maskormenace | 007 ♍ video ♍ backdated to early afternoon

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007 ♍ video ♍ backdated to early afternoon

[ it's been a while since kanaya has been on video, and a while since she's felt presentable enough to be. but here, in whatever office she's working in, she seems to have taken all the necessary effort, pink lipstick and earrings to match her ever-inexplicable reading glasses. visible signs of guilt have never been her style, too much a ploy for attention. too pitiful. she's stable enough now to not make that mistake again.

never one to waste time not multitasking, even while she speaks, she's shuffling and organizing a stack of papers. desk work may be a little dull, but at least it's legal and safe. ]

I suppose recent events demand an accounting of the truth, some settling of where exactly it lies. And that file that was leaked about me, of course, is all true. The bit about Hobgoblin is no surprise to anyone who's been paying attention, but the multiple murders? Yes, that also was me.

And I stand by each of them, bereft of context as they are. I'm not the sort who'd only talk about the morals behind it, after all. I'm not here to defend myself, either. That the information was publicized is one matter, but I think the why of it is more important to discuss.

[ she doesn't stop shuffling papers, but she moves her main focus to the camera, only glancing down every now and then to what she's doing, to make sure it's being sorted correctly. ]

It's easy to point the finger at the Hornets. They were the instigating factor, of course, spreading whatever mental infection they'd concocted to act through us as their agents. It's what they did that had me railing against us, both through physical action and the propagation of an agenda to establish the danger imPort powers presents. [ conveniently, or perhaps loyally, leaving out inumuta's name. if people know, they know, but she doesn't have to drag his name through the mud alongside her. ] Not something I'd have chosen to do, an yet, it happened. But, here on the other side, left to my own thoughts without anyone else's encroaching them, I have to wonder. Didn't they have something of a point?

As imPorts, we are a gun that is not only loaded, but recently found smoking. Certainly, the government can advocate as they like, say that we were victims just the same as anyone on the other end of that gun, but I think that insults those endangered by our proximity. We are dangerous, and simply because we hesitate to pull that trigger ourselves, that doesn't mean it isn't possible for another to pull it for us. Something must be done for that.

[ she puts a halt to her paper pushing, knitting her fingers under her chin. this part is important, and she wants them to know it. she isn't here to argue, not today, so if she can reduce the arguments with a few words, she can hopefully avoid them. ]

Now, in order to properly address what I am saying, let's first get out of the way what I'm not. The Hornets weren't right, there is a difference between being right and having a point. They were just as dangerous to this world and its people as we are, and perhaps more so, for their willingness to fire the weapon regardless of the damage. They lacked the self awareness to recognize their own toxicity, which is where we must be better than them.

[ she spreads her hands, braking their clasp. ] I'm also not saying that mandatory nullification should be initiated across the board. Not now that I'm speaking clearly and singularly, at least. Nick Alford felt otherwise, but...extremities of that sort are hardly the first place to leap to. But I do believe some oversight is necessary, and I no more trust the government's capability nor willingness than I did when I first registered. Less so, if anything, with their response to recent matters.

We have to be better. We have to find true, solid solutions to promise we will be better. This is something we should be considering and discussing. Even if the blame isn't necessarily ours, the responsibility for addressing the aftermath is. We're meant to be populated with a number of brilliant minds, why not put them to use?

[ resting her chin in one hand, she props an elbow up on the desk, staring off thoughtfully. ] Maybe some kind of defense against mental compromise, [ she taps a finger against her temple. ] that would be a good first step. Just don't make it ugly.

[ she takes a moment to reexamine her papers, then reaches over to shut off the recording before continuing. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I suppose...the ones inn the best position to do that bullying. But any system we built should be more specifically focused on imPorts, I think. It would be a bit presumptuous of us to think it's our place to dictate the rest.

[ Hmmm. ]

So...How do we keep them in check, then? I mean, honestly - that runs the risk of swinging too far the opposite direction, doesn't it? If you strip people of their freedoms, they start getting resentful. And resentment builds up over time. I know in my world, that's resulted in a lot of unpleasantness, no less than the strong oppressing the weak.

[ And, for what it's worth - ]

Which isn't a criticism of your idea. At all. That's just me being frustrated over the fact that it seems like there aren't any right answers, ever, in any world ever.

Did I say anything about stripping away freedoms? I think it only runs the risk of swinging that way if you're swinging wildly. All I'm discussing is organized monitoring and response directed toward imPort crime.

[ which isn't to say she wouldn't advocate stripping more freedoms, or just things that are taken for granted as freedoms, but she's trying to be evenhanded. she doesn't care to hear all the whining she'd get if she said everything she really thinks. ]

What did you think I was suggesting?

