001 △ text

[triangleman]

FOHYHU PLQGV DQG ZDWFKIXO HBHV
ZLOO DOZDBV HDUQ D ILWWLQJ SULCH


[ooc: there's an excellent decoding tool for the impatient (like me)! he'll just be using a simple caesar for most replies... unless you really impress him.]

Comments

[deciphered]

If only it were something that simple.

[He's too agitated to sound annoyed, folding his hands neatly on the table in front of him. The last time they'd had this conversation had been different -- he'd known more, the sense of urgency had been more direct. Focused. Now, everything is significantly more nebulous. Derailed in a way that he should have anticipated, but didn't.]

Come in, children. Sit down. We have a lot to talk about.

[glitterateur]

[Mabel looks around for any cool bags or scrolls before grabbing the first chair next to Stan and sitting down.]

Sooo this still isn't the wizard school conversation, is it.

[ursawhiner]

[Dipper climbs up on a chair and puts his business face on.]

No owls. Did you guys see that coded message on the network?

[glitterateur]

Yeah! Voll's post. We're gonna make a movie about dinosaur-puppy hybrids playing basketball!

[deciphered]

Any whimsical-yet-heartwarming cinematic dreams you may have shared are a lie designed to ensnare you. "Voll" is nothing but a clever ruse to distract you from the truth at hand. Bill is here. And if his method of communication is any indication, he already has access to a physical form. I don't need to tell the two of you how dangerous this is.

[oldstandard]

What is this, you dodging some creditors or something? You know that's not actually that urgent, you just need to stop answering the door. And invest in some mace.

[ursawhiner]

Mace won't work this time. And it's worse than creditors.

Bill's a demonic god of chaos. And he has it in for us.

[glitterateur]

--wait wait hold up, the guy who made that post was Bill?!

[This is horrifying, a betrayal on a deep Air Bud-loving level.]

[oldstandard]

I wouldn't say worse so confidently, you haven't met some of these guys.

So by 'demonic god of chaos' what do you actually mean? I've never gotten a thesaurus to decode your weirder sentences and I'm not starting now.

[deciphered]

He means exactly that. Or something close enough to it.

[Ford unfolds his hands again, letting them curl into loose fists instead. There's no way around it this time. No delaying the conversation in the hope that it would become irrelevant before Stan needed to know the details. He heaves a sigh, and when he finally speaks again, his tone is grim.]

I've made many powerful enemies in my time, but Bill is one of the most dangerous. Under normal circumstances, his reach would be more limited. Restricted to our minds, our thoughts. But given a physical form, and in a dimension where our own abilities are so unpredictable... there's no way of knowing what he might be capable of.

[glitterateur]

He's capable of being a body-stealing giant lying jerkface and I wasted some of my best material on him!

[Dinobud is dead to her now, and her fury knows no bounds.]

[ursawhiner]

He wants to destroy the world! And here he might have the chance to do it.

--Wait, you're not talking about the sock puppet thing, are you?

[oldstandard]

So let me get this straight then. You ticked off a demon, didn't finish that fight, and the kids are involved in this now?

[deciphered]

It's not that simple. I was in the process of finding a way to put a stop to things when... [He trails off, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. When he called Stan for help. When they activated the portal.] Things became complicated. By the time I was in a position to do anything else about it, he'd already found the children.

[glitterateur]

[The Grunkle fight senses are tingling.]

...okay but he found other people first?! Like uh I think he found Gideon first and then-- other people and then Soos and me and Dipper? So! Plus we've kicked his butt twice now so it's fine. This is fine!

[That sounded more comforting in her head.]

[oldstandard]

[This is the opposite of fine, he has to be a responsible adult again, why does this keep happening?]

Will you look at the time. Sure is getting late. The two of you should be heading off to bed. Now.

[ursawhiner]

What? The sun's still out. It's 4.30.

[glitterateur]

And since when do we have a bedtime?

[oldstandard]

The sun's a fiery rock that can't read a clock. It's bedtime, which you now have because of reasons and also demons being afoot.

[Stan is now very insistently pointing to the hallway.] Sleep tight, no bedbugs, yadda yada, go.

[deciphered]

We'll have time to talk about this later.

[It's as final as anything Stan's said, and a clear indication to leave. Even after so many years apart, Ford knows his brother well enough to know what's coming.]

Don't breathe a word of this to anyone. Not until we know what we're doing.

[glitterateur]

[Judging by the pointing and the new bedtime and the general frosty tone going on here, she did not make things better. There is probably not a way to make this better and also convince Stan that four in the afternoon is not a bedtime.]

...fine.

[But she doesn't have to be happy about it!! She slides off her chair and gives Dipper a Look (that says there will be eavesdropping, don't you worry bro) before starting the reluctant walk to their room.]

C'mon Dipper.

[ursawhiner]

This isn't fair! We've fought Bill, too!

[Despite his upset, he still follows Mabel to their room, shooting resentful glances back at the grunkles.]

[oldstandard]

[Stan's eye visibly twitches at Dipper's last comment, but he remains silent until it seems that they have left the room and are out of earshot.]

So. How long has this been going on exactly.

[His tone indicates that there are correct and incorrect answers. He knows which he's going to get though.]

[deciphered]

[Ford looks away, letting the silence drag on a little too long as he searches for the words he wants, for a place to start.]

Longer than I'm proud of. I'd first encountered Bill years before I... [Though he trails off, it's not exactly difficult to fill in the blank.] He'd convinced me he was a friend. I was foolish enough to fall for it.

[oldstandard]

[He makes a light clicking noise against his teeth. There's a lot he could say, a lot he would normally say if he weren't more concerned about the kids.]

How long have the kids been involved in this?