maskormenace

[There’s a lot of noise in the background of this video post. Like, way more noise than usual when Mabel’s face shows up on the network. One could say almost… exactly double the noise?]

Hi! Hey. Important question. I know everybody’s busy with stuff but this is a matter of life and death probably? Through forces beyond our control we have an animal that-- well look!

[The camera pans. Two twelve year old boys (who look suspiciously like tiny versions of the Stans) are riding a magnificent creature around a living room. Dipper watches anxiously, but seems resigned to the situation. He has the look of someone who has walked through the flames of hell and can now withstand anything. The camera stays on the chaos long enough for one of the Stan kids to fall off the… thing. The lower part of the thing. The part you can conceivably ride on.]

It’s a centaurtaur! And we’re not sure how it breathes? Or eats. We have some, um, theories but we can’t test it because we can't reach. So if anyone’s ever had any experience with an animal like this or you’re pretty tall and willing to help us do some research please let us know! Thanks.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Do you need a stepladder?

[Ford looks back over at the centaurtaur, making a considering noise as he tries to estimate the difference between how tall he is (not very) and how tall the abomination of an animal is (incredibly).]

Maybe a real ladder.

Yes, it seems most likely a real ladder. Is it just the four of you at the house right now?

There's another girl here. But she's been spending a lot of time in her room.

[ smart Pacifica. ]

In that case, all of you stay right there, keep the centaurtaur from breaking things and I'll hopefully be by with a ladder soon.

[He looks behind him, winces a little, and when he looks back at the camera it's with at least some the guilt of a kid who knows he's done something he probably wasn't supposed to.]

... If it's already broken that's okay, right?

[ ohhhhhhh jesus ]

If it's already broken, try not to let it get further broken. A vase in two pieces is easier to repair than one in twenty.

[The brief face Ford makes probably means it's in a few more than two pieces, but after looking back at the mess one more time he turns to nod at the camera, at least halfway confident.]

I think we can do that. Probably.

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