Capsule 001 💊 (Video)

[rassera]

[If there's one thing you never want to do, it's recruit Kaneda for anything that he didn't want to be a part of originally. Because getting teenagers to do ANYTHING you want them to never goes over well. In hindsight, the city should've known that. But being recruited for some military position? Doing a job (and an awful one at that, in Kaneda's opinion)? You might as well sign the release form now and let him get back on with his life.

But they didn't. Which...complicates things.

He doesn't leave a moment to cool off, flicking on the communication device to reveal a...very upset, very angry Kaneda.

Understandably. He already lost most of his life and friends. Two more just takes the proverbial cake. So the government might have to work a little bit to get Kaneda to cooperate, just a little.]

HEY! Anyone going to tell me what's going on without using crazy talk? Where my friends are? I don't exactly trust authority.

[They kind of fucked up his friend mega.]

And where's my freakin' bike?

[Ah, there's the teenage boy problems we all know and love. After all, why read the information when you can yell about it?]

Comments

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[rideme]

Oh for fuck's sake...

No. Just. Qunari. Everyone looks like this back home. Okay?

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[rassera]

Wait, everyone's half cow?

Do you guys have mirrors back there too? Hope not.

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[rideme]

No one is half cow.

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[rassera]

Oooohkay. Okay, whatever, old man.


So what's your name?

[Oh, you're gonna love this one, Kaneda.]

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[rideme]

Qunari don't get names. We get numbers.

We pick nicknames that suit us.

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[rassera]

Names, nicknames. They're what you answer to, right? That's what's important here.

Here, I'll start!

I'm Kaneda.

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[rideme]

Sure, fine.

The Iron Bull. The article is important.

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[rassera]

I KNEW IT.


You're a cow.

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[rideme]

It's The Iron Bull.

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[rassera]

Bull, cow. Same difference.

Either way, I was right. The Cow.

[Kaneda you're gonna get your ass beat.]

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[rideme]

It's not even remotely the same.

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[rassera]

Okay, YOU tell me the difference.

[He folds his arms YEAH GO FOR IT BULL.]

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[rideme]

Bulls have dicks, kid. They've got balls and dicks.

Cows don't.

1/2 video;

[rassera]

...





[He's about to sputter something at Bull--on account of being unable to think of anything decent to say back--]

2/2 video;

[rassera]

[Hehe.]

Cows also have these.

[His hands go to his chest, making a 'lift up' motion, and the biggest shit eating grin he can muster.]

Iron Cow it is.

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[rideme]

It's not a bra.

[Oh hell no. Krem is probably the only person on the planet to get away with that one.]

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[rassera]

I believe ya.

[He really doesn't.]

But somethin's holding those things in, you know?

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[rideme]

Kid, you better hope you don't wind up in ten feet of me while you're kicking around this place.

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[rassera]

[It's gonna be fun learning you're roomies, isn't it.]

Heh, ease up old man! Can't take a joke?

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[rideme]

It's only a joke if people are laughing, kid.

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[rassera]

Well I thought it was pretty funny.

[But he snaps to attention, sighing.]

Whatever. Sorry, THE Iron Bull.

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[rideme]

You're the only one laughing, punk.

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[rassera]

Well there's only two of us. That's like...50%, right?

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[rideme]

No.

Krem isn't laughing.

[BULL YOUR CAT DOESN'T COUNT.]

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[rassera]

Krem?

That your...uh--

[Do cow-bull people have wives? Kids? Family? Kaneda doesn't know, so he'll just go with the safe option.]

Feelings...partner?