maskormenace | 05 | text | backdated to nov 4

[anyone who's been unfortunate enough to have Hazel stumble through their inbox in recent hours may have an inkling as to what this post is about. everyone else...good luck, sorry.]

I don't actually have a goddamn thing to say to any of you people. I'm just making this post because I can.

I mean, shit, look at me. Typing up a post! With legible sentences!! Completely fucking coherent without a single goddamn mistyped word to be found! Spellcheck couldn't keep up with me if it wanted to, my fingers are flying across the keys so fast.

And do you know why? Because I fucking won. I blasted those goddamn moon runes and their bullshit back into Jupiter's orbit where they belong. Somebody WHO KNOWS EXACTLY WHO HE IS tried to bring me down with that alien garbage and he couldn't do it!!! Nobody can fucking beat me. Nobody.

Fuck!! I feel like I should be building a tower out of Webster's dictionaries and planting an American flag at the top or something. At the very least I should go price that shit out; just being able to read all these webpages again is making me cry.

[for someone who 'didn't have a goddamn thing to say' she sure is excitedly rambling. that point is lost on Hazel, unfortunately.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

we work together shell get over it

and maybe
i mean better me on ur bed than that jerk right?

Bailing on a coworker, Josuke? That's bad form.

You sure as hell seem to think so, at least. Meanwhile I don't even remember inviting you over..?

its FIIIIIIIINE she wont even care shes probably got other shit 2 do neway

and since when do i fucking need an invite i got a key the key is its own invite!!

Other shit to do instead of the weeklong event you guys have been building up to?

THAT KEY IS FOR EASE OF ACCESS NOT CONSTANT OPEN INVITATIONS AND YOU KNOW IT

i mean probably yeah it happens!

AND THIS IS TTLY A 4 EASE OF ACCESS SITUATION OK

If you're an enormous bitch, maybe. Or if those plans never existed in the first place...

THERE IS NOTHING EASE OF ACCESS ABOUT THIS JOSUKE I SWEAR TO GOD I BETTER NOT SEE YOUR DUMB ASS COMING THROUGH THE DOOR ANYTIME SOON

SHES NOT A BITCH AND THE PLANS WERE REAL SHUT UP

AND UR NOT GONNA SEE MY ASS IF YOU DONT STARE AT IT BUT IM COMING OVER IM ON MY WAY RIGHT NOW

SHE'S THE BIGGEST BITCH HERE ASIDE FROM ME AND YOU WERE TOTALLY LYING YOU LITTLE SHIT

I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING SEE ANYTHING I'LL HOLD THIS STUPID DOOR CLOSED MYSELF IF I HAVE TO

idk what u got against her but shes always been pretty nice 2 me
maybe if u lightened up a little bit 4 once!

and i wasnt lying! u can ask her urself!

[PLEASE DON'T.]

but hey whatever
i was only gnna come over 2 look out 4 u if u dont want me 2 then whatever
forget it
i wont

[UUUUUUGH Josuke's lucky that the second part of this conversation makes her drop the first one. that way only lies madness and disappointment.]

...you know I always want you over, don't make me say it.

why not
the hells so wrong with saying it?

There's nothing wrong with it, christ! It's just

[eeeeeurgh EMOTIONS WHY ARE YOU SO DETERMINED TO KILL HER A SECOND TIME. you can almost hear Hazel hiding her face in her hands and making incoherent whining noises.]

It's just me. I'm still working on it, ok?

yeah, ok.

im not really gonna come over if u got plans tho, u know that right? i mean that guy looks like he can use all the friends he can get and if u can actually tolerate him for 7 hrs straight thats something

[But seriously, don't let him near your face, Hazel.]

I know that! But I also kind of fucking bullshitted all that, so you know. It's fine if you want to show up.

[watching him get worked up was cute, she was weak. please forgive her.]

And I slept through a lot of those seven hours, to be fair.

u slept?

Well, I mean, 'slept'. I've been trying that deep meditation shit and it turns out it's pretty similar? I get the breathing pattern down and I drift right off.

oh
thats pretty cool

Yeah, it's nice. Except that's totally when he fucked with my comm, so maybe I should just drop it anyway.

well i mean u dont gotta drop it totally
i wouldnt mess up ur comm or nothing

Are you saying you want to come over and watch me nap?

sadkfadsjgh i didnt say id be watching u or nething what kinda weirdo do u thnk i am!

Do you really want an answer to that?

[ah, but she's been pretty mean to him so far, hasn't she. she won't drag this one out as much.]

But if you want to cuddle that bad I might even be able to be persuaded to let you on the bed.

im not saying i dont want that

but thats all im saying

Hey, well, you said it yourself. You've got a key to my place.

ya but i mightve actually asked kanaya to go 2 the zoo with me already

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