[ She shakes her head, but points out - ]

Whenever you restrict someone's ability to do what they want to - including to others - that's taking away freedom. Generally, that's a good sort of freedom to take away, sure. But I've known people who were furious that the government wouldn't let them kill people.

[ Revolutions take all kinds. Including idiot anarchists. ]

[ oh, she can't really fault them for that one. not that she wouldn't anyway, if she thought it was necessary. ]

There's no helping entitled morons, I suppose. Those are the sort who are most in need of being leashed, I think. There's always some trouble they'll bring up, especially if they're vouching for a freedom that will only cause suffering to others.

Maybe.

[ A sigh. ]

I do not have the patience to be a political thinker, honestly. I don't understand how others are able to do it.

Necessity demands it be done, and I don't trust a majority of those who will see to that need without someone glancing over their shoulder.

Letting your blood run hot and banishing systems you disapprove of is all well and good, but someone has to be there to see to the vacuum it leaves. Someone has to consider the consequences.

I'd hate to have it left to the wrong sort of someone.

[ A little shrug. ]

The sorts of people who see a necessity for a new system, though, and the sorts of people who are willing to tear it down - they're not necessarily the same sorts of people as those who know how to build up a new system, though. Yeah, someone's got to be there, and someone's got to see to the consequences, but the people who can do that probably aren't going to be the same people who tear a bad system down.

No, it wouldn't surprise me if they weren't. But there is a need for both, if anything will be ultimately accomplished. Thought needs to be made both towards revolution and politics, battles fought on both fronts.

You may not understand how one could cultivate that patience, but I'm sure you must understand why you'll need someone with that patience in your alignment.

[ Her smile turns a little subdued. And she says, a little gently - not lecturing Kanaya, just reminding her: ]

I do have experience. With the whole process of changing regimes. So...Yeah, I understand.

[ kanaya blinks at her once, twice, her brows furrowing together. she wouldn't have said it if she didn't think it needed to be said. ]

Do you?

Every indication you've given, since first arrival, implies that the only experience you have is with the initial stages. Not actually tearing down the old regime, but just planning it. It's really the only facet of the process I've ever heard you address.

That's because that's the part I'm involved in. That I can be involved in. [ She shrugs; that's not self-recrimination, just an awareness of where her talents lie. She's a revolutionary, rather than a ruler. ] But I work at a place that hosts a salon, you might call it - we've got weekly meetings where people from commoner's groups discuss what they'll do after the revolution, while avoiding discussion of how the revolution will actually come about. Which is why I've dedicated myself to those early stages.

[ And then she lifts her eyebrows, just a touch, and says - again, more gently than anything else, not in an effort to scold Kanaya as much as to just assert her own self-assurance and self-confidence: ]

I've been at this for six years. I'd have to be awfully thick not to have spent any of that time considering what's got to come after my part's done.

[ she glances off to the side, raising her shoulders in a reluctant shrug. maybe she has taken for granted that kitty is that thick, and maybe sometimes it's better when she's wrong that way. ]

Well, when you tell me you don't understand something, I'm not going to be certain of the extent of it. Best to cover one's bases.

Still, knowing your strengths and your limitations, those are always commendable qualities. They are prudent to recognize, in a coalition like that. [ this is her trying to be nice, trying to counter all those times she's called her stupid with a recognition of something that most certainly isn't.

she's trying, at least. ]

[ A few kind words like that are enough for Kitty to relax - not because she needs the flattery, exactly, but really more because it's a sign of detente. So she relaxes enough to slip into semi-ironic arrogance: ]

Too right it's prudent. Especially since I'm quite certain that some of my ideas are really going to move us forward in terms of actual progress. But afterwards, if I got shut up indoors day after day in some council I'd probably end up strangling our new prime minister in frustration and that would probably end up undoing everything I did to help.

[ and detente is the main motivation. she may not quite trust kitty enough to consider her a potential comrade, but that kind of hostility takes so much energy, and if she needs to bleed out some of her negativity. her life has had far too much, and most of it comes from herself.

it may only be a small step, but it is in fact a step. ]

That would be something to be careful about. Before you knew it, you might have someone else following in your footsteps, talking about how a new revolution is needed.

[ A wry little shrug. ]

Well, we might end up being quite shitty at what we do, in which case that'll be their right, I think.

