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[heavyhitter]

ok so last year i was probably too drunk to ask about this but THIS YEAR someones gotta solve the mystery for me
so 4th of july is fuck yeah suck it mom to england, right, everyone knows that
but whats the fireworks
u cant tell me u won and someone happened to have a bunch of fireworks in his pocket and got a great idea
so whered it come from??? does it represent blowing up england because i dont think u did that. does it represent blowing up the us?? i dont think that happened either but maybe, my history is rusty

also if ur english do u just walk around feeling real annoyed today? or maybe real smug like yeah thanks for the reminder about the bullet we dodged

also also is anyone making burgers today, if so i wanna invite myself to ur party

Comments

[ text ]

[enucleation]

Aren't they just for festivity?

[heavyhitter]

idk are they?? thats what im asking here
im gonna be disappointed if the answer is just "its fun"

permatext

[deadtective]

British people hate fun. Is there anything more fun than fireworks? Nooope.

There you go, mystery solved. And for free, even.

[heavyhitter]

oh shit so prompt and thorough, what a detective. u really should charge

[airshow]

Nah, actually, it goes back to the very first Independence Day
When the founding fathers got the express pony-gram that the US won
So they whipped off their powdered wigs and threw them in the air to celebrate and BAM!!!

Turns out they were PACKING SERIOUS HEAT under there.

[heavyhitter]

oh shit thats a better answer than the rockets in my pockets one
and WAY better than shitty mr "its for fun" up there

text/

[debauchewy]

who ever has the answer, ask about rabbits and eggs 2, would u? they may know.

[Though to be honest from the little he knows of Easter, he can guess why those two are involved.]

[heavyhitter]

oh that ones not a mystery thats about the fucking

video;

[fistofthejoestar]

Oh, are we supposed to be sulking? This is my first time in America for the holiday, I do wish someone had told me; I wouldn't have eaten so many hamburgers already.

[heavyhitter]

god look at u u are shaming ur forefathers for sure
also! what the fuck where! let me in on the burgers

text;

[cleptes]

Given the fact that I'm taking advantage of this particular celebration for my own monetary gain, I'd like to think I'm more American than English today.

[heavyhitter]

congratulations! hows it feel? did guns show up in ur closet?

[tucky]

who cares its fun thats the only thing that matters

[heavyhitter]

hey no arguments there blowing shit up is always fun
but im allowed to wonder why once in a while arent i

[maime]

Kinda sound like gunshots or bombs
Maybe thats why

Not gonna sleep tonight either way

[heavyhitter]

wtf when do u go to bed

video; ID reads Superman

[andaway]

'"With Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more." John Adams, 1776. At least that's why we celebrate with fireworks back in my world.

I'll probably have some bbq later in Maurtia Falls, if you want to come by.

[heavyhitter]

first of all i will DEFINITELY come by
secondly oh my god sman
well mystery solved i guess we can all go home

was "bonfires and illuminations" how they said fireworks back in the day

text

[rideme]

hold up

whats a firework

[heavyhitter]

bull
bull tell me ur kidding

[enigmaestro]

Consider it an evolution of ego. Bombastic and artful in performance. Isn't all successful conflict celebrated with performance art?

Counterpoint: explain this.

[heavyhitter]

omg thats not the kind of answer i was after eddie

also, i cant. i cant even look at it for long enough to try. who the fuck inflicted that on the world

Video

[redplainsrider]

What li'l I know of Earth-folk--American Earth-folk in particular--I reckon it were just because they liked loud explosions an' lots'a colors.

[heavyhitter]

wait
are u from space

[tardily]

fireworks are slightly safer versions of cannons? you can still injure people/yourself with them but tends to be safer than any cannon.

it's just the boom of the cannons/guns without the cannon or the gun. and nice colors.

[heavyhitter]

i dont think i like all these boring answers, u can do better than that cant u