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[heavyhitter]

ok so last year i was probably too drunk to ask about this but THIS YEAR someones gotta solve the mystery for me
so 4th of july is fuck yeah suck it mom to england, right, everyone knows that
but whats the fireworks
u cant tell me u won and someone happened to have a bunch of fireworks in his pocket and got a great idea
so whered it come from??? does it represent blowing up england because i dont think u did that. does it represent blowing up the us?? i dont think that happened either but maybe, my history is rusty

also if ur english do u just walk around feeling real annoyed today? or maybe real smug like yeah thanks for the reminder about the bullet we dodged

also also is anyone making burgers today, if so i wanna invite myself to ur party

Comments

[heavyhitter]

wtf america U COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE EXCITING
hey do we ever get history guys in here? like could he show up? because if so we got a job to do

[airshow]

Good question! I mean we have LITERAL SATAN hanging around now, so anything's possible.

Except it'd be really weird if sexy teenage Abraham Lincoln showed up or something.

[heavyhitter]

wait we do? oh shit where was i

[airshow]

Good question.
Doing something more fun than hassling the devil, I hope.

[heavyhitter]

were U hassling the devil? because im gonna need to know all about that

[airshow]

Ehhh, this one mostly seemed interested in wrangling a souvenir out of my trip to Key West.
Not a fan of googly eyes or fun novelty hats, apparently.

But I have in fact hassled devils in the past!
I daresay I'm a semi-professional devil-hassler.

[heavyhitter]

now theres a devil i can empathize with
btw did u get me anything

[airshow]

Sorry, hangovers are non-transferrable.

[heavyhitter]

u just wish they were, hangovers find me and roll over and give up

[airshow]

Is that your superpower?

[heavyhitter]

no its my natural charm and grace

[airshow]

I'm not a doctor, but something about that doesn't sound right.

[heavyhitter]

ok i guess its just my personal talent
they say everyone has one

[airshow]

I hope it takes you far in life!
I also hope you have a bionic liver.

[heavyhitter]

no complaints so far! and if my liver was gonna whine it really shouldve done it in vegas

[airshow]

HA
I guess anything after that must seem like rookie stuff.
How's Vegas in this universe? Anything notably weird? Or just regular Vegas weird? I gotta know!

[heavyhitter]

ur asking the wrong person, that was my first vegas trip
drinks are free in all the casinos and the girls are all pretty tho, so it was probably on track to being normal

[airshow]

Awww, man, I was hoping for something all Cold War weird and exciting.
A magic show where commies get eaten by tigers or something.
KIND OF A BUMMER.

[heavyhitter]

didnt see any of that but honestly i wasnt at too many magic shows, maybe i missed it
u never know! ull have to go and see for urself huh

[airshow]

If anyone gets fed to a tiger I'll absolutely film it.
You'll be the first to know!

[heavyhitter]

ur a good friend
james
or whatever