[ Then, with less humor: ] I mean, that's to be expected, though, isn't it. It's how the world's gone, time and again - revolution to counter-revolution, the growth of empires followed by their decline and fall, which leaves a vacuum for the next one. The history of the world can be traced like the tides, every turn marked by the ebbing and flowing of power. What I want is to cut a new channel for those tides. To set some example of a revolution fought with fewer lives lost. With less reliance on slavery and on coercion. So that maybe in the years to come, the turns of power that follow will be gentler as well. So that the revolutionary that kicks my government out of power does so with a vote and a coalition instead of with a murder. And so that the government that they build gives a voice to the people - and spirits - who can't just force others to listen.

Though I should think you'd usually prefer the turnaround not to be so quick. It could be that sort of coup isn't due to believe that yours hadn't done enough.

Maybe their dissatisfaction stems from the fact that you did anything at all.

[ Kitty makes a dissatisfied little noise. After that speech, she'd hoped that Kanaya might join her in engaging with the bigger issues, the stuff she cares about, the roots of violence and how to shift people's orientation away from it...Instead, more of what she hates, chattering on about how to hold power and what to do with power and all that.

Oh, well. ]

Well, if it happens, that may well be a reason. But I think that we might be getting a little bit far ahead of ourselves, since we haven't even had the coup yet, let alone a counter-coup.

[ unfortunately, revolutions aren't really something she's interested enough in the think about ways to make them bloodless. she's skeptical that it's really possible, when the changes are that big.

she can't imagine anyone in power simply stepping aside when that power becomes damaging, especially giving the sort of reasons that generally happens. the best way to prevent bloodshed, in her mind, is to find a way to keep the revolution from being necessary, and that depends on whoever's already on the throne. ]

Of course. But even planning the coup for another world is getting a bit ahead as well, I think. You'd first need to ensure that those memories can cross the dimensional threshold.

[ That's a fair point. So: ]

Maybe.

[ But: ]

But if I can't have something to look forward to, I'll go mad. Or lose all hope. I'm not sure which would be worse. So anticipating endless squabbling does nothing for my motivation. Looking forward to breaking their power and freeing their slaves, on the other hand...That can keep me going.

I think people tend to overrate hope. If it's the last thing to cling to, than you don't have much of anything left when you lose all else.

It's a crutch more than anything. A blinder to reality.

[ This is going well, and Kitty wants to keep it going well - but she's so taken aback by that that she can't help herself - ]

That's a joke, right?

I joke about a lot of things, Kitty. Hope isn't one of them, it's too dangerous for that.

[ wh
a
whY ARE YOU SUCH A CRAZY PERSON ]

I'm sorry, that's completely mad. Dangerous? It's - First off, no one is not going to have hope. It's just a basic fact that everyone will be hopeful in some way, even if it's just for...being given an extra biscuit by mistake in the lunch line. And that's just a fact of what life is. It's how the brain works so that it isn't shattered by everything bad that happens. There are horrid, painful things in the past and in the present, and they stay with us much more intensely than the good things; hope is what keeps us from going mad with the pain of them, because it lets us focus on the future. It's not even...It's a mechanism for coping.

And it's also what's resulted in anything good in this world and any other one. "Blinders to" - God, I can't even remember your exact phrasing, it was so mad. Hope means staying motivated to make changes, do things. Otherwise, the only way things get done is by habit or out of spite, and neither of those things are any way to break away from the evils of the past. They'll just keep things the same or make them worse. Hope is a mechanism for building up these rotten, broken worlds we come from. It's the only way change happens.

[ She has more to say, but cuts herself off to let out a grunt of frustration instead. ]

Sorry. I don't mean to lecture you, but that's just so - backwards.

Edited 2015-04-10 11:09 (UTC)

[ she's such a crazy person because she's so completely and utterly hopeless. it takes utter madness to keep one going in her circumstances. ]

It isn't backwards, you've just never seen the other side of it.

Living without hope isn't impossible, I know because I've been doing it for years. Though I guess It's a bit rich for a member of the undead to call what she does "living". Lacking it doesn't mean one stops trying, but it does mean she doesn't take her eventual victory for granted. That you describe it as a motivation is precisely what I mean when I call it a crutch, if it were then there wouldn't be much walking without. And perhaps that isn't inaccurate, but we at least have the bullheadedness to crawl. Because the odds will never be in our favor, and we'll need to recognize just how great a effort will be necessary to compensate. It means fighting harder, because there is no other option.

I can't say there isn't an absence of spite to it, but there must be some level of spite to everything. I get up in the morning in spite of the multitudinous reasons I probably shouldn't. When victory isn't an option, you can either give up or you can die fighting. Which do you really expect that you would choose, in my position?