Permavid

[governorkang]

[Kang isn't quite in full Governor!mode, but he's definitely putting his political skills to use here.]

My name is Kang, for those of you whom I haven't met. Over the past few months, I've been assisting Claire Dearing, the Curator of Paleontology at the De Chima Museum of Natural History with a new imPort initiative - one that will greatly benefit imPorts of non-human status, or the animal companions of imPorts, that have difficulties in finding or acquiring necessities such as specialized medical care and housing.

[In other words: a lot of things are human-centric and it's time this problem was addressed.]

We have two events planned for this month: an interview and a fundraising dinner.

The Scene with Dan Rogers, a talk show on the Vulpine Channel, will be interviewing several non-human imPorts on December 17th. I'd like to thank everyone that has agreed thus far, and to extend an invitation to any other non-human Miss Dearing and I may have missed to join us in the interview.

I can assure you that the questions will be screened for appropriateness beforehand by myself and Miss Dearing.

[He knows things can go south veeeery quickly otherwise. Let's try to prevent an incident on live TV as much as possible.]

If you are interested in being interviewed, please contact either Miss Dearing or I as soon as possible.

The dinner is being hosted by the De Chima Museum of Natural History on December 29th at 6PM. Tickets are $15, and all proceeds go towards the initiative; both imPorts and natives are welcome to attend. If you would like more details on the dinner, contact Miss Dearing.

Additionally, we would appreciate any others who would like to offer their assistance in this initiative.

[With that done, he relaxes slightly and holds up his right hand to show the mass of scars on it, centered around the palm.]

And speaking of this initiative, I have a question.

This may be a long shot, but are there any imPorts who specialize in neurobiology, particularly of the non-human variety?

[Details on the interview plot are here.]

Comments

[mammal_robot]

Does that seem really weird to anyone but me? Even I got a hologram thing that makes me look human.

[governorkang]

[He shrugs. So many weird things happen here he's hardly surprised by anything anymore.]

'Weird' is relative here.

[mammal_robot]

There WILL be people who want you to just pretend you're a human all the time.

[governorkang]

Then they will be sorely disappointed. I will not hide who and what I am to please others.

[mammal_robot]

Good. Just checking.

What exactly is that, if I may ask?

[governorkang]

I am a draconian.

[mammal_robot]

And not a dinosaur.

[Just to be perfectly clear on this point.]

[governorkang]

No, not a dinosaur. Such creatures never existed on my world.

We're much more closely related to dragons.

[mammal_robot]

Of course it's dragons. Why not?

Alright, that should be fine.

[governorkang]

You must have arrived after the dragon attack on several cities.

[...what?]

Fine?

[mammal_robot]

I've got a thing about dinosaurs, is all

[governorkang]

...you wouldn't happen to know someone called Dr. Dinosaur, would you?

[mammal_robot]

HE IS HERE!?

[governorkang]

Not anymore, thankfully.

[mammal_robot]

Then if you've met him, you know how I might feel after having him annoy me on and off for the last twelve years.

[governorkang]

[Flatly:]

Screaming about crystals and destroying all mammals?

[mammal_robot]

Among other things.

[He starts ticking items off on his fingers.]

He gave me an ice chest full of armed hand grenades, took me to court for destroying his time machine (He had no time machine, for the record. Time travel is impossible.), sneaked a T-Rex into the large hadron collider, and most recently he raided an elementary school science fair I was visiting. That's just for a start.

[governorkang]

That... sounds like him. The worst he managed to do here is steal a New Year's Eve countdown clock.

[mammal_robot]

He what? Why?

...Nevermind, don't tell me. There's no answer you could give me that wouldn't hurt my soul.

[governorkang]

I wasn't too sure of why either.

[mammal_robot]

Well thank god he's gone. Honestly this whole planet feels kind of like a vacation.

Anyways, forward me the details about this talk show gig when you can.

[governorkang]

Either you haven't been here long enough yet, or your world is worse than this one.

[He shakes his head.]

You should get them by tomorrow afternoon at the latest.

[mammal_robot]

Well it's only been a little over a month. Still to early to tell.

But let me have my dreams that I'll be less busy here.