maskormenace | 04

[alright, maybe this isn't entirely a text post. it starts out with a video, which is surprising considering who it's coming from - but there's no need to be excited, as the camera is filming nothing but sky. when an unseen person suddenly slaps a piece of paper down on top of the lens, even the hand is obscured by what's being shown. Hazel knows what she's on about.

the paper in question is a freshly minted detective's license bearing the name of one Hazel Lockwood. it sits there for several moments, like she wants everyone to drink it in, before Hazel cuts the feed and switches over to text.]

Well everyone, here it is: proof that they will let you do literally anything regardless of how well qualified you are so long as you're an imPort.

Which is to say, I'm now licensed as a detective in two worlds. If I get arrested after today, it'll be for something amazingly dramatic in the line of duty instead of bureaucratic bullshit. I think that's a fair trade.

If anyone needs any investigative work done, I'm ready to take on what I'm sure will be the total deluge of offers. I have no business cards and no way to verify any of my skills, but what I do have are flexible morals and a full twenty-four hours available to me thanks to insomnia. I only take cash.

Any complaints can be shunted off to Kaneki for enabling me to pass that goddamn test in the first place. Speaking of, Kaneki!!! I do actually have a thank you gift!! But you need to fill out a survey first.

Also obligatory hello to the new people, if only because you're clogging up the network again. I'm not someone anyone wants to know, but it feels a little silly to ignore you guys. So, hey! :D

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Congratulations. I would invite you for a drink, but we both know how that would end. Should I be worried about the gift?

Hey, I left my barroom brawl days far behind me. It's all knife fights in alleyways now, like a respectable lady.

If you're worried about my gift, it's because you don't have confidence in your answers. Not my fault!

That's good to know. Myself, I'd rather just watch from the sidelines than to be involved. That must be it, of course. What is the gift?

Hey, as long as you're cheering me on I'm not going to hold it against you.

I'm going to paint you something. You get to pick, but if it's really out there I'm going to need a description.

Paint? What do you mean?

Like...a picture? A painting, you know?

I didn't know you could paint. Was it you who customized the bike?

I don't really talk about it, but I've been doing art shit since I was little. It's just the kind of thing that makes you sound like a pretentious asshole when you mention it out of nowhere, you know?

I did the design, but I got somebody who actually knows something about custom vehicle shit to actually put it on. Spray paint's expensive, I'm not wasting it on my own fuckups.

I know what you mean. I used to sketch, too. Alright. I would appreciate that gift. I just have no idea what I want...

Really? We should go out and do one of those stupid nature sketch sessions sometime; I used to get swallowed alive by mosquitoes in the summer when I did that, it was great.

Well, it's no rush; my fingers aren't going anywhere. You can hit me up whenever you think of something you'd really like.

I actually never did that. We could try. Alright, I'll try to think of something.Something cool.

It's a lot of fun, as long as we don't pick somewhere ugly as sin. Nobody wants to draw the same soggy piece of wetland for three hours, I don't care what 'artists' say about it.

Something cool? Oh, shit. I'll be on alert for it.

Right. Somewhere like the beach then? It sounds cliché enough.

Right before sunset, if we're going the whole nine yards.

Well, it sounds like a great plan. Let me know when.

Whenever you're free, dude. I've got art supplies to burn.

I'm free, I don't work. You can bring someone along. We need people in the background to enrich the picture.

Wow, am I actually more productive than someone else here? That's a first.

I know this one guy I could drag along, but he might cry a little. Which is fine for art, but you know. Heads up.

I'm productive. [ he stalks people ]

Art is deep. It must touch your soul. Something like that. I'm not good at pretending to be an artist.

I don't think you're even trying with that shit, dude. It needs at least a couple more layers of pretentiousness.

You didn't see, but I was rising my little finger as I took a sip from my coffee.

I'm only going to accept that if you were twirling your fake mustache with the other hand.

Just like Hercule Poirot.

I see someone else has been catching those three am Masterpiece Classics. Nice.

I need to keep myself busy somehow.

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deadtective - 2015-07-19 17:04 (UTC) - Expand

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