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[heavyhitter]

ok so last year i was probably too drunk to ask about this but THIS YEAR someones gotta solve the mystery for me
so 4th of july is fuck yeah suck it mom to england, right, everyone knows that
but whats the fireworks
u cant tell me u won and someone happened to have a bunch of fireworks in his pocket and got a great idea
so whered it come from??? does it represent blowing up england because i dont think u did that. does it represent blowing up the us?? i dont think that happened either but maybe, my history is rusty

also if ur english do u just walk around feeling real annoyed today? or maybe real smug like yeah thanks for the reminder about the bullet we dodged

also also is anyone making burgers today, if so i wanna invite myself to ur party

Comments

[enucleation]

[ that was a bit of sarcasm but- ]

Maybe they want to set the city and the forests around it on fire; going out with a literal bang. [ a better guess? ]

[heavyhitter]

hmmm better, still sort of boring

[enucleation]

What is your theory, then?

[heavyhitter]

best one so far is the founding fathers had rocket launchers under their powdered wigs
i could go with that one

[enucleation]

Those must have been really big wigs.

[heavyhitter]

its said they once covered all of delaware

[enucleation]

They sound pretty heavy too.

[heavyhitter]

oh yeah u should have seen their beefy necks

[enucleation]

I bet their wives couldn't wrap their arms around them.

[heavyhitter]

no see back in that day wives had arms like pythons

[enucleation]

That explains everything.
Human evolution is an amazing thing.

[heavyhitter]

i know right?? give us a few more years and well probably have no arms at all

[enucleation]

We will be like snakes.

[heavyhitter]

probably! hopefully im dead by then tho, arms are great

[enucleation]

I'm sure many feel the same way. But then again, I wouldn't want beefy necks and python arms either.

Evolution and devolution both sound like bad choices.

[heavyhitter]

look i wouldnt complain about the beefy necks and snake arms at all thatd be great

[enucleation]

I can only think about the amount of fabric you'd spend to make a shirt.

[heavyhitter]

itd be worth it for how cool id look

[enucleation]

Tentacle arms.
I don't know if they are that cool, really.

[heavyhitter]

are u speaking from experience

[enucleation]

[ sort of ]

I'm just imagining it.

[heavyhitter]

damn
if u were wed have to meet IMMEDIATELY

[enucleation]

Why?

[heavyhitter]

are u fucking kidding me that would be awesome

[enucleation]

It depends on what you'd do with them, no?