Kitty Jones (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rathercommon) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2015-12-04 10:27 am
rathercommon) wrote in maskormenace2015-12-04 10:27 am
Entry tags:
- adam parrish | n/a,
- bart allen | kid flash,
- † akito/agito wanijima | fang king,
- † billy kaplan | wiccan,
- † blue sargent | n/a,
- † dorian gray | n/a,
- † francis urquhart | n/a,
- † frederick chilton | chief of staff!!,
- † jacob taylor | the protector,
- † jeff winger | wingman,
- † kanaya maryam-lalonde | psychopomp,
- † karkat vantas | knight of blood,
- † kitty jones | n/a,
- † kotetsu t. kaburagi | wild tiger,
- † luke castellan | n/a,
- † manolo sanchez | n/a,
- † reggie mantle | n/a,
- † richard gansey | raven king,
- † riku | darkeater,
- † sai | n/a,
- † tobias matthews | n/a
video
[ Here's Kitty, wearing a smile and giving a little wave to the camera. ]
Hullo. It's Kitty here. I was just thinking about how it's about time for us to get another wave of new people - and then I remembered how last December, we didn't get any, and then I realized that I've now been here for over a year and that was just mad to think about.
It's easy to focus on all the horrid things that happen to us here. Because there are so many horrid things - that's true. The war with the Soviets is just terrible, and sometimes you just want to take the President by his shoulders and shake him until he stops - and those groups that detest us, they've made things a bit hard at times, as well. [ There's a little sideways twist to her lips as she says that; that's a grotesque understatement from a girl who had quite the history with one of those groups that detest us. ]
But it's always easy to remember the bad above the good. That's how the human brain works, isn't it - it's designed to remember hurts so that it can avoid those hurts in the future, which isn't bad, but which means that we sometimes lose track of the fact that there is so much more kindness than cruelty in the world. So I was just sitting and remembering all the good that's come to me over the past year.
Because this year, in this world, it really has been filled with impossible goodness. When I first came here, I was so scared, but there were people who took me in and helped me and protected me until I got a little more courage. And now here I am. I've made so many friends, amongst them someone I thought was my direst enemy. I saw people whom I'd never done any good for - I saw them forgive me when I was cruel and wicked and spiteful towards them, saw them risk themselves to help me and to save me.
And I've lived amongst the people of this world, who have been so good to me. So good. I've made friends amongst them, too. I've been kept on at work when I really have been the worst employee, when I've been unreliable because of my other obligations. And we've been allowed to speak our minds, speak freely. We've been allowed to travel far and wide. We've been supported in everything we do, which is far more kindness than has ever been extended a group of refugees at any time in any world. We've lived at peace. We've lived well.
So -
[ She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. ]
I'd thought - if I could trouble you all - that we could spend a little bit of time, all together, remembering the good turns that people have done us.
Talk about whomever you'd like. Talk about the people who have been kind and helped us when they didn't have to. Talk about the wealth that is the other people we know here. And I thought we could talk about the natives, too - I was thinking I might put together a little something, a few quotes, that we could pass along to the natives of this world, so that we know that we appreciate them. Let's take some time to overcome our brains, and remember the good - focus on the good and remember how kind the world is to us. How well we live. How strong and brave and honest we can be here.
[ Translation: 'All of this is a somewhat underhanded but well-intentioned PR thing that will let me package some stuff to make the natives less furious at us in an ongoing attempt to avert all-out war between us and this world.' ]
Anyway. There's that, if you can spare some time. Oh, and, erm - come by Krakatoa, while I've got your attention. Best club in town, bar none. And the employees are simply gorgeous.
[ A quick, half-sheepish grin, and then she gives a little nod and waves her way off. ]
Hullo. It's Kitty here. I was just thinking about how it's about time for us to get another wave of new people - and then I remembered how last December, we didn't get any, and then I realized that I've now been here for over a year and that was just mad to think about.
It's easy to focus on all the horrid things that happen to us here. Because there are so many horrid things - that's true. The war with the Soviets is just terrible, and sometimes you just want to take the President by his shoulders and shake him until he stops - and those groups that detest us, they've made things a bit hard at times, as well. [ There's a little sideways twist to her lips as she says that; that's a grotesque understatement from a girl who had quite the history with one of those groups that detest us. ]
But it's always easy to remember the bad above the good. That's how the human brain works, isn't it - it's designed to remember hurts so that it can avoid those hurts in the future, which isn't bad, but which means that we sometimes lose track of the fact that there is so much more kindness than cruelty in the world. So I was just sitting and remembering all the good that's come to me over the past year.
Because this year, in this world, it really has been filled with impossible goodness. When I first came here, I was so scared, but there were people who took me in and helped me and protected me until I got a little more courage. And now here I am. I've made so many friends, amongst them someone I thought was my direst enemy. I saw people whom I'd never done any good for - I saw them forgive me when I was cruel and wicked and spiteful towards them, saw them risk themselves to help me and to save me.
And I've lived amongst the people of this world, who have been so good to me. So good. I've made friends amongst them, too. I've been kept on at work when I really have been the worst employee, when I've been unreliable because of my other obligations. And we've been allowed to speak our minds, speak freely. We've been allowed to travel far and wide. We've been supported in everything we do, which is far more kindness than has ever been extended a group of refugees at any time in any world. We've lived at peace. We've lived well.
So -
[ She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. ]
I'd thought - if I could trouble you all - that we could spend a little bit of time, all together, remembering the good turns that people have done us.
Talk about whomever you'd like. Talk about the people who have been kind and helped us when they didn't have to. Talk about the wealth that is the other people we know here. And I thought we could talk about the natives, too - I was thinking I might put together a little something, a few quotes, that we could pass along to the natives of this world, so that we know that we appreciate them. Let's take some time to overcome our brains, and remember the good - focus on the good and remember how kind the world is to us. How well we live. How strong and brave and honest we can be here.
[ Translation: 'All of this is a somewhat underhanded but well-intentioned PR thing that will let me package some stuff to make the natives less furious at us in an ongoing attempt to avert all-out war between us and this world.' ]
Anyway. There's that, if you can spare some time. Oh, and, erm - come by Krakatoa, while I've got your attention. Best club in town, bar none. And the employees are simply gorgeous.
[ A quick, half-sheepish grin, and then she gives a little nod and waves her way off. ]
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If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be who I am now. Meeting him changed me for the better.
I know that's a hard one to swallow, but it's true.
It's only because he had come along that I finally was inspired to give life a proper go.
Maybe it sounds foolish or stupid, but I've left him far too many times as it is, and I don't want to do it again.
[Okay, so maybe that was much more vague and incoherent than Toby had anticipated. Realizing this, he hastily appends:]
Besides, he seems to really enjoy the fangs.
[And the bloodsucking, too! #helpfulcomments]
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That's just my take on it. I don't know what your experience or life is. Of course.
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It was a binding spell that renders me incapable of attacking or feeding on the natives.
Not that I thought I'd needed it because by then, Dorian and I had sorted things to an extent.
And I had met others willing to assist with my dietary needs and restrictions.
Though I believe the spell had also taken things a step further to protect other imPorts as well.
I cannot feed on other imPorts without their clear and informed consent.
More often than not, I feel too selfish for wanting Dorian as much as I do.
When I first arrived, I was convinced that what I had with him was a complete lie.
I was certain he was as disgusted by what I am, as anyone else ever is.
Even though he was the one who gave me hope and the chance to start over in the first place.
Then, I found out he was here, and that he'd been here for so long. I couldn't believe it.
I confirmed it was him and then realized that he already has something here, without me.
So I tried to build a life without him, but that's exactly where everything went wrong.
I tried to deny myself what I really wanted when not doing so would've prevented so many mistakes.
And in time, I truly learned that he loves me, even as the loathsome creature that I am.
For him, I would return to being that thing, the monster taking things from him.
Perhaps it is mad and foolish selfishness, to love him so and wish always to remain his heart's desire.
But it is the one thing I want more than anything, here and back at home.
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I know what sort of man he is, and I know I'm not that much better than him.
I ruin the things around me every time I attempt building up my own worth.
He makes me feel like I'm worth anything at all.