[ Audio ]

[irassible]

[ Today's broadcaster: male, young-ish, and openly irritated, which may or may not be a result of a half-hour long struggle with technology and its use, just to get this far. One would assume he had been given the same instruction on how to use the communicator as ever other imPort, but one would also have to assume he'd actually been listening, instead of furiously stewing. ]

I don't want to talk to any of you.

This isn't an excuse to get social with me.

I need information and if you've got it, I'll listen. If not, piss off.

[ With that friendly, rousing introduction, he immediately continues: ]

Why is some parking paid but some isn't? How do you pay it? Why are tickets involved if they're not for travel?

Is "cola" how you poison your enemies?

What is "weefee" and what's it connecting to?

Has there always been one moon here, or did there used to be more?





[ And then, after a long, surly silence: ]

I need recommendations for markets with fresh produce. In bulk.

Comments

audio.

[23wishes]

Cola is soda, it's a kind of fizzy sugary drink. It's not healthy, but it won't kill anyone. And I think weefee is how we're talking right now.

Sorry, I don't know the rest yet. I just got here too.

[irassible]

We're not talking on a--

Linkshell doesn't mean anything to you, does it?

[23wishes]

No, sorry. Should it?

voice;

[valuemeal]

[ What a very polite introduction, it's true. But Hyunsoo is too weirded out by this person's complete lack of common knowledge that he's already replied before he even remembers the first half of it, honestly. The downsides of having a mouth that moves faster than your brain at times. ]

If you're giving cola to someone you don't like, you should shake it first. [ Actually genuine advice. Pretty much. ]

[irassible]

What, does that make it more volatile than it already is?

[ His response implies mistakes were made. ]

[valuemeal]

.. how exactly did you use it?

[ Cola? Volatile? Hyunsoo might be a weenie, but that's going too far even by his standards. ]

video

[booyahh]

[ Traci is not sorry. ]

Yes. Cola is how we poison our enemies. You should be careful with it, definitely don't pour it down any drains.

audio;

[irassible]

Why, what happens if it goes down a pi--

[ Wait.

Wait wait wait.

...a woman's face is looking out from the screen. There's a little flashing indicator asking him if he wants to go to video.

?????? ]

video on her end

[booyahh]

[ She tilts her head and raises an eyebrow. ]

Everything okay? You kinda cut off there.

video;

[poppedballoon]

How many moons do you need? [a simple question from a small face. A small face which is currently enjoying a bag of potato chips. And which is either sitting on a gigantic furry dog or a very fuzzy couch.

(Spoilers: the answer is both.)]

audio;

[irassible]

[ Another face! A...child's face, this time. It's obviously part of this technology, because no one is acting as surprised as he feels, but it's still...really...

He answers, even while poking at the child's cheeks on his communicator. ]

Just...one. I just need one.

But my world used to have two and I wondered if others were the same.

audio;

[poppedballoon]

Two? [such a furrowed brow.]

How is it they don't knock into each other when they go 'round the turtle?

audio

[superposition]

Well, that was rude enough I thought it was going to be something important. Here, try this.

[In text, he includes a link to Google.]

audio

[irassible]

[ Stares at the friendly, colorful letters for a bit. ]

And this is what?

i should probably apologize for this asshole but

[superposition]

It's called a search engine. Type your question in the box, hit go, and Google gives you the answer. End result, you waste less of your own time and none of anybody else's. You're welcome.

video;

[earnedmystripes]

That's a pretty rude way to ask for help, y'know. [Huff puff.]

Anyway, cola's a kind of soda. It's perfectly safe to drink.

[wHY WOULD YOUR FIRST ASSUMPTION BE POISON WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, SIR.]

And, uh, wifi is like...tech that connects you to the internet? [Beat.] Wait, do you know what the internet is?

[8|a;;; okay moving on for now]

Earth's always had one moon as far as I know, aaaand as far as the parking goes, sometimes it's paid because it's being offered as a service in one of those big garages, rather than being just out in public on the street where it's available to anyone. A parking ticket in this case uuuusually means you did something wrong, though.

permaudio b/c skype is hard

[irassible]

Cola isn't safe to handle.

[ He says this with the confidence of someone who recently experienced a cola-related accident. Also: makes no effort to be less rude, but is at least not making effort to be MORE rude. ]

The internet is a...network? Multiple people sending messages?

[ He's struggling, but also trying. It's almost familiar. Almost. ]

I wasn't parked, my chocobo was tethered. Shouldn't that be different?

permavid over here!

[earnedmystripes]

[SQUINTS AT]

What did you do?

...And sorta, yeah. I mean, it's more complicated than that, but it's like the network. But there's all sorts of other stuff too, like sites that have info on various things or advertise their business or the ones where people can post videos of stuff.

I've got no idea what a chocobo is, though.

video;

[marriedmedium]

Cola isn't poison, darling, but it's a terrible waste of liquid space! You're much better off with a martini.

permaudio b/c tv hasn't been invented yet where he's from

[irassible]

Martini? What's that?

SHE'LL ROLL WITH AUDIO she's accommodating. also drunk.

[marriedmedium]

It's gin and vermouth with just one olive, if you do it right! Are you saying you don't have such things where you're from?

[She sounds both aghast and deeply, deeply sympathetic.]

audio

[rathercommon]

[ Cheerily: ]

Third and Elm. There's a farmer's market that sets up every Saturday morning.

audio

[irassible]

[ ....








...bah. ] In De Chima?

meanwhile, in action-ville, de chima,

[whathawksdo]

[ First a horse, now... now... whatever! She isn't sure! A giant chicken and a giant cat? A cat person? A man with a tail? Hawke's been having such a bizarre week, so she honestly shouldn't be surprised. Still, there's only so much time she can spend sipping coffee and watching him loiter outside.

Inevitably, she has to go open the door and yell, ]

Are you lost? Because you've been standing there for quite some time!

[irassible]

[ He had been hoping, perhaps foolishly, that the house was empty. True, the papers he'd been provided along with the key had notated that there were other occupants. But, perhaps--

Except wishful thinking is wishful thinking, and he's caught off-guard, occupied with prodding and poking and talking into his communicator. He at least got down off of his bird - currently armored in a mix of silver metal and hard blue canvas - before she came outside; now he's just standing next to him, right in the middle of the lawn. ]

Wh--

I'm...

[ He doesn't like to be surprised. He quickly turns his frown into more of a frown and says, almost defiantly. ]

I'm to live here.