Beep boop.

[heartlessglitch]

Perhaps I should have clarified that the one individual whose opinion I am uninterested in is you.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Danger, now, now. No need for such a passionate response. [A beat, and he smirks.] What would your anonymous binary-literate friend think?

[heartlessglitch]

I find it difficult to classify someone faceless as my friend.
Is your purpose at this moment simply to mock me, or do you in fact have something useful to contribute, Doctor?

[slightlyoffchilt]

I always have useful things to contribute, but rarely do people think to inquire as to what.

[Woah, sounding a bit petulant there, Frederick.]

[heartlessglitch]

You have my invitation to be useful then.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well now I don't want to, given that you've been so impolite. And to think, this event could have stimulated your personal project.

[He isn't rude enough to explicitly talk about their agreement, thankfully.]

[heartlessglitch]

You are being unnecessarily difficult, Doctor.
Yet I am unsurprised.

1/2

[slightlyoffchilt]

All you have to do is apologize.

[slightlyoffchilt]

To me.

[heartlessglitch]

No.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Why should I help you elucidate your sender's psychological state, then?

[heartlessglitch]

"You are mine."

[heartlessglitch]

Remind me, precisely, what it is you believe that I should be apologizing to you for, Doctor.

[heartlessglitch]

Naturally I have compiled a list of acquaintances who may possibly be responsible.
But that is mere calculation of probability based on what I know of them.
It is impossible to say for certain.
Perhaps it is not someone that I in fact know.
Perhaps it is even simply a prank.

[heartlessglitch]

Acknowledged.
However I am particular about understanding things that are relevant to me.
I somewhat dislike both surprises and mysteries.

[slightlyoffchilt]

You're always so hostile towards me, even when I [think I'm] simply being funny.

[heartlessglitch]

[ flatly: ]

I have a poor sense of humor.

[slightlyoffchilt]

[He sighs, ever the martyr of his own device.]

I suppose I can accept that. It's a pygmy of an apology, but I suppose.

[heartlessglitch]

A fair enough assessment, Officer.
I find the possibility of gaining some relevant knowledge still worth the endeavor.
If it were you, would you not want to understand as well?

[heartlessglitch]

Good.
Then I assume you will proceed to being useful.

[heartlessglitch]

Thank you, Officer.
Is your advice the result of experience?

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[boobwindow]

[ ID reads Karen Starr.

A puzzled woman peers closely into her feed before pulling back to shake her head. ]

I don't know if that's thoughtful or plain tacky.

private

[slightlyoffchilt]

Have you considered that your sender might be watching, right now? Or is that your angle?

[heartlessglitch]

Unfortunately, binary is not particularly useful for deciphering tone.
Assuming the sender is organic, do humans often express romantic sentiments this way?