video;

[whathawksdo]

[ And amidst the current madness comes a new one that is entirely unrelated.

One that just so happens to be a horse.

And as it isn't every day that one wakes up to a war horse in the backyard of De Chima #005, Hawke has taken it upon herself to go outside, adamantly point her communicator's camera at it, and ask, ]

Has anyone misplaced a massive horse? Or did I get incredibly drunk and steal one? I do admit to a hangover, but I think I would remember stealing a horse that size... or did I think it was a dog...?

[ A very large dog, but no. That's most definitely a horse. One that had been in the middle of savaging the shrubbery that separates #005's yard from the next one over, right up until he notices he has company. Now he's abandoning his early morning breakfast to turn and take a snap at her instead, great big horsey teeth and all. ]

Whoa! [ The video feed jerks as she hops back. ] Hey! You big, dumb--!

[ Please hold, Hawke is about to encounter technical difficulties. ]

Comments

[video] > [action]

[protects_the_small]

[Kel had been upstairs, wondering why her communicator was displaying a date two days later than when she had gone to sleep when she sees the feed. For a moment she sits, poleaxed. But as the teeth come at the screen, she drops the comm and runs to the window]

Peachblossom, NO!

[And then Hawke might hear thumping as she races down the stairs, hopefully to the rescue]

[whathawksdo]

Oh good, now there's yelling.

[ Just what she needed to cut through the headache, while she flattens herself against the outside wall to avoid another snap from Peachblossom. ]

Peachblossom? [ Hawke gives the ill-tempered beast the deadest look ever. ] Who in their right mind named something like you Peachblossom? Is it short for Peachblossom the Unholy or...?

[protects_the_small]

[Peachblossom's head jerks back at the shout, his ears pricking forward at a familiar voice. Hawke's comment gets him eyeing her again, though he doesn't do more than bare his teeth in her direction.

Just then Kel arrives.]

What....when did...NO, don't you try it. [Reaching, she grabs his reins, which someone has not bothered to take off him. Slightly wild-eyed, she turns to Hawke]

How did he get here?

video;

[newwaver]

Oh my god.

[That sure is a horse. Felix is slightly terrified even from his own side of the feed.]

[whathawksdo]

[ What was that, Felix? You wanted a close-up of mean ol' Peachblossom? Sure thing! ]

I'm not sure you'd want him as a god. Seems a bit mean.

[newwaver]

[That is the opposite of what he wants. Plus side, he isn't actually near it. Though he may fear slightly for Hawke's life.]

A bit mean? Didn't he just try and bite your arm off?

video;

[dogsled]

You need to microwave a potato.

[whathawksdo]

Microwave a-- what would that do? Do horses even eat potatoes?

[dogsled]

No, but your new friend there seems to have a biting problem. A microwaved potato would solve it.

video;

[brushoff]

[ are you ready to make fun of 1880s Dorian cause guess what Hawke, you're getting that opportunity, starting with the fact that he's wearing an ascot...and also the top of his head is out of the frame. ]

How the devil do you misplace a horse?

[whathawksdo]

[ Well, it looks pretentious, so is she really going to be able to tell this is a different Dorian? ]

I didn't misplace a horse. It's just... he's just there. In the yard. Suddenly!

[brushoff]

[ it's the curse of all Dorians, pretentiousness ]

Well fine then, I suppose the question should have been how the devil does someone else misplace a horse. They aren't exactly small.

[illuminescent]

That is an enormous horse.

[whathawksdo]

With an equally enormous appetite, if the sad remains of the yard tells me anything...

[protects_the_small]

[From offscreen]

In fairness, a lot of that trampled grass is my doing, not his!

video;

[poppedballoon]

...Are you sure it's a normal horse? It looks real mean.

[whathawksdo]

I think horses might be born mean, actually, so, yes, very... normal...?

[ There is a small child with a communicator? Of course. This place never makes sense. ]

[poppedballoon]

[hey whatever he's nine, totally of communicator age.]

That can't be true. A horse is supposed to be a heroes best friend. And the farmers' horses never seem so bad. A little slow, but not mean.

[video]

[timecapture]

I want a horse!

[Priorities.]

But seriously - what did you do?

[whathawksdo]

What did I do? Nothing! I walked outside, if that counts, but it shouldn't!

[ Her existing is only an offense to the Chantry, not horses! ]

[timecapture]

You made a friend!

[Squee.]

video;

[rideme]

... Having a little trouble with a farm animal, Hawke?

[whathawksdo]

One that isn't on a farm! Why, why did he have to end up in my yard?

voice;

[hisheartsdesire]

...Even pissed, how could anyone mistake a horse that large for a dog?

[Because that just sounds ridiculous.]

[whathawksdo]

There could be dogs that big! You don't know what the Porter's apt to dump in the middle of these cities anymore, right?