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[driftsintobuffetline]

Today--in my world--November 9, 2015 marks the one year anniversary of the birth of the Jaeger program. Happy First Birthday to Mark-1 Brawler Yukon.

And I really did not want to have to make this post on today, of all days, but I've put it off long enough.



Robotics Engineer and Jaeger pilot Mako Mori appears have been ported out.

[Here Newt thinks "I don't know how to do this in a personal sense. I've never been good with this and I've spent too many years with the PPDC. All I know is form letters. 'We regret to inform you...'"]

I hope she's gone home to kick some Kaiju ass.

[He includes a picture of Mako's beautiful model of (ironically the last Jaeger) Gipsy Danger 2.0. Newt and Hermann will be keeping this for her in the hope that she returns. Or to give to Raleigh or Pentecost, should they appear before she does. He's not sure if he selfishly hopes she returns, or is happy for her that she's gotten to go home.]

If there was anything in her possession that belonged to you and you would like it returned, please forward your request to either me or Dr. Gottlieb.

Thank you.

[If Newt has seemed a lot more subdued since the 7th, and in the next few days, this is the reason. It's frightening to think that someone he knows could disappear overnight. He really doesn't like to consider the implications. He's not great at expressing his feelings, nor were he and Mako especially close, but she was a valued member of their team, kind and caring, bright and capable; he respected her abilities. He's going to miss her quiet smiles and her calming presence.]

Comments

[mathemagier]

[He listens. He does. But doesn't comprehend- not entirely. He knows Newton's serious, holding his stare and earnestly trying to impart some nugget of wisdom that's escaping his own grasp, feels his heart flutter hard with nerves as he recalls flinching away from the first time Newton had thrown something toward him. But like the cadet he'd punched out for mocking him during training, he'd refused to stand for it, and thus began the first of many screaming matches in the lab]

I do. [But does he, really? It's not something he can objectively quantify. He has a feeling he may actually be falling short on that particular point, and shrugs out of Newton's grasp] Just because I'm not full of myself..

[driftsintobuffetline]

[ Newt pulls his hand away, flinching at the fragment of memory that he's seeing. He's pretty sure the full of myself was a jab at him, but he feels a bit empty and ashamed of the way he's treated Hermann over the years, and doesn't have the fight in him to be offended at a little poke at his ego.]

You should be.

[mathemagier]

Newton... [Hermann sets his drink down on the table and settles back next to Newton with a hand on his shoulder]

We were both less than stellar individuals during those years. I've called you a thousand derogatory names, fantasized about gruesome ways to kill you, and have afforded you and your work just as much disrespect if not more. I'm not proud of it and I know you're not. We've since come to something of a mutual understanding that I believe is working rather well so far.

[driftsintobuffetline]

Mutual understanding. Is that what we're calling friendship these days? Is that the mathematical term for it?

[ Joking aside, he shouldn't have had so much to drink. They'd run the full gamut from silly to sentimental. But while they were on topics of things they weren't proud of...]

Well, I know you know, but since we're discussing it, I want to say I'm sorry for that. I also owe you an apology for the dates thing.

[mathemagier]

[His fingers tighten on Newton's shoulder]

I am as well. ..Not for the dates of course, seeing as I didn't set you up on any. I still think you would've liked Ms. Haen, however. I did wind up enjoying Mr. Mondragon's company though, so I'm not certain what you're apologizing for- unless it's simply for going against my wishes, but that's not unusual.

[driftsintobuffetline]

Oh, he just impressed upon me how badly it could have gone because I was just shoving you at a stranger. [He gives a tight smile, reaches up, and pats Hermann's hand on his shoulder.]

But I'm glad you enjoyed spending time with him. I really am. You deserve it, you know, to be complimented and praised and hang out with someone who treats you well.

[mathemagier]

Ah. [He doesn't quite know how that went over or what exactly Joaquin said, but he can guess at some of it. Hermann removes his hand]

Well I'm not the only one. You should focus on finding someone you enjoy spending time with, Newton.

[driftsintobuffetline]

[ Newt opens his mouth, closes it, looks away, frowns, and then pulls off his glasses to clean the lenses on the front of his shirt. He's still frowning when he puts the glasses back on, but shakes his head once and tries to not focus on whatever that thought was.] Uh huh.

[mathemagier]

[Hermann plucks up his glass again and leans companionably against Newton] You're a brilliant man, Newton. I'm certain you'll find someone that interests you that can also appreciate your intellect.

[driftsintobuffetline]

[He sighs, his cheeks and chest warm with what could be excused as the alcohol, but his heartbeat is in his ears and Hermann's words keep getting tossed around his brain. Newt had never been so cowardly as to be afraid of knowledge, but does not want to look too closely at this.

He does look at Hermann squarely, at the places where his leaning posture intersects with Newt's, then at Hermann's drink, and offers a thin smile of thanks that he tries to get to look cocky.]

The first is a tall order, the second isn't impossible, but you forgot the most important part.

[mathemagier]

[Hermann's return smile is alight with amusement]

And what is that? They need to be able to tolerate me? That does sound fairly difficult.

[driftsintobuffetline]

[It's such a nice smile.]

You're the Gatekeeper, man. The bridge troll. The final boss. You decide who will go and who will stay. You've got to like them, and all things considered, I don't think too many will pass.

[mathemagier]

[Have a chuckle too, Newt]

Now you're truly dooming yourself. Best stay to more casual relationships in that case.

[driftsintobuffetline]

[He pats Hermann's cheek gently.]

It's so cute that you thought I was ever going to aim for anything else, man.

[mathemagier]

[Takes another drink]

Hmm.. we haven't lived much yet, have we? Schooling, then the Kaiju.. Can't fault you for that, I suppose.

[driftsintobuffetline]

[Newt nods, a 'sow our wild oats' comment dying before it even began. He leans into Hermann.]

I lived...a lot.

[mathemagier]

You were in college for ten years, Newton.

[driftsintobuffetline]

Have you not seen campus life? That's living...kinda.

[mathemagier]

Newton, I spent six years in Berlin earning my doctorate, so I can say that while some experiences were invaluable and rather enjoyable, it does not exactly qualify.

[driftsintobuffetline]

Okay okay, whatever. But for clarification's sake, you're telling me to sleep around and live it up? Just checking here. Hermann Gottlieb is telling me to sleep around and live a little.

[mathemagier]

[Damn that's a yawn isn't it]

I'm saying I don't fault you for it. Most men our age are beginning to settle down- or desire as much.

[driftsintobuffetline]

[ A long stretch of quiet. Newt can feel a heaviness settle behind his eyes; he's tired. Or Hermann is, judging from the yawn. Can they trigger sleep in each other in the same way they can trigger pain or emotion? A study...for another time. ]

...that what you want?

[mathemagier]

I don't know. [He really doesn't. It takes considerable effort to lean forward to set his glass back down, and he slumps back with a sigh] ..We should go to bed.

[driftsintobuffetline]

[ He sighs and leans forward, elbows on his knees, head on his arms. ]

mmmnot tired. It's too early to go to bed.

[mathemagier]

[Hermann stares at Newton's back, then just because it's there, lays a hand over his spine.]

If I did, I think I'd want someone like you. But I don't think.. that's going to happen.