Video; forward dated to the 6th

[angelfire]

[ Okay, he's bored. Where are the tumbling heroics? Where's the challenge? Lucifer is here - back - whatever, taking time out from recording his show to hang out on the network with you fascinating examples of God's greatest mistakes. He sets up his camera, which shows off the back of a chair that reads 'Lucifer' in broad black writing. The background is a handsome looking church, with stained glass windows, long red carpets, and hanging red drapes that tumble down the broad pillars. Huge bouquets of summer flowers decorate the altars and tumble out of the planters beside the pews, and light pours in through the round feature window. For once, Lucifer - when he takes his seat - is groomed, dressed in a neat black on black suit, and finished with silver fish shaped cufflinks and everything. He looked the part of the villain, the businessman; the schemer. A charismatic cult leader. Or well...like a guy in a sharp suit. He counted off on his fingers: ]

Pestilence. War. Famine. [ And he touched his fourth finger, then looked puzzled at the camera. ] Well, would you look at that. Four horsemen, not three. No prizes to anyone who guesses the last one.

[ He reaches into his breast pocket, removing a simple silver ring very carefully, propped it on his thumbnail and then flicked it. Flicked Death's ring clean into the air, then snatched his hand up and caught it. ] One left.

[ He leaned very slightly forward, speaking as though he were sharing a secret. ] Don't worry your head about it, my darling. I wouldn't dream of giving this thing to just anyone, but its multiversal owner really will have to come fetch it back before I'm tempted. To do what? Who knows? I'm mercurial like that. Sammmmy, come on out to play. It's been forever.

[ Lucifer's attention was broken by his accepting a clipboard and signing off on something on it. ] Chicken soup again? [ A nod from the assistant. ] Good. It's wonderful for the soul.

[ And then he's left to continue with his video, and he rolls his eyes pointedly. ] The fault really lies with you, kiddos. All that anger and repression, it'll mess you right up. But for the sake of argument, I think it's fair to say 'I predict a riot'. Accurate? Why don't we talk it out, hm?

Comments

[ferrisbuellean]

Nope. Just work as normal. You know how it is, gotta keep moving to get the best footage.

[angelfire]

Stagnation is definitely killer.

[ferrisbuellean]

Yup. Totally the only killer.

[angelfire]

Oh, I wouldn't say that, but it's up there with cancer.

[ferrisbuellean]

Sure. And things like war.

[angelfire]

Who do you blame when there's an outbreak of ebola, or tuberculosis? When a crop fails, thanks to the poor weather? Do you blame Death for doing her job?
The same applies to war. You can only really place the blame on something larger than yourself; something divine.

[ferrisbuellean]

And here I thought we only had ourselves to blame. It's great to know we can pass the buck so easyily.

[angelfire]

Ultimately God gave flaws to all of us.
Yours are just...more.

[ferrisbuellean]

Yours as in humans or yours as in me personally? Because I have literally no flaws other than being human.

[Other than being delusional.]

[angelfire]

Yours as in humankind. I know you're a flawless beast, Jeff Winger.

[ferrisbuellean]

Good. But I guess you've always had good taste. Except with Justin Bieber because I can only assume he's some sort of Satanic spawn.

[angelfire]

I don't take responsibility for anything Canadian. Justin Bieber, Alanis Morisette. Not. My. Fault.

[ferrisbuellean]

Always blame the Canadians. What about the Kardashians. You gonna try blame them on someone else too?

[angelfire]

And Jeremy Kyle, Judge Judy and Donald Trump. Humanity is more evil than I could ever be.

[ferrisbuellean]

You just help it along.

[angelfire]

Not usually personally. But sometimes you know if you want something done...

[ferrisbuellean]

If you want something done you pass it down to minions and hope they don't notice?

[He's not bitter at all. Nope.]

[angelfire]

They'll thank me in the morning.

[ferrisbuellean]

I don't think they will.

[angelfire]

Or at least at next week's bi-quarterly.

finally private!

[ferrisbuellean]

You lied! Which I actually have no problem with! But you lied to me and that's not cool.

[angelfire]

Jeffrey, I'm the Prince of Lies. But I didn't lie to you, I really only told you a part of the truth.
You were a part of something special. And don't tell me you didn't get a kick out of it.

[ferrisbuellean]

That isn't relevant!

[He totally did, but that's because he's a power hungry control freak who loves attention.]

The issue here is the manipulation.

[angelfire]

You're upset that I manipulated you?

[ferrisbuellean]

No, I'm really happy about it.