maskormenace | ♋ 001 TEXT;

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OKAY. YES. OKAY.

WELL, HELLO THERE, HUMANS. ALL OF YOU ARE LOOKING VERY ALIVE AND I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A PLEASANT DAY, GOING ABOUT YOUR VARIOUS BUSINESSES SUCH AS "BEING ON PLANET EARTH" AND "EXISTING" AND "HOLY SHIT, WHAT." SO NO NEED TO STOP DOING THAT IF I'M INTERRUPTING!

HEY, LISTEN, I GET IT, IF I HAD SOME IMPORTANT SHIT TO GET DONE AND THEN SOME CLUELESS LOBELEAKER TRIED BARGING IN AND DEMANDING TO BE CAUGHT UP TO SPEED, I'D BE PRETTY FED UP WITH THAT MYSELF. AS THOUGH SOMEHOW YOU SHOULD ALL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS IGNORANCE, RIGHT? MAYBE THERE'S A REASON NO ONE BROUGHT HIM INTO THE LOOP, NOT THAT HE EVER STOPPED TO CONSIDER HOW IT MIGHT AFFECT YOU.

SO YEAH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT LAUNCH INTO SOME SORT OF SELF-IMPORTANT SCREED THAT WOULD BE MORE ACCURATELY CHARACTERIZED AS A SHITFIT, DEMANDING INFORMATION AS THOUGH THEY'RE ENTITLED TO IT AND FLINGING CAUSTIC REMARKS AND OBSCENITIES AT ANYONE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO GET IN TYPING RANGE, BUT NOT ME.

I'LL JUST BE OVER HERE WAITING PATIENTLY, STARING AROUND ME IN SLACK JAWED WONDER LIKE A CONTENT AND EXTREMELY CORDIAL BARKBEAST, WELL AWARE OF HIS OWN RELATIVE LACK OF SIGNIFICANCE IN THIS AND ALL UNIVERSES AND TOTALLY AT PEACE WITH IT. SERIOUSLY, I'M BOGGLING AT THESE DEVELOPMENTS BUT ALSO WISED UP TO THE TRUTH THAT THIS IS MERELY ONE OF MANY THINGS I AM NOT QUALIFIED TO EITHER CONTRIBUTE TO OR UNDERSTAND.

OH, BUT, AND THIS IS A SUPER, SUPER LOW PRIORITY, JUST IF YOU HAVE A SPARE MOMENT AND YOU AREN'T TOO TIRED FROM HUMANING ALL DAY, WOULD SOMEONE MIND JUST LETTING ME KNOW: WHAT THE FUCK?

THANKS IN ADVANCE!!!

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youre sulking

[ in all the times she's seen him arrive for the first time, (is this the fourth? she has trouble keeping count. but then the first time he was there before her so it might not count.) she has never seen him sulk at the start. it's surreal. ]

okay listen i know you were soliciting human response but im sure youll be fine with me instead
youre in a completely new and unrelated universe
theres kind of a lot of fuck to what at so explaining the entirety of the situation is complicated in any sort of condensed setting

but before i get into the ordeal a proper response would require
well
are you alright

NO THAT'S CRAZY. YOU MUST BE JOKING, WHAT WOULD THERE POSSIBLY BE TO SULK ABOUT. DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I ENJOY GETTING TO TAG ALONG ON ADVENTURES LIKE THIS WITHOUT THE PRESUMABLY TOTAL DOWNER OF HAVING TO KNOW WHAT THE NEXT EXCITING DEVELOPMENT WILL BE? IT'S MUCH BETTER TO GET TO OBSERVE WITH FRESH GANDERBULBS UNFETTERED BY ANY EXPECTATIONS.

DID WE. MAKE EARTH AGAIN SOMEHOW? IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED? IS THIS SOMETHING TO DO WITH ECHIDNA OR IS IT SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY? DID WE KNOW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN? BY "WE" I OBVIOUSLY DON'T MEAN "I," I'LL BE ON RECORD AS HAVING NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT'S GOING ON.

not knowing whatever future developments are waiting isnt an especially atypical position
i havent been in any position to know such things for [ don't say years ] sweeps
as an example i have no idea what you were talking about just then
but i can say quite confidently that this earth has nothing to do with us
aside from our current presence on it of course

Edited (that's an important missing letter, and a second just missing...) 2015-07-10 03:31 (UTC)

HUH.

SO WE DIDN'T EXPECT THIS TO HAPPEN? THIS IS JUST A BIG COINCIDENCE, HEY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW, EARTH EXISTS NOW. WELCOME, AND PLEASE ENJOY THE COURTESY GRUBNAPPING AND MANDATORY TATTOO.

YOU SEEM PRETTY CALM ABOUT THIS. NOT THAT YOU USUALLY AREN'T CALM ABOUT THINGS BUT THIS SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY FUCKED UP THING TO SUDDENLY HAPPEN.

Sorry, wait. So you apparently think that asking for information around here qualifies as throwing a tantrum, and then turn around and ask for information. You know that dressing it up doesn't really work if you dress it up in a miniature tantrum of its own, right?

I said "if you have a spare moment." Did I fail to be obsequious enough in my request?

Listen I am an expert in this, I have enough first hand experience to write the tourist's guide and I can tell you that no matter how engorged with unspilled yell secretions your bileflaps may be, opening your screamhole and and drenching a human listener is an exercise in futility. Your kind doesn't react correctly to verbal lashings, and now you're telling me that even my display of passive aggression, finely honed from years of observation in the wild, has failed to gain me acceptance with the locals? You still feel the need to pester me with pedantic readings of my tantrum instead of offering a friendly frond to a curious alien.

Whatever, I give up. Please, take your time and do another read through if there are any other flaws in my logic.

lack of calm is for fresh arrivals like yourself
ive had nearly 2 sweeps

the multiverse is much larger apparently than the relatively small cluster we have inhabited
so perhaps paradox space isnt as all inclusive as i had previously believed
coincidental as it may seem there are numerous earths we had no hand in creating that survived well past when ours fell to pieces
the scales always seems to stretch larger than we previously expected

I'M SUITABLY AWESTRUCK BY THE DEPTHS OF POSSIBILITY, WILL WONDERS NEVER CEASE? NONE OF WHAT YOU JUST SAID MAKES ANY SENSE OR IS POSSIBLE WITHIN THE ESTABLISHED LAWS OF PARADOX SPACE WHICH I HAD BEEN ASSUMING STILL APPLIED, AND BOY DO I FEEL SILLY ABOUT IT BUT FORGET ALL OF THAT FOR NOW.

TWO SWEEPS? WHAT?

Didn't they give you a file? And there's a brochure. It'll get you up to speed on "the fuck".

[Did a Disney character just swear? Riku doesn't drop F-bombs all that often, but this time seemed appropriate.]

[totally ignoring like 90% of that to focus on the fact that:] So, you admit that by your own logic, it's still throwing a tantrum.

Dude, the main problem here is that asking for a basic rundown is a pretty reasonable response, here. You really didn't have to talk it down so much. I'd say you just like the sound of your own voice, but you started off typing, so...

yes
two sweeps
so clearly ive had a lot of time on my hands and space is something i tend to think about for reasons that should also be obvious
whats interesting is that ive seen citizens of many separated universes that could arguably be related to each other
but are at the same time still separate
not quite the relationship our universe had to roses but similar makeups and individuals that occur in entirely separate ways
or who knows maybe theyre just another part of the same frog
but if that were the case i should think the whole thing would have collapsed by now

i suspect instead that what we call the "multiverse" is too small an idea
because i think its more likely that there are multiple multiverses all clustered together in separate parts of the
megaverse sounds stupid
utliverse is even worse and assumes that no potential exists for existence to go out to an even wider scale which i think is probably shortsighted
essentially what im arguing is that i think the way stars cluster into galaxies is probably true of universes too
so this earth in this universe is probably in another wholly separate universal galaxy than where ours resided in
and that the void we thought existed outside of any living universe was probably just part of its own cluster
or even an illustration of the sort of cluster im describing
its all hard to really say when youre stranded on an alien planet and can only theorize exactly what it all means

[Thanks to the translation function, Zuko can actually read this, but it just results in him crinkling his nose up in impatience at the meandering length of it.

Because he's matured lately, thank you, he manages to keep his reaction to a somewhat glum,] So I'm guessing this is as weird for you as it is for me.

[Frankly he keeps expecting to wake up.]

ii 2ee youve been working on 2arca2m
2eriou2ly though ii thiink KN know2 the mo2t

Yikes. You get it all out of your system? [yeah she's not taking this seriously.]

They supposedly gave you a file and a brochure. If they didn't, here is the brochure. I can't help you with the file, you'd have to ask the government.

UH-HUH.

THAT'S COMPLETELY FASCINATING AND IT CLARIFIES A LOT FOR ME, AND I COULD SPENT THE REST OF THE DAY EXCHANGING THEORIES ABOUT THE SHAPE OF THIS PARTICULAR UNIVERSE CLUSTER AND WHETHER WE ARE OR ARE NOT INSIDE THE INTACT REMAINS OF A SPACE FROG BUT.

TWO SWEEPS, DAMN. SERIOUSLY HOW DOES THAT WORK? OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE NOT THE SAME KANAYA FROM MY TIMELINE BECAUSE I WAS TALKING TO YOU TWO MINUTES AGO AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO MENTION THIS, BUT THAT'S LONGER THAN IT'S BEEN SINCE SGRUB AND YOU CERTAINLY DON'T SOUND AS THOUGH YOU NEVER PLAYED. IF YOU HAVEN'T, GOOD GUESS ABOUT THE FROG THING.

Yes, I do admit that, dude. But I might add that a tantrum is possibly not an unreasonable reaction to the sideways panfucking of this entire situation. Can you, in return, maybe admit that too?

Frankly, given the circumstances, I think I have been astoundingly reasonable and I would like that to be recognized.

Oh, the brochure. The brochure! How can I have possibly forgotten about the brochure! Thank you, all of my questions are answered now. Every time a new question occurs to me, I'll read it over again and reach full satisfaction.

Except for the small fact, which admittedly you could not possibly know, that none of this is supposed to exist. This planet is not supposed to be here for us to be mysteriously summoned to and injected with "nanites" in in the first place.

Not to squat and take a dump all over your commisatory overture, but seeing as you're human and I'm not, probably significantly moreso for me.

WHOA.
UH.
HEY, MAN.
YEAH, I TALKED TO HER, IT DIDN'T ILLUMINATE ALL THAT MUCH BUT SEEING AS SHE'S APPARENTLY BEEN HERE FOR TWO SWEEPS I WOULDN'T EXPECT ANYONE ELSE TO TRY TO GIVE ME THE LOW DOWN OVER AGAIN.
SO YOU'RE HERE.

well thats sort of another thing
our existence here is independent of timelines at home
when i eventually return i wont even remember the time ive spent here because lachesis will remove those memories
seemingly for the express purpose of preserving our timelines

but i suppose that would be a step to take
comparing notes to avoid spoilers
not that spoilers actually matter for the reasons ive just explained but they can still be awkward when you cant exactly do anything about them here

[ roxy told her about the matriorb, for one. it was awful. ]

i mightve liked to ensure you were better acclimated to this world first but since you asked
the last time i returned to the meteor it wasnt quite a sweep since wed begun our journey
it was right in the midst of that whole ordeal with our ancestors

Not even close.

I'm curious, though. What's the typical reaction here. When you get a new passenger on this runaway fucktrain to Bullshit Town how does the "intro" typically go.

'Well, hey, folks! Nice to meet you, call me Karkat. Guess we all got summoned here and no one knows why. Hah, what're you gonna do? I don't know about you guys but I'm practically pissing my plastic-wrapped excitement shorts ready to get down to fighting some communists for our new overlords.'

THANK YOU.
I AM, IN FACT, AWARE OF THE BROCHURE. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I RETROACTIVELY DECIDED MY THANK YOU WASN'T SARCASTIC, THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME A LINK TO THAT BROCHURE AND NOT RIDING MY ASS OVER WHETHER I'M CHEERFUL ENOUGH ABOUT PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES.

Each person takes it differently. You probably have more questions not answered by neither of two informative digests. If so, there is also an useful FAQ that might help you out a bit further.

THAT'S FINE. EVEN IF I'M READY TO ACCEPT THAT GETTING ACCLIMATED TO THIS WORLD IS A GIVEN, WHICH, YOU KNOW, WHY THE FUCK NOT, IT'S NOT LIKE I HAD ANYTHING BETTER TO DO THAT WASN'T PROBABLY GETTING KILLED BY ANY NUMBER OF UNBEATABLE BOSSES, I DOUBT I COULD ACCLIMATE WITHOUT HAVING AN IDEA OF WHERE WE ALL STAND.

SEE, THAT WAS A WHILE AGO FOR ME. ENOUGH TIME FOR THERE TO HAVE BEEN MORE THAN ONE ORDEAL WITH OUR ANCESTORS, IF BY ORDEAL YOU MEAN WE HAD TO TALK TO THEM AND IT WAS AWFUL. BUT I GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. FOR ME, I'M AFTER WE'VE ALL ARRIVED. NOT TO GET TOO TECHNICAL AND RISK DROPPING A "SPOILER," THE JOKE HERE BEING THAT I'VE BEEN LET IN ON ANY INFORMATION ABOUT OUR PLANS CRUCIAL ENOUGH TO EVEN CONSTITUTE A "SPOILER."

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