09 - text

[wayhot]

[She had tried to contact Gamagori earlier to talk, but oddly enough, there had been no response, and no voicemail, even. Then checking things, only to find that his name is no longer on the network... well. It doesn't take a lot to put two and two together. She'll stick with text for this post.]

For those of you who knew him, Nonah ambassador Ira Gamagori has gone home.

That's all.

Comments

[wayhot]

It is.

But all of his friends and family are waiting for him back home. I know he'll be happier there.

[cephalothorax]

Ah. I don't know. That's usually... complicated.

I suppose it depends on what he had for him here, as well. It's something that's been on my mind recently, the question of here or there.

I'm being rude, though. I don't think we've spoken before?

[wayhot]

I don't think so. I'm Flame Princess.

He won't remember what he had here, though. When you're sent home, all your memories of this place disappear. So you can't really miss anything if there's nothing to be missed. [And honestly, that's probably the hardest part of all this. Not the fact that he's gone, but the knowledge that everything she and Gamagori had been through here has been wiped clean. As if he had never come here. Or if she had never existed to begin with.]

[cephalothorax]

Chrollo Lucilfer. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

And yes, that's part of what I've been thinking about really. The transience of the occurrences here. The losses one doesn't even remember. It seems cruel, but then again in some ways it's a mercy.

I can never seem to decide which more than the other.

[wayhot]

I've tried not to think about it so much. [But it's hard not to, especially now that the person she loves is gone.] It kind of makes you wonder if the stuff you do and the people you meet here really matter, especially if you just forget everything once you're sent home.

[cephalothorax]

Precisely my thoughts as well.

I suppose one can't help but think about it, sometimes, though it's perhaps not the most advisable way to spend one's time. A little maudlin, but the mind works the way it works. And anyone who has spent a significant amount of time here inevitably finds themselves losing things.

Private- jack, if it's cool, angus?

[debauchewy]

[He only came back to this to reread it after Josuke spoke to him concerning the missing Ambassador, but seeing Chrollo respond to a topic like this. He's kind of miffed it doesn't amuse him as much as it would before. Instead it just bothers him.]

very maudlin. it doesnt surprise me ud think on it often tho. such a depressing man at times. ♦

Private

[cephalothorax]

[Chrollo... hesitates for a long moment, chest aching just a bit. The feeling is... complicated. For various reasons, most of which he hasn't actively mentioned to Hisoka of yet.

...not really like him to procrastinate and yet, there it is. Ah well.]

I'm a man prone to rumination. I suppose that can veer to the dark side from time to time.

[debauchewy]

stop it then, would u.

[Knowing of course he won't, it's sort of meant to be playful and at the same time concerned, all while sounding like it bores him or annoys him.]

[cephalothorax]

Impossible. One may as well ask you to stop dying your hair.

[debauchewy]

that result wouldnt b very enjoyable at all. - n - not compared 2 urs.

[Yours being you happier, the implication being of course. Chrollo's nature often makes him so sullen, a wallower and before he could just ignore it. Let him be a downer on his own time. But now he couldn't just

leave it.

Obnoxious.]

[cephalothorax]

[And yet not obnoxious to Chrollo. Touching, really. But...

Uncomfortable, too. He rubs his face.]

Admittedly true. However, it seems to be an inherent part of my nature. Such things aren't so easily uprooted.

[debauchewy]

no, i guess not.

[A sigh, what does he even say to that. He sets his chin on a hand, staring off.]

do u drive?

[cephalothorax]

Ah, I have a hover vespa?

[debauchewy]

a car. i took a road trip recently. ♦

[cephalothorax]

I see. I don't drive, no. I've no real need to, for obvious reasons.

[wayhot]

Funny that we haven't found a good way to get used to it by now, huh?

[cephalothorax]

I'm not certain it's possible. How does one grow used to loss?

Well, it depends. To be honest, there aren't many things I value well enough to mourn. However, those things I do value are priceless and irreplaceable. I'm sure you understand what I mean.

[wayhot]

Yeah, I do.

Things can be replaced pretty easily, but it's not really something you can do with the people you care for.

[cephalothorax]

Yes, exactly.

It's disheartening. That said, I like to think that those who love us would not want us to wallow in despair. It does help to keep my perspective a little more upbeat, thinking of it that way.

[wayhot]

No, they wouldn't. But at the same time, it's kind of hard not to when somebody leaving means more than just them going home.

[cephalothorax]

I'm afraid I understand that better than most.

Well, better than some.

[wayhot]

[...]

I'm sorry. [She almost wants to ask what his experience with it is, but she thinks better of it. It's all very personal, after all.

For her, it's the fact that she and Gamagori are from two different worlds, so they could only ever be together here. It won't be the same for every case, obviously, but it's still a pain she's starting to understand very well right now.]

[cephalothorax]

Ah, it's not your trouble to apologize for. Indeed, some ways of thinking help with this, as well.

For example, you can consider the time you had with him to be a bonus. Something additional that you otherwise would never have had to begin with.

And then you can perceive it as a gain instead of a loss.

[wayhot]

That's what I'm going to try to do. I know he won't remember me, or this place, or even know I exist anymore, but I still have my memories of our time here.

That's still something.