Chapter 1

[romancier]

[The video turns on to a perplexed Shigure, rubbing the back of his head with the file they gave him upon his arrival tucked underneath his other arm. The kimono that he wears is a little loose, and looks a bit disheveled as he stands there, trying to let everything sink in. Once he realizes the video function is working, he gives it a small smile.]

You know, when I told Mit-chan I was going on vacation, this isn't exactly what I had in mind. I was imagining something more along the lines of a nice, sandy warm beach, surrounded by lots of young beautiful high school girls in nothing but bathing suits that fanned me and waited upon my every need!

[A huge, dramatic sigh.]

And to think! Poor Tohru-kun would have made all that delicious food by now, and I won't be able to taste any of it! She'll only have unruly teenage boys to keep her company, and no one else to watch out for her! Oh, to think what she must be going through without my influential presence!

[Then, as if he hadn't been whining at all in the first place:]

So, to my dear kidnappers, as much as I would love to be your mighty king, fighting off your dreadful dragons, I'm afraid my duties call me elsewhere. If you could just tell me how to get back home, it is of the greatest importance. Lots of princesses to save, and all that!

[He chuckles and looks at the camera as if waiting for a response. There is a low growl that comes from off screen. Shigure looks in its direction and suddenly looks very nervous.]

Ah. Nice doggy...

[As he starts to back away, he turns the feed off.]

Comments

text; anon

[debauchewy]

if u want 2 go 2 the beach, u can go 2 florida! theres lots of swimming and bathing suits there, but u really want girls 2 fan u? thats kinda weird. r u a pervert... (；¬д¬)

Text

[romancier]

I prefer to say, "blissfully open minded to all situations involving the female form." A writer is nothing without his creative imagination, after all!

Text; Anon

[debauchewy]

wow, so u must b really experienced with ladies, huh? do u sweep us off our feet? (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

Video

[bindsthedead]

We haven't actually had to deal with any dragons for months.

And no one on this network has the power to send you back- didn't you read the pamphlet? And why are you asking about high schoolers? [You seem a bit too old to be a student, mister.]

[romancier]

For months?

[Which means you did have them??]

I have a few cousins that are high schoolers. I was supposed to meet them. [THAT'S A GOOD EXCUSE RIGHT?] Perhaps someone who can fly can take me with them on their next excursion out of here, then!

[bindsthedead]

One burned down part of Heropa at the end of April. [It was a mess.]

Sir, you need to read the pamphlet they gave you- we're in a different world, and none of us can return to where we're from.

video;

[grimreaping]

I'm afraid it's not so simple as just asking to be returned. A good many of us would not be present still, if that were the case.

video;

[romancier]

Mm. I was afraid of that.

In that case, I suppose I will have no choice but to sail on the back of a friendly whale and cross the vast ocean to where my adoring family awaits me!

Re: video;

[grimreaping]

[ ... what. ]

video

[memorybomb]

Honestly, I'll never understand grown men's fixation on teenage girls. [It's creepy. Also:] And you can't go home unless the Porter decides to send you back.

Video 1/2

[romancier]

[Yeesh, tough crowd here today.]

Re: video

[romancier]

For research purposes! I am a novelist, after all.

[Let's just go with that.]

So they say, but Japan isn't that hard to get to from here last time I checked.

[Video]

[hands4healing]

I think the dangerous dragons are all gone now.

Mostly.

[Kang can be dangerous, Winry's pretty sure of it.]

And Heropa has beaches. But a dragon does live in Heropa.

[Sentient. Bipedal. Her adopted uncle.]

Re: [Video]

[romancier]

What a shame! And here I was getting ready to saddle my most trusted steed and sharpen my sword. Well, if there are no more dragons to fight here, then it can't be helped! I have no choice but to return to my homeland empty handed.

video.

[leaflets]

You save princesses?

[ HINAMI NO ]

video.

[romancier]

I do. I had quite a reputation as a princess saver back home.

[Lies, all lies.]

audio;

[shuckit]

[ teenage girls... so there's the part where thomas, in general, is suspicious of most people over 18, and then there's a dude who wants to be fanned by a harem of underaged girls.

dude. no. ]


Found a dragon for you to fight.

[ just gonna leave him a link to this dude, t b h. ]

audio; 1/2

[romancier]

[Hahahaha......ha....]

audio;

[romancier]

[AHEM]

I am so sorry, but all requests for dragon fighting must be hand written in the form of a haiku and delivered by falcon to my agent. For legal purposes, of course. No exceptions!

[aggressiveapathy]

The price of the secret high school girl beach location is high. Make sure you can afford it before asking.

[romancier]

Those monsters! To think they would deprive innocent beach goers access to such a public space! What is this world coming to!

[mightthinkthat]

Dogs can sense fear, you know. [Francis, leave him alone.]

[romancier]

...You don't say?

[Because he definitely ran away from that dog out of a little bit of fear!]

video;

[daimeinashi]

There is a beach about twenty minutes from Heropa.

[He's helping.]

video;

[romancier]

[Thank you, kind soul!]

Do they have women in bathing suits who are willing to fan me and wait upon my every need?