[Audio]

[goblinish]

Everyone, anyone. [ Said like it's a commonly used greeting. ]

[ The man sounds cheerful, energetic, and mildly perplexed. ] Some help would be appreciated--nothing major, I'm just trying to find a condiment. I've been to multiple stores in Maurtia Falls and asked the employees, but I cannot find any garum. This is unacceptable, because humanish food tastes strange enough as it is. I know there's some out there, somewhere--there has to be! It's the one thing humans and goblins could always agree on: rotting fish tastes amazing.

I really don't know where else to ask. You're from all sorts of places, I'm sure someone can help me out here. In case the problem is just that I'm using the wrong name for it: what I'm talking about is fermented fish juice.


((OOC: aaaand just in case your character might know but you don't, or if you're just curious: garum.))

Comments

[goblinish]

Shapeshifter? Huh.

Yes, sometimes we choose to withdraw if our talents aren't properly appreciated. [ Humans, why you fight back? Why you no let goblins rule you with an iron fist? :'( Oh sure, there are advantages to the situation, but still. Rude, humans. Rude. ]

[abduxel]

What talents are those? I never quite figured it out. Besides hiding.

[goblinish]

Primarily? Improving the general quality of the place. More specific talents depend on the individual goblin. [ He shrugs. ]

So we're good at hiding, where you're from? Actually hiding, or is this just one of those "no one else can see in the dark" situations?

[abduxel]

I don't really have a clue. I'm going to go with actually hiding, or maybe you go invisible. I should be asking you, shouldn't I? Although you might be a different sort of goblin. What do you normally look like?

[goblinish]

Invisible? ...Have you ever seen these goblins of yours? Invisibility's possible, don't get me wrong; some of us are skilled with magic. But it's also possible you've been imagining quite a lot.

It varies between goblins of course, but I'm... I was considered pretty average--before this "porter" business--so I'll just describe myself. About so tall [ he motions to somewhere above his current height--a completely useless exercise over the communicator, which he seems to realize a moment later, and adds: ] 4 cubits or so. Nose about [ he does a vague motion again, but at least this time it's in comparison to something Matthew can actually see (Avinin's current human nose). He seems to be indicating roughly 4 inches long. ]. Blue skin, black hair, yellow eyes that glow in the dark. Hm... sharp teeth, black claws, been told I've got a very "spidery" build... What else...

[ He considers. ]

Our feet aren't these ridiculous meaty slabs like humans? I'd never realized just how useless human feet really were before. [ Talking feet in public is kind of gauche, but meh... He feels like complaining about the stupid feet he has now. With luck this "shapeshifter" business will remove Matthew far enough from the equation that he won't be too offended by the dislike of human feet. ]

[abduxel]

[He breaks into a little smirk.] I've seen goblins! Well, I think. Out of the corner of my eye.

[He shakes his head at the description.] Goblins where I'm from are pseudo-intelligent little wretches. A third the size of a person, thieving tricksters. Must not be the same sort of goblin as you are.

[He isn't genuinely offended by the feet comment, but frowns a little.] What's wrong with feet? Are yours more useful usually? I guess they could do with thumbs or something.

[goblinish]

Oh really! You think, out of the corner of your eye. If that isn't rock-solid evidence, why, I just don't know what is. [ He rolls his eyes, just in case his sarcasm flew over Matthew's head.

He looks mildly amused at the description of Matthew's so-called "goblins". ] I'm still not convinced you haven't imagined these things completely.

What's wrong with human feet? They're basically flippers, on a non-aquatic species, with the wondrous addition of useless little nubs of toes at the edge. Goblin toes comprise the majority of our feet, thereby making the things usable. Even if humans had foot-thumbs--which is ill-considered, they'd get in the way of walking--no one could use them because the other toes aren't long enough to be able to do anything, let along grab an opponent after a kick.

[abduxel]

I have some very trusted friends who swear they've met them. [He's aware how flimsy this is, and says it almost like he's joking, as it's something he's just blindly believed and never really bothered to question.]

[On-screen, he's looking down, obviously examining his own off-screen feet.]

You know, I've thought about it, in the context of shapeshifting. Paws and claws are really a lot more useful. You should put in an upgrade request. If the porter can change you from a goblin to a human, then surely they can improve the design as well.

[goblinish]

[ Avinin smiles indulgently. ] Mm-hmm. [ The "sure thing, sweetie, whatever you say" is strongly implied. ]

You'd think if it could turn me human, it could also just change me back. [ Irritated scowl. Stupid porter-thing. ] That's my preferred solution.

[abduxel]

If I had to say, I'd tell you that you look just fine as you are now. But that's only my opinion.