video

[glitterateur]

[There’s a lot of noise in the background of this video post. Like, way more noise than usual when Mabel’s face shows up on the network. One could say almost… exactly double the noise?]

Hi! Hey. Important question. I know everybody’s busy with stuff but this is a matter of life and death probably? Through forces beyond our control we have an animal that-- well look!

[The camera pans. Two twelve year old boys (who look suspiciously like tiny versions of the Stans) are riding a magnificent creature around a living room. Dipper watches anxiously, but seems resigned to the situation. He has the look of someone who has walked through the flames of hell and can now withstand anything. The camera stays on the chaos long enough for one of the Stan kids to fall off the… thing. The lower part of the thing. The part you can conceivably ride on.]

It’s a centaurtaur! And we’re not sure how it breathes? Or eats. We have some, um, theories but we can’t test it because we can't reach. So if anyone’s ever had any experience with an animal like this or you’re pretty tall and willing to help us do some research please let us know! Thanks.

Comments

[infomodder]

[He would steal literally all of them. Even the Roomba. Especially the dog, of course.]

That is a lot to move. [He'd take them all though, half their house has gone, they have the space. Still.] If you had to...would be easier to move the centaurtaur instead of all them, wouldn't it? If you're really worried it'll eat them.

[He says centaurtaur in complete seriousness because why wouldn't he.]

[glitterateur]

[His ability to roll with weird animals plaguing his live is inspiring.]

I'm not worried it'll eat them... I mean not really? It's double horses so it's probably not a carnivore! But someone suggested we let it go in a forest so it could roam free and forage for itself and we could check up on it to make sure it's okay!

[infomodder]

[Having a son helps...kids come up with the weirdest names for things. Gotta roll with it instead of being an asshole correcting every little thing.]

Hey, that's not a bad idea. [And this is why Sasha and Will get along so well, go figure.] If you give it enough time, it'll probably make some friends and you can check up on them, too.

[glitterateur]

[Will Graham: father of the year. And weird import uncle friend of the year, judging by how happy that seems to make Mabel.]

You think? Yeah! Yeah, I bet it'll get adopted by the swamp apes. Maybe they'll make it their leader.

[infomodder]

[The only trophy anyone needs: Mabel's joy. That's it, all achievements unlocked.]

Looks like leader material to me. [Because it's bizarre as fuck, yes, but it's two horses, which makes it majestic. That combination of frightening and awesome is leader material.] Bet it would really happy to get to splash around, too. Have space to move around and call its own.

[glitterateur]

Right? Everybody needs their own space, especially leader types! 'Cause of all that independence and stuff. [Mabel nods. Yes. Will Graham, animal hoarder king, has said this thing. This thing is true now.] And if we visit a couple times a week to check up on it that's not really hovering.

[infomodder]

Exactly!

[Best case scenario: the centaurtaur knows how to take care of itself and does for a long, happy life. Worst case scenario: it gets itself killed out there in the Nature and is subsequently eaten before Mabel can find any remains, so she can assume centaurtaur simply moved elsewhere.

It's pretty much a win/win situation if Will ever came across one so of course he's encouraging it.]

Let me know where you release it, okay? I'd like to check up on its progress, too.

[glitterateur]

[Mabel nods. Surely this will be a win/win because no matter what the centuartaur will survive and either make many new animal friends or become a cool lone wolf. Wolftaurtaur.]

I will! You'll be the first person I tell.

[infomodder]

Good to know. [That smile can be heard from space.] Take care of yourself, all right?