001.

[magnitudes]

( Now, normally she’d think this video function was a blast, but she’s met Sarah and heard weird stuff all around (really, universe? was that necessary?) and that’s likely to come with a can of worms that she’s not quite ready to dive into just yet by plastering herself over the network. Text it is. )

Right, first off, new kid alert, please don’t steal my lunch money, etc.

I think it goes without saying that turning up here kinda sets you up to need to reassess what you define as weird. Used to be that the most bizarre thing I encountered was weedy Aussie guys thinking they could put together a decent hip hop track. It’s more or less on the same level as horrifying and disappointing as ordering a hot dog and finding out it came with a pickle. (Honestly. A pickle. In a hot dog. For the Americans here: why do you have to ruin everything? It’s about as terrible as everyone overseas thinking Fosters is our national beer of choice. No. Never. That has never been true.)

Anyway, music offences have just about been out done by walking out of the shower and turning up here, but I reckon there’s gotta be some good stories.

Funny stories, please, I beg you. If this goes to a weird place where you talk about something genuinely emotionally disturbing then I’ll feel obligated to buy you a beer, or something, and I’m not exactly rolling in cash right now. It seems a little early on to be owing people beer. Besides, I don’t think anything can really top that pickle thing. That’s still really messed up.

My other question: have any of you ever accidentally set off a firework? With your hands?
From your hands, actually. Setting of a firework with your hands sounds a bit too normal.

Comments

text

[rathercommon]

So...If not an American, what are you?

[magnitudes]

Australian. S'truth, true blue, "that's not a knife," etc.

video;

[fayzedandconfused]

I never set off a firework with my hands, but I set off huge explosions twice.

[ Said in a totally braggy way. Explosions are awesome. ]

[magnitudes]

( she peers at the video function for a moment, makes a face, and then decrees ah, fuck it because replying to a video chat feed or whatever with text seems weird. so, here she is, for one not looking like a huge mess. )

Define "huge." ( Not said in a "explosions are bad, smol child" way so much as a "pffft yeah right" way. )

And was that here or back home? Because back home I did my fair bit of explosive work.

permatext

[deadtective]

So what you're saying is if we lie about a sad enough story you'll buy us whatever we want? Because that's what I'm getting out of this.

[magnitudes]

that is the opposite of what will happen

like the exact opposite

text;

[psychofailed]

[Finally, someone who thinks all this shit is as bizarre as he does.]

Some kid made a flower bloom in midair, collapse in on itself, and rain healing sparkles on me.

[Though that's less "funny" than "I intensely questioned my sanity and have been doing so continuously for the last twelve days."]

[magnitudes]

I don't even know where to start

"healing sparkles" though I mean

how does that make sense? what kind of world is like "oh, yeah, I know, I'll give SPARKLES the power to heal people"

video;

[doubleblind]

[Say hello to another very familiar face. A familiar face with a whole lot of questions.]

You set off fireworks? Were you trying to or it just like, happen? Are you sure you set them off with your hands and not your mind?

[magnitudes]

( Jesus take the wheel.
This must be Alison. okay, no, it's fine. she's got this so sorted. Thank God Sarah warned her there were others. Actually, she thinks there were more names, but there was whiskey involved, as well, so she can't really be held accountable for this.
Video is go, and so is "incredibly Australian accent" and "somewhat concerned face." )

Now, okay, so we're gonna probably have to address a few issues, but I definitely didn't go "fireworks activate," or anything.

text.

[tardily]

I've accidentally had chemicals explode in my hands or near my hands. Does that count?

[magnitudes]

was it spontaneous combustion or should I just give you a hard time for being stupid with chemicals

unless it was an explosion that was awesome and you weren't permanently deformed or something

Permavid

[governorkang]

I can't say that I have, unless a wooden dragon construct rigged to blow up counts.

I get the feeling the reason you're asking is because this sort of ability is not normal where you're from.

[magnitudes]

( why

why is this happening

why is she suddenly on the set of jurassic park meets dungeons and dragons

why is she living her eight year old cousins dream of what the world should be like


these are all questions that occur to her, but Sarissa is too busy staring with her hand over her mouth and just squinting. )

Yeah, no. It's about as normal as seeing a giant reptile with horns. Which, for context? Not very.

( she's externally calm and internally soul screaming, basically )

private; video

[subourbon]

[It takes her awhile to work out how to make this video "private", but as soon as she's able to, Sarissa is faced with an incredibly put-out Alison Hendrix who looks anything but pleased about seeing another all-too-familiar face.]

Who are you?

[magnitudes]

G'day, nice to meet you. ( Sarcastically cheery, this one. Maybe she'll just start having a shot every time one of Sarah's sisters turns up. "Sisters." )

I'm Sarissa. And you're... ( just a brief moment, hesitation sort of, before she ventures: ) Alison? Right? Or are there more of you?

text;

[hardcorduroy]

i haven't, but my friends once set off a ton of illegal fireworks from their roof. it was great

[magnitudes]

as a former fire fighter i should probably be discouraging you

but that does sound pretty great.

cw drugs

[pillz]

this one time my friend mixed shrooms and coke. he ended up stickin his elbows back, wedgin his middle fingers under his pits stompin around pretending he was jrassic park t-rex. cept every time he looked downe hed get confusd by his fingers and switch 2 bein a burlesque girl wit titty tassels then hed look down again an go back 2 being t-rex. he did like 4x each
to a spice girls soundtrack

fireworks
on purpose. not accidentaly
r u in the market for pyrotechnics

[magnitudes]

I don't even know where to start with that
but I want you to know that I definitely didn't try to do the dinosaur thing you just described


you do the fireworks thing on purpose?
I might have accidentally set fire to my shirt this morning
which is a problem because I borrowed it and now I need to buy someone a new shirt and tell them it's because I'm Edward Sparklerhands
I'm not in the market for pyrotechnics so much as in the market for help with my own

[caerulea]

The powers thing is new to a lot of people, usually. I don't have fireworks happening, but probably try not to point your hands at people too much?

I don't think I have anything really funny to share either. A lot of weird, but that's different.

[magnitudes]

I really like gesturing! That's easier said than done! I might have to cut my hands off, okay that's the level we're talking about here

or maybe buy gloves, idk

Weird, funny, I'll accept anything really.

[acclimatized]

I've got a couple of stories from my stag do. Do they count?

As for your question, I haven't had the firework thing happen to me yet. I've been on a train with a bomb on Guy Fawkes Night but obviously it didn't go off.

[magnitudes]

well
that depends, do they involve your fiance(e) (no judgement okay just covering my bases) turning out to be the devil incarnate and trying to eat your soul or are they a bit less complicated
less complicated is good honestly

oh my god
well good, obviously
that sounds like a bloody story on its own
everyone get out okay? i know it didn't go off but oher shit can happen
*other
did they catch the dickhead who did it?

text;

[valuemeal]

[ Okay, so what mostly attracted him to all this is the fact that there's finally admitting that everything here is weird and that he's not the only one weirded out by it.. but admitting that so directly is still a step too far, so he starts with something else. ]

i don't think that anyone who sets off fireworks accidentally still has the hands to write a message about it with.

[magnitudes]

unless they're me

but as a general rule I'd say you're right

i'm just special i guess